Vow Wow

Dearest Minions, do not despair--I haven't forgotten you.  I've been busy practicing my ordain minister techniques. Well, okay--the only thing I've done so far besides read my letters of good standing and read the Latter Day Dude manifesto is bless my niece's graduation cake (quite to her horror, I am sure).  Just call me "Her Homo Holiness" and give me a break.  The baby Jesus and I have a lot to cover in a short amount of time.  Besides, I am supposed to be writing my vows, not a blog.  Who has time for mindless babbling when there are vows to be written?  I've stepped away from the farm so I can concentrate on appropriate (okay, semi-appropriate) behavior related to pending civil union this and that.  I'm kind of not doing much of anything because I'm not really sure if there is anything I should be doing.  The wife's straight of honor is doing all sorts of things.  She's making me nervous.  What does she know that I don't know?

For the record: we're not having a cake nor will we be wearing white nor will be having two bride statues on the non-cake.  I just thought the illustration was fun.  I'm thinking a tiara might be okay, tho.....

Congratulations are in order to Three Hawk and Argo Warrior Princess, as they have secured their civilization in the great state of Illinois.  They are the first people we actually know to get civilized.  Oh sure, we've heard about other people, but we didn't know them--we KNOW Three Hawk and Argo.  (I've know Argo since college, for cry eye. She's old news. ha!) Congratulations Squared to Argo, as she is now an ordained minister, too!!  Great minds think alike.  We can do two-for-one specials when we take our show on the road.  She can do the serious parts, I'll do the irreverent parts.  Or, she can talk and I can do the interpretive dancing.  Or, she can dress up as Xena and I'll dress up as Gabrielle and I will read from my scrolls while she beats the tar out of anyone who falls asleep during the ceremony.

Our friend Phlange-a-slam decided to join the ministry fun, too.  When she heard our master pastor person of choice might not be able to do our ceremony, she took matters into her own hands, got ordained and alerted us that she is on stand by in case Master Pastor can't say the words that legally need to be said.  How awesome is that? We have the best friends--I mean, how many of you can say your friend got ordained in case you need a minister at a moment's notice???

You know, the three of us should start our own church.........

Back to the vows.  I just have to say a few sincere words.  Nothing too profound.  Nothing lengthy. Just something personal and from the heart. I.can.do.it!  To make it interesting (and, in an effort to avoid the seriousness that lies before me), I've asked for vow-writing input via book de la face.  I guarantee I'm going to get some stellar suggestions.  Within minutes, I had a posting about what to wear:

Now, THAT'S hot!  If it doesn't work out for the civil union, I can always wear it when I'm serving in an ordained minister capacity.  I better pack up some extra AA batteries.  Don't want to run out of juice in the middle of ministering or civilizing......

I know you can't wait to hear about who performed the ceremony, to learn about what words were spoken and to see photos of me wearing this dress.  Only a few more days, boys and girls!

Until then, please know that Freckles Warrior Princess is out of control.  She continues to eat four times a day and is still waking us up at night when she needs a midnight snack.  I'm not kidding. She's super demanding.  And, loud. The dog who used to eat once every other day now eats four friggin' times a day. She looks different.  She IS different.  I think that  brush with death fixed her right up.  The dog is perky, spunky, happy.  It's ridiculous.  We don't know what to think.  At times, all we can do is laugh.

The wife's happy.  The dog's happy.  That means I'm happy.

I'll be happier if I get to wear that dress.....I wonder if the lights blink? And, will my red vegan gym shoes clash?
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