Ah, dear readers. It's been a long week in the Addiverse. One of my counseling clients committed suicide last weekend. It's taken me a bit to get back into the swing of things. Thanks for your patience as I work my way back to normality, whatever that is. Suicide is a very unfortunate downside to being a counselor. Alas, that is really all I have to say about this. I just had to say something, so thank you for indulging my need.
Let's move on to something more irreverent or shallow or delicious shan't we? Let's talk about my hair. That's pretty shallow, so it works for me.
I'm letting my hair go gray.
Yes, you read that right. I'm stepping away from the hair dye and letting things go. I've decided that dyeing my hair for over 30 years is long enough. Besides, I figure it will be easier to do this now than wait until I'm all gray and have to figure out how to tackle the project.
My goal is to look like Jamie Lee Curtis. She's got kick ass gray hair.
The chances of me actually EVER looking like Jamie Lee Curtis are zero and none, but it's a goal to admire.
Our supposedly-evolved American society is rude to women when it comes to hair. Why is it that men are considered to look distinguished when their hair goes gray but when a woman's hair is gray, it is wrong or old or less attractive or whatever? Men can be thirty years old with graying hair and it's all good. Women? Most of us freak out and start covering that strand of gray hair before it sees the light of day. There is a lot of pressure around here to avoid gray hair like the plague. It's quite the double standard. And, oh the stigma!
Can you imagine if presidential candidate Hillary Clinton showed up with gray hair? Whether you support her or not, let's face it: she'd have no chance whatsoever if her gray roots were sticking out. She'd be considered way too old, just by the look of her hair. People would freak out. Women with gray hair are old, aged, not as able as a younger-looking woman.
Oh, America--we don't value older, wiser women. We are taught to envy youth. We are taught that gray hair makes you older, dumber, feebler, dated....less marketable in the workplace, less valued as a productive person. We don't value widsom.
If I were thinking about changing jobs, I wouldn't do this. I don't want to be considered "too old" to get the job. Awful and shallow as that is, that is exactly what would happen. I would be judged by my "hair age," even though ageism is protected "class."
Don't believe me? Then, why are scientists wasting time figuring out how to prevent hair from graying, rather than saving the world from cancer? Yes, science is doing this. Find the gene, prevent the gray. (Don't tell my hair-a-pist. That'd be a significant blow to her livelihood.)
I'd like to tell you I'm taking a stand, spitting into the face of American vanity, that I'm shitting all over the belief a woman with gray hair is a lesser person than one with a good dye job....
....but, that'd be a stretch. Oh, sure--I don't cater to society's bullshit (after all, LOOK at me--I'm not exactly a fashionista), but really.....
...I'm just tired of dyeing my hair and shelling out the money it costs to keep up with dyed locks. And, I really want to avoid having to do this later in life. The time is upon us.
To tackle the graying of the hair, I had to (1) convince my hair-a-pist that this was a good idea; and, (2) agree to having shorter than usual hair for the time being. Neither of these turned out to be a problem. For some reason, my hair-a-pist didn't argue. I was ready for a fight. Having short hair...well, I already have short hair and I've had even shorter hair than this adventure requires. No one would think twice about my shorter hair. It's not exactly a novelty in the Addiverse.
Now, I'm not even close to being all gray, so I won't be showing up at your next social gathering with a tuft of snow atop my head. I'm actually not very gray at all. I'm sure I'll look increasingly gray as my hair grows out (and, obviously as time goes on) but really--this IS the perfect time to take on this endeavor. I won't have to go through that awful "oh-my-gawd, look-at-that-gray-stripe-at-the roots" look. It'll be gradual. It'll save me money for my retirement. It won't cost me nary a thought.
It will just happen.
I'm sorry to say that the comments have already started. I was standing around yesterday (er--I mean, being a productive member of the workplace), when a client walked up to me and stared at my head. (The chronically mentally ill tend to have a refreshing approach to life, including saying whatever the hell they want to say.) He then stepped around to look at the back of my head. After a few seconds more of staring, he said, "time to get your locks done. You're gray is showing."
Here's a guy who's busy trying to deal with auditory hallucinations, poverty, medication side effects, rejection from society...and, on what does he focus?
My graying hair.
Says a lot, don't you think?
I opened my mouth to justify my decision but then I realized how I really didn't need to do that. It's my hair and it's my gray and I can go gray if I want to. As he continued to look quite concerned about this, I reassured him that I knew about the gray hair and then thanked him for telling me. I figure it was wise to assure him of reality. My hair is really showing some gray. For a guy who's not sure what is real and what is not, it's good to know you're seeing what you're seeing.
I should probably do a photo documentation of the process but I'm not motivated to do so. I figure various non-purposeful photos along the way will document the unfolding event. Besides, who knows if I'll stick to this decision? In three months, I might decide this is the dumbest thing I've ever done and have my hair dyed blue.
I wish I could say gray is the new black....but, it's not. Not yet. I intend to change that. Stand back, world. Salt and pepper, I embrace your arrival.
Jamie Lee Curtis, here I come.
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