Friday, June 15, 2012

Have baggage, will travel

Lest you think I'm ignoring you, let me assure you that you were on my mind the whole time I've been gone.

Okay, this is a lie. I've been on vacation and didn't take a computer with me.  I turned off my work computer so I wouldn't be tempted to sneak in a little work via someone else's computer.  I didn't take my kindle nor did I covet the wife's iPad.  I stuck to texting and FB'ing on my new phone.  You can't write a blog via a phone.  Well, I can't.  Maybe you can.  My 50 year old eyes make it improbable.  And so, I just ignored you, knowing that we could make up upon my return home.

We went on vacation to Cape Code, thanks to Dos Marias who made the trip possible.Talk about generous and gracious.  These two take it to a whole 'nother level.  It was a very blog-worthy trip, of which only a smidgen of which can be captured in such a venue.  Although there were many a time one of us exclaimed, "that is SO blog-worthy!" there is only so much I can report.  We were invited on the trip so Uno Maria and I could turn 50 in style.  Two other "turning 50" people were also guests of honor.  How can you not like turning 50 when you are celebrating it on Cape Cod thanks to the generosity of amazing friends?

Let's start with our trip to the airport, shan't we?  Chick-a-hello and DeeZee offered to drive us to the airport & park their car there, as they were going to be driving anyways; besides, we were on the same flight and it just made sense.  The wife and I were delighted, as this offer sure beat taking the 4 AM bus to O'Hare and would be a heck of a lot of fun to travel with others.  Even better, Chick-a-hello and DeeZee said they would literally come to our house and pick us up.  Woof! What a wonderful bonus and a great way to start the adventure.  This also meant my niece, the house/dog sitter, would not have to get up and drive us to the bus stop.

Like silent ninjas sneaking through the night, Chick-a and DeeZee pulled into the driveway without making a sound.  I was outside on the porch, trying to clean out Freckles' boogery eye before leaving.  (I didn't want to leave my niece with a dog-boogered-eye ball.)  They crept up the driveway and we talked in whispers--I was whispering because my niece was still asleep and the wife and I didn't want to wake her if at all possible.  All the lights were off (hence, I was on the porch with the dog) and it was silent in the abode.  I put Freckles in the house, threw a few treats at the dogs, grabbed my bag--a book bag sized back pack--and went to their car.  The wife grabbed her bag--a book bag sized back pack with wheels--and locked the door.  We plopped our bags into the trunk and were on our way, leaving the house at 4:25 AM.

We giggled and gossiped as we sped down the highway, all excited and giddy for our trip to the Cape.  We had a good laugh when we finally figured out that Chick-a and DeeZee didn't know we were whispering and tromping around in the dark because our niece was sleeping.  A good time was being had by all until I got a text from my brother-in-law:  "Did you take [niece's] luggage?"

I did not understand this text and read it out loud.  I pondered this and said, "I grabbed my back pack.  I didn't see her bag."  The wife added, "yeah, I put my bag in the trunk."  We decided to pull over and take a gander.  DeeZee opened the trunk and removed a big black bag.  The wife and I agreed that those were our  bags.  DeeZee agreed that the bags in the trunk were theirs.  Nope, didn't have the bag.  DeeZee put the big black bag back into the trunk and away we went.  I texted my brother-in-law, assuring him we did not have the bag.

It only took us a few minutes to put it together.  Here I thought the black bag was theirs and they thought the black bag was ours and so we were both agreeing that "that" was our luggage...when, in fact, the black bag belonged to NONE of us.  Chick-a-hello asked, "you mean you two only have those two tiny bags?" I acknowledged that we only had two small bags.  Chick-a looked like she was going to throw up: "I took the black bag! I thought it was yours! How can you only have those two tiny bags?"

And then, the hysteria set in.

I texted back and forth with my niece and my brother-in-law while the three of them argued about what we should do.  We were three-forths of the way to the airport and didn't have time to turn around and take the bag back to my niece.  I called my sister because the texting became too complicated.  Mind you, this is all going on between 5 and 6 AM, a time that no one should be arguing about luggage.  The three car mates wanted to take the bag to my sister's house, which would add 40 minutes to the trip, 20 minutes each way.  My sister indicated this was not necessary.  She and I were laughing, but the three car mates were not.  I asked my brother-in-law if he'd like to meet us at the giant mall off the tollway, thus we'd only have to wait 20 minutes instead of taking 40, but he indicated this wasn't necessary.  By this time Chick-a is driving 40 miles an hour on the tollway, demanding to take the bag somewhere.  I called my niece and asked her what was in the bag.....clothes, make up...and meds.  I asked many questions and figured out we had the exact same meds in the house and told her to take them as needed.  She wasn't crying, which I took as a good sign and thus figured she was telling the truth about not needing the bag.  If she were crying, I'd have taken definitive action to get her the bag. My sister and brother in law concurred that she didn't need her bag, urging us to just go to O'Hare and get them the bag after returning from the trip.  Problem solved: pick up the bag when the family came to my birthday party in a few weeks or sooner if any of us crossed paths before then.  I was satisfied, they were satisfied.

Although this should have been the end of the baggage trauma, it remained quite the ordeal. The wife continued to give me the stink eye and demanded we get off the road and take the bag somewhere.  Chick-a looked distraught and all three of them were problem solving for a problem that no longer needed to be solved. I have a simple family.  We are simple folk.  Although not having the bag would be a drag, it wouldn't be the end of the world.  My niece had all the things she could need by making due at our house or taking a quick jaunt to her house. Done.

May I just say that it was a REALLY long drive to the airport? My car mates were NOT letting this go.  Oh no no no.  I worked to convince them that it was all right--because it was all right.  I wasn't lying, I wasn't being nice, I wasn't making this up--it really was all right and quite humorous by this point.  It took everything in me to get them to just drive to the airport and not turn around.  The hell if I was gonna miss our flight because of some teen's underwear.

When we got to the airport parking lot, we got out, grabbed our luggage and stared at the bag, like that was going to help.  That's when we realized the wife and I were coming back a few days earlier than Chick-a-hello and DeeZee....meaning: we wouldn't be able to get the bag to my niece upon our return--she'd have to wait until after their return.

This set off a new round of hysteria.  

I took the meds out of the bag and figured we could mail them from Cape Cod if my niece really needed them.  I zipped the bag shut and turned to the triplets.  Their faces suggested my idea was not good enough. I was not sure if I was going to get these three ladies to leave the bag and go to the terminal.  It wasn't looking good, all this problem solving and fretting in remote parking.  I repeatedly assured them that it was all good, that my niece would be inconvenienced but fine, that my family is just fine with what was happening.

Oh, the angst of leaving that bag behind.

Thanks to the baby Jesus, we were FINALLY able to say adios to the car and move on to the terminal.  I promised them that this first adventure would be quite blog-worthy.  In the end, they believed me and tried diligently to let it go.  And so, we were off, leaving our baggage--literally and figuratively--behind.

The last words I said to my niece via phone before leaving Chicago?  "Hold out for money."

Her bag is still at O'Hare.  Hope it's having a good time.

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