Wayne's W*rld

I usually think of these really creative titles for blog entries but then don't use them because they are often based on a movie or a song or a book or something....which confuses people when they google what they are looking for and find me, instead.  It might be genius on my part to use such titles, as it does indeed bring thousands of "hits." Call me chicken. I'm glad when I have 50 hits and somehow don't feel it right to dupe people into finding me. I'll work on getting over that.

I don't usually use "real" names when blogging as I like to protect the guilty. Besides, I like to make up all sorts of supposedly-witty nicknames. In the case of this blog, I am using the main man's real first name. It is a homage to him; thus, I feel it only appropriate to use his name.

Have you ever made donations of clothing or household items or anything other than money to a specific organization and then wondered what happened to the stuff or where did it go or who is now using it? I get all sorts of generous stuff donated for distribution at where I work, but the problem is that no one ever gets to see where it goes, as confidentiality abounds. I can't take photos of the people as it would be a violation of all sorts of regulations and ethical obligations. I send thank you notes, but that doesn't "capture" what truly happens.

There is magic when donations arrive. 

At my place of employment, I've seen people who haven't had a new blanket in years (if ever) stare at me in disbelief when I hand them a donation of a new bedding set. It is very confusing and overwhelming. Sometimes, there is what I call "cover anger," which is a coping skill learned over the years. It's almost as this is too good to be true and you're just gonna take it back, so now you've pissed me off." It takes time to accept things without strings attached--it's hard to grasp that only love and generosity are attached.

I've seen people hold a pile of new, donated wash clothes like they were holding something breakable, unable to comprehend that this pile is theirs to keep from someone of which they do not know. I've seen clients clutch to hand-made holiday cards like they were gold--because, to those without families, they ARE gold.

Mental illness is confusing enough--donations from strangers can be more confusing. After all, who's gonna give you something without strings attached when your own family has written you off?

This blog, I am here to tell you what happened in the case of the most recent donation of clothing from a very dear friend. Wayne, her husband, passed away very unexpectedly, much-too-soon, not very long ago. Our friend has slowly gone through Wayne's belongings--a task of which I wish on no one. A pile here, a drawer there, a part of the closet. I cannot imagine this feat. Along the way, she has made donations of his clothes to "my" clients.

Until this point, I had dispersed the items she donated here and there, seeking people in need and of the right size. While it's always rewarding to do this, I didn't realize how much a punch it didn't pack....

.....this time, I decided to disperse all her newest "Wayne donations" in one fell swoop. Wayne's wife had donated an amazing assortment of new and barely-used winter clothing. I decided that by taking photos of the winter coats, ski/snow pants, sweaters, pants, socks and even shoes, I could mass-email the agency and get the word out. Of the four pair of shoes, two of them had not been worn or perhaps had been worn once. I made sure to take a photo of the unused shoe treads.

Coats are a hot commodity--barely used name brand coats are not even part of our client consciousness. I gasped as I took the photos--these high-end winter coats didn't even looked used. I knew these would make a huge difference in someone's winter.

I sent out an email to the entire agency, complete with descriptions and photos. I explained that the items were by my office and that it was first come, first dibs. I added that anything not claimed by the end of the day would be donated to the weekend's clothing drive. (I've learned that time limits go a long way.)

Within minutes of hitting the "send" button, people were at my door. Everywhere I looked, magic was swooping down upon me.

I saw one of the younger staff--a guy who happens to spend much time working outdoors--standing off to the side, casually looking at the pile. He didn't know I was watching, but I was. I saw his eyes zero in on a significantly-used pair of those outdoor brown one-piece things that guys wear when it's ridiculously cold outside. They were stained and beat up but still in one piece, had no holes and were most definitely still able to function in the capacity of which they were designed: to stay warm while working outdoors. (It is important to note that some of our line staff face many issues, including poverty; after all, no one is going to get rich working for us.) He slowly walked toward me and asked if staff could look at the donations. I assured him that was fine. He asked about the coveralls, noting he didn't have anything like this to wear when shoveling and plowing in the wee hours of the morning. I encouraged him to try the coverall on and explained that the woman who had donated this item would be glad to know someone who worked outside would get good use of the coveralls. I added how I didn't think any clients would be interested in them.

I thought he was going to cry. He was so grateful that I could actually feel it coming out of his pores. He held the coveralls up and asked if I thought they would fit. I said they looked perfect. Wayne, score one for you. This winter, you will be riding shotgun, keeping a fine young man warm during his efforts to keep our driveways and parking lots cleared of snow.

Clients were trying on things left and right. It was like a fashion show! Sweaters, coats, pants all in a flurry of motion. There was laughing and bartering and planning and even sad sighing (from those of whom could not squeeze into the chosen donated item).Within in the first hour, almost every article of clothing had found new owners.

By the end of the day, it was like I was walking in Wayne's World...everywhere I looked, little "pieces" of Wayne could be seen. One client walked by in his newly-claimed black cowboy boots. I overheard another client talking about his new socks, noting that he had no socks so he was pretty glad to get all these socks. One of Wayne's sweaters could be seen in the distance, proudly being worn by a young man who was now sweating profusely--it was too warm to wear a sweater, but he was not going to wait to wear his new clothing! I was touched at how much I got to "see" and "feel" Wayne on this day.

I noticed that a pair of new black dress shoes had been left behind--everything else was gone. I think they may have been overlooked, as they had been pushed under a chair. I didn't think much about them and left them so an owner could find them. I celebrated how our agency was Wayne's W*rld today.

That afternoon, I was off site, talking to a staff who was getting married the next day. The guy is pretty tight with money--he has a big family and lots of bills, despite being frugal and conscientious about his money. He mentioned that he had to go out and get a pair of black shoes for the wedding. I knew this guy didn't have money to spend on himself for shoes. The guy never buys new clothes, instead making sure the new stuff is there for his kids. He wore scruffy sweatshirts and shorts--all year long. I looked down at his feet and asked what size shoe he wears. When he said the size, I started laughing. I told him to call our office and see if there were still a pair of black shoes underneath the chair where I had last seen them.

Of course, the shoes were still there. Brand new black dress shoes, there for the taking. Of course, they fit perfectly. Was there  doubt? Wayne was just waiting for the right guy to come along.

I am pleased to announce that Wayne made it to the wedding. The shoes were exactly what the groom had envisioned. They looked great! Not only was Wayne's W*rld enveloping me at work--here he was at a wedding! An outdoor wedding, no less--something Wayne would have enjoyed.

I can't wait for the weather to get a bit colder so I can "see" Wayne everywhere.

Please know that when you make a donation, magic does really happen. Picture me and "my" clients in Wayne's W*rld. It's a great place to be.

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With profound Gratitude to Wayne's wife
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