Seven-Four-Eleven

Happy 8th anniversary, appendectomy!  How will I ever think of July 4th without thinking of my long lost appendix? What a great story that was.  I know you long-time blog readers are sick of hearing about my appendix, but it really was a spectacular event.  I mean, how many people do you know who go to Barnes & Noble to diagnose their own appendicitis?

I should have been a doctor.  Or, a barrista.

I was re-reading some of my old blog entries earlier today and have decided I was much funnier in the first several years than I am right now.  This may be a sign of age, of dementia, of constipation, of maturity, of immaturity, of lost brain cells, of hormones, of just about anything or just about nothing.  Hard to say.  I will work on getting back to my silly old self.  I feel like my old silly self, so I am flummoxed--why would I not sound like my old silly self if I am my old silly self?

I think it was the two years at the place of which we do not speak.  I think it ruined me just a tad more than I realized.  I am coming back with a vengeance, tho--so, stand back.

I think having seen the movie "Bridesmaids" last night might have jump started my funny bone.  I know, I know.  It is gross, sophomoric, mindless dribble....but, there are SO many awesome quotes and funny scenes that I really can't say anything bad about the movie.  It's not exactly brain surgery and it's certainly not going to win an Academy Award....but, I am going to see it again, that's how much it made me laugh. Even the wife was laughing and she doesn't usually find such movies very entertaining.  I thought the lady sitting next to me was going to die, as she was laughing so hard.  

I am sad to report that most people who see my "PAWS UP" license plates think it is related to the dogs, not to being Lady Gaga's little monster.  I don't know where all my other monsters are but they are not in this town.  Here's how it has been going:
Stranger: "Oh! What do you license plates me?" 
Me: "It's about Lady Gaga.  Paws up, little monster!" 
Stranger: Blank Stare.  "Um, I thought it was about dogs."  Walks away.
I thought this was a no-brainer.  Paws up!  Who the hell says Paws Up if they are not a little monster?

We are off to watch the fireworks for the first time in a bazillion years.  Well, maybe ten years.  Having dogs really does put a kibosh on firework watching.  Well, we've decided this year they will be just fine without us.  We are going to go to a local mall's parking lot to watch the fireworks from afar, shooting over the trees.  At least that is the plan.  We're not sure we'll actually be able to see anything over the trees, but if it sucks, we can have a good laugh about the year we sat in the mall parking lot.  It won't be as funny as all those years we went to our friends' house where they shot off illegal fireworks and almost killed us all and it won't be as funny as "Bridesmaids," but it will be funny enough.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Maybe some little monster will give me a "paws up" in the parking lot and will want to hear about my appendix.

Happy Fourth of July, little addiverse monsters!