Words of wisdom from Lucy, Bark of Poteidaia:
Start each day with an obnoxious squeaky toy and don't stop squeaking until (1) the squeaky is broken; (2) the squeaky is removed from the toy and then broken; (3) some mean human comes along and takes the squeaky toy because he/she cannot tolerate one more minute of squeakiness.
If someone takes your squeaky toy, don't let it get you down. Wait until the squeaky toy is put back in the toy pile...wait....wait...go get it and start squeaking again. Pure bliss.
Never miss the opportunity to give a kiss. Heck, kiss them twice. Kiss them when they are not looking. Kiss with reckless abandon.
Never say no to a treat. Never. Life is too short to say no to treats. Besides, that fat, smelly dog will come over and steal it if you don't eat it, so enjoy it yourself. The fat, smelly dog doesn't need another treat.
Tolerate your human friends when they do stupid things like put you in costumes, put boots on your feet, try to feed you healthy treats, don't take you along when they go get ice cream, insist on yet another posed photo with the fat, smelly dog. They can't help it. They know not what they do.
Run. Run when you can, while you still can. If you can't run, skip. If you can't skip, trot. If you can't trot, hang out with the fat, smelly dog.
Stick with the underdog. Who doesn't love an underdog? If you can't stick with the underdog, stick with the under bite. There is nothing cuter than a shih tzu with an under bite.
Eat waffles. Right, grandma? It's even better if the waffles are made by said grandma. You can't have a bad day when you eat a waffle.
Say hi to everyone you meet while on a walk. You might be the bright spot of someone's day. Say hi enthusiastically!
Remember that ice cream and whipped cream are the food of the gods. It pays to know that DQ gives out "pup cups" and Bucks of Star give out "pup lattes." Get in the car and get thee to the drive through.
Use your cute face, sparkling personality and/or your under bite to get your way. Don't be relegated to the floor--sparkle that personality and get your place on the couch.
Behave as much as you can....progress, not perfection. If you accidentally chew the computer cord, don't forget to use that charm and personality. If you roll in raccoon poop, look innocent and apologetic. If you eat raccoon poop, look even more apologetic and remind your human you're behaving the best you can. If you run down the street when you are not supposed to be running down the street, run fast and then behave as best you can, using a kiss and charm to avoid issue upon return home.
Ask for forgiveness, not permission. See above. Oops! Did I just eat the fat, smelly dog's treat? Did I just jump up on the back of the couch? Did I just rip up that box of Kleenex? Gosh, I'm sorry. I thought it was for me--I didn't know. I'll ask next time.
If that doesn't work, look adorable.
When all else fails, use your pouty face. Who says dogs don't have emotions?
If you throw up, it is best not to eat your own vomit. Don't let the fat, smelly dog eat it, either.
When offered a ride to where you are going, take it. While you are at it, see if you can stick your head out the window. If they say no to sticking your head out the window, enjoy the ride anyway.
Keep it simple. Smile, wink, squeak, kiss, eat, pee, poop.
Celebrate life. Squeak a squeaky. Eat a waffle. Kiss a sad person. Kiss a happy person. Run, walk, skip, jump. Don't just sit on the couch. Celebrate and live life.
Thank you, Lucy, Bark of Poteidaia. You were an amazing dog that brought us so much joy. We celebrate life and eat ice cream in your honor. Kiss kiss!
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