Last night, I watched almost three hours of video blogs--or, vlogs as they are known. (Blogging is so old school. Sigh. I'm always a day late and a dollar short.) I hadn't planned on doing such a ridiculous thing but I got sucked in and before you know it, three hours had passed. My original intent was to watch a specific video on the TubeoftheYou and then go be productive (like do laundry). Well, the video-verse had other ideas. Soon, I was watching various vloggers do their thing. I ended up watching a few specific vloggers at length--in fact, I watched two years of one vlogger's efforts.
As you are most likely aware, you can find videos on anything in the TubeoftheYou. Want to see how to polish your tungsten ring? BAM! Want to learn how to install a replacement boot for the stick shift? WHAM! Wondering if it is difficult to replace the screen on your laptop? ZOWEE! I've successfully done all three of those things, thanks to videos from random strangers. Hell, last night's outing on TubeoftheYou was to see how to best groom a shih tzu's face. Seriously. I wanted to trim Freckles' face and felt I could be more successful if I saw someone do it first.
For the record, there are a lot of shih tzus getting groomed on TubeoftheYou. Most of the shih tzu's looked happy--some were even waggin their tails. Too bad Freckles wasn't watching along with me--she could have seen how happy she should look when I am sticking scissors in her face.
Once I figured out that I was indeed trying to groom Freckles' hair the proper way, I moved on to the vlogs.One thing led to another. Damn them for making suggestions of what I might want to watch next.
Overall, the vlogs were entertaining but not Oscar-worthy (or, whatever award they bestow upon vloggers). Most had no redeeming value beyond entertainment (a familiar tenet) but the whole thing was interesting and it was inspiring in many ways.....such as they inspired me to contemplate why I don't vlog.
I quickly came to my senses and realized I am born to blog, not vlog. There are numerous reasons of which I was easily and instantly able to identify this fact. My most rational thought?
I am not an attractive 20-something year female. (Don't tell anyone.)
I do believe, as is true in most if not all visual media arenas, being young and attractive goes a lonnnng way. Now, I know I was focused on a specific genre which just happened to feature attractive 20-something year olds, so I cannot generalize this across the video-verse but it's safe to say younger and attractive wins views. I'm not sure there is a big calling for not-exactly-beauty-queen-material 50-something year olds.....although I have no scientific data to back up this thought and I'm sure at least three people on the planet would find me humorous. (The wife would not be one of those three people. She doesn't find me as entertaining as I think I am.)
Don't get me wrong. There are all sorts of videos that do not require or feature attractive 20-something year old females.
Personal trainers, chiropractors, singing teens, gardening enthusiasts,
dog groomers, comedians, pregnant ladies, conspiracy theorists, beauty experts, bird watchers, etc. all have
videos. But, the vloggers of which I speak--the infamous and famous--those who are ranked in the upper eschalon of vlog-dom--happen to be rather attractive and young.
Of course, the audience for famous vloggers appears much younger than the audience of which I seek. The vlogger's world is comprised of sound bites and visual explosions. Who has time to read a book or a blog when there are 10 minute videos to be had? The vlogger and vlog viewer are of an era I do not belong, like it or not. I may remember watching the first video on M-TV but today's youth doesn't know that M-TV used to play videos....or, that M-TV didn't exist until 1981. Vloggers seek the audience of the computer, the tablet, the smart phone--any vehicle to the Internet. They do not remember life before the Internet. Heck, they don't even know there was life without cable TV.
And thus, I shall stick to blogging.
Every once in awhile, I check out a vlog from Jenna Marbles, a 29 year old female social-media-based comedian full of swear words and inappropriate thoughts. I find her to be hilarious. She wouldn't be the wife's cup of tea but she is certainly mine. Currently, she has SIXTEEN MILLION subscribers to her TubeoftheYou channel (one of which is me). Sixteen million!!!!! Jenna has a blog but her blog has her vlogs imbedded into it so she's a blog-vlog-grrrrl...plus, her blog has her instagram, Twitter feed and Facebook link on it, so it's an explosion of social media. Can you imagine? This lady makes a weekly vlog, posts it and then gets millions of hits.
I'm happy when I get thirty views.
Now, Jenna's job IS social media, so it is no surprise she's got all that going on and that she gets at least 999,961 more views than I do. She's extremely good at her job--so much so that she is now famous enough to have a wax replica in the wax museum. Incredibly, she's not in the top ten vloggers in the world but she's listed as #17 on the top vloggers list I just googled.
I do not forsee a career in vlogging in my future but I wouldn't mind seeing myself re-created in wax. That'd be awesome.
I'm not sure they make wax figures of bloggers but they should.
So, if you have a few hours to spare, go to the land of You and watch a handful of vloggers. Or, if you're like me, watch some videos on how do something you've been meaning to do but need a visual before trying to do it. Watch a favorite TV episode, enjoy a video from a favorite band, laugh along with a well-known (or, not so well known) vlogger....I just watched a vlog about a vlogger getting a dog. Seriously. What is wrong with me? Four thousand things to do this morning and I'm watching a vlog of a dog.....
All I ask is that you come back to the world of the word and to please stay true to the bloggers. It's a sad and lonely world out there, being the outdated folks that we are. I have a dog and can post photos of her just as well as any vlogger can....stay with me....stay with us, people of print (electronic or otherwise)....
...until they make a wax blogger, we'll need all the readers we can get.
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Hey, I can post a dog video, people.....perhaps I shall make a video about how not to groom a shih tzu. Until then.....
Freckles Crawl
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