Snap, Crackle, Paw-p

Before I talk about Lucy going to the dog chiropractor, I thought I'd share too much information: Today, out of sheer desperation, I made a purchase on a particular website of which you bid.  I did a search, comparison-shopped, considered the shipping costs, scoured the descriptions.  While I didn't want it to come down to this, it became necessary because....

....I am down to my last twelve ultra-purple-box ob tampons.  One dozen.  Twelve lonely applicator-free bundles of love.  Twelve.

(Here is an old photo of me getting tampons in the mail, Lucy intrigued by the whole thing.  You can't have a gad day when tampons come in the mail.)

I thought I could make it until the end of my egg shooting career before running out of these out-of-production tampons of gold, but I was wrong--I'm still shooting those eggs like clockwork.

I'm not sure if that makes me gifted or cursed.  

The prices were quite ranged--the lowest price per box I saw was $9.99 (plus shipping); the highest price per box was $109.00 (free shipping).  Now, I love those tampons but I'm not paying $109 for them. If my math is right, that's $2.75 per tampon.  Most prices were in the $19.99 range, which is "down" from the average price of $41.00 a year ago.

I know, I know--it's ridiculous how much I know about these tampons.

I personally sold a box of them for $41.00 (I provided free shipping) two years ago.  Boy, do I wish I had those back now.

A Book de la Face peep alerted me that these beloved o.b.s were also available via Amazon.  Dang, I have no idea why I didn't think of that, as I'm always looking for something on there--in fact, I was looking at turntables this morning (don't ask, don't try to understand--all I'll say is I have 500 albums of which I can't listen to and it's starting to piss me off) and re-ordered some dog treats.  The prices were comparable on both sites, but somehow buying items on Amazon seems a bit less edgy than a bidding site.  (Thanks for nothing to FB friends who pointed out the "gently used" description on many items for sale on said bidding site.  I am so going to be mad if these tampons are gently used.)

As for Lucy, Bark of Poteidaia (the dog whose arm/shoulder have been twitching non-stop; see previous blog), I took her for two rounds of chiropractic care this week.  That, in itself, is probably not as unusual as you might think--after all, people spend obscene amounts of money on their pets.  Unfortunately, I have to drive her out of town (45 minutes one way) to get to the dog chiropractor.  (If any of you have a hankerin' to become a chiropractor, I suggest that you get certified in animal chiropractics. You'll make money hand over fist.)  Lucy loves going places, as long as people are involved.  When she got to the chiropractor, it took everything in me to keep her settled down, as she could see all the people but couldn't "get" to them.  She made these ridiculous noises, as if to say "p-p-p-p-uuuuulllllll-eeeeeezzzzze come here at pet meeeeeeeee." It is rather embarrassing and very loud.  Her tail never stops wagging.  "P-p-p-p-p-ullllleeeeezzzzze! I'm over heer-r-r-r-r-r-r-eeeee!" A ten minute wait seems more like three hours.

Enter the dog chiropractor.  Someone's tail stopped wagging.

BTW, if you've never seen a dog--or a horse--get a chiropractic exam or adjustment, you haven't lived.  Treat yourself: U-TWObe it.  (I refuse to plug web sites whenever possible. Hence, the weird spellings or vague references.)  

Lucy froze like a statue, as if she knew this meant serious business and if she didn't stop her nonsense, her owner's money would be for naught.  The chiropractor did her thing and then added a very non-committal "well, I'm not sure what to think."  Great.

She told me to keep Lucy as quiet as possible and see if things improved.  I envisioned myself trying to keep her from jumping on/off the couch, on/off people, on/off the stairs.  Oh boy.  If that didn't work, I'd have to try and restrain her in some form or fashion.  Even better.  She told me to come back at the end of the week.

On the way home, Lucy settled in and fell asleep.  She has NEVER in her ten years slept while riding in the car.  The wife can confirm this--NEVER.  I took this as a very good sign.  I figured it meant she finally had some relief and was exhausted from all that twitching.

When we got home, she was still twitching.  I felt a bit defeated but figured it would take time for the twitch to cease.  I gave her a massage and hoped for the best. I tried to keep her from jumping on/off anything, which meant I was one busy grrrrl--that dog is on the move, twitching or not.

The next morning, I took a gander and couldn't visibly see the twitch.  I put my hand on her arm and noticed that while she was twitching, it was much less frequent and much less in "strength." Dare I believe this chiropractic thing might be working?

I took her back yesterday, nary a twitch to be found.....in that arm.  Interestingly, her opposite arm had a slight twitch.  Go figure.  This was very intriguing to me.  The dog chiropractor did her thing, Lucy froze into position.  After an exam and adjustment, the dog chiro said, "let her be a dog.  Let's see how she does.  You don't have to come back unless something else comes up."

St. Francis and dog chiropractor, I bow to you: Lucy isn't twitching any more.

Now, it may just be that time was what was needed and the dog chiropractor had nothing to do with the ceasing of the twitches.  It may be something weird that ran its course and is now better. It may be that she had an injury that is now on the mend.  It may be that she has some neurological or other disorder than has come-and-go twitching.  It may be that she will start twitching again.  I don't know.  All I know is for this moment she is not twitching and I swear she looks relieved (as much as a dog can look relieved).

As for Freckles (I have to give her some time in the spot light, too--lest she be crabbier than she already is), I love that she sleeps with her blind eye open.  It's kinda creepy but amusing, none the less.  Here she is, tongue out, blind eye open, sound asleep.  Kinda looks possessed.

Today, we will go for a family car ride so we can enjoy my new tires, contemplate my purchase of tampons and buy a celebratory hamburger via the drive through.  It is time to celebrate the non-twitchy-ness of the moment. Life is short. Dog lives are shorter.  Golden arches for the dogs seems the perfect celebration.  The wife can get her "are-you-sure-there's-not cocaine-in-this-addictive-diet-Coke" and I'll get an ice cream cone.  Lucy will be wide awake and Freckles will be sound asleep once the burger is gone.

Maybe we'll get two burgers.  After all, we're celebrating.