Hermione's Magic Trunk

For the record, we love the new washer and dryer. I spend all my waking hours washing and then drying things. Oh, that fresh and petty underwear!

My car trunk is legendary. It's probably known across the world.

Well, it's known to my friends and co-workers. That's a start.

If you are not familiar with the Harry Potter character "Hermione," I'll need to bring you up to speed what the hell I'm talking about in this blog. (Don't go unconscious if you are not a HP fan or have never seen the movies. HP isn't the point of this blog. Stay with me.) Hermione, the female in the trio of stars, carried a small beaded hand bag....on which she cast the Undetectable Extension Spell. The spell-bound small bag allowed her to carry an unbelievable amount of stuff that she, Ron and Harry needed to survive everything in Book Seven. Hermie had all sorts of nonsense shoved into that purse--a ton of clothes, the invisibility cloak, a tent, books, first aid stuff, a sword....heck, she even had an oil portrait of a beloved relative in that small bag.

You get the picture: tiny bag, huge loot.

I don't have a magic hand bag but I do have a car trunk. I think it must have a spell cast on it, as my car trunk is the equivalent of Hermione's bag. It doesn't look very full but looks can be deceiving.

If I can't find something (which is an hourly event), there are three places I look: in my work bag, on my the kitchen table....and, in my trunk. It's become a joke at work. Someone will ask something like, "does anyone have any packing tape?" and I'll chime in, "I have a roll in my trunk." If someone needs a battery, an extra Ethernet cord, pink duct tape, a band-aid, dog leash or even a deck of cards, I can go to my trunk and fulfill the request.

The other day, a co-worker mentioned how one of the clients had a drum set at the group home. I chimed in, "I play the drums! Why, I have a pair of drumsticks in my car!"

The response? "Of course you do."

I told you--my trunk is legendary, known to all.

I did not set out to have a magical car trunk--it just happened. It was magical. I didn't put anything purposefully in there--stuff of many sorts just ends up in there. It's not unusual that I have a change of clothes, work out clothes, an extra pair of shoes, my snow boots, a pair of gloves, an umbrella. I used to keep a dress suit in my trunk, just in case I was invited to do a news interview or go to an unscheduled meeting. That's not so weird, either. But, it is probably a wee bit unusual that I have two umbrellas, a folding chair, two towels, one blanket, a dozen "pee pee pads," a book stamps and a variety of feminine hygiene products that rival any drug store selection. I have a full-size welcome mat, chemical-laden hand warmers, water in a pouch, matches, toothpaste, deodorant and at least four pair of clean underwear. I have an emergency back pack, complete with a Swiss army knife, glow sticks and one of those parachute cord bracelets.

If the Apocalypse arrives, I'm your woman. You need to be in my car. Me and the cockroaches are going to roam the lands until the end of time. You'll have a fresh supply of water and a protein bar as the show starts.

I'm not well versed on Zombies, so you may have to help me with that.

There are some things that are not included in the magical trunk. Chocolate--there is no chocolate. Unless I get a frig in the trunk, I can't keep the chocolate from melting. There are no live animals, stuffed animals or animal crackers. I certainly don't have any make-up or pair of stilettos hanging out in there.

My wallet and my car keys are not in there. That's probably why I can never find them.

I've had two tents in there at one time, so I'm not so far removed from Hermie. I've never had an oil-painted portrait in the trunk but I've had many a weird art project stuffed in, so that's pretty close, too. I don't have an invisibility cloak but I do have a rain poncho. I don't have a magic wand but two drum sticks and an AM\FM weather radio have to be considered magical in some form.

There is one thing I hope that's in the car trunk that most likely wasn't in Hermione's bag.....

....a spare tire.

I've never seen one but I'm hoping it is in there.  Perhaps under the collapsing box filled with a mega-sized box of ramen noodles, somewhere near the pile of obsolete maps? Or, maybe near that box of work papers with my wallet on top.

Hey, THERE'S my wallet! I've been looking for that all day.

I should have known to look in there.