Misery Loves Company

The wife says to me, "I thought you wrote a new blog."  I respond, "I did."  She politely informs me that there is no new blog post. GASP! Wherever has it gone? 

Happy Spring! I don't know about you, but I'm sure happy to see leaves on trees, longer days and the annual "putting away the snow pants" ritual completed. I love when the leaves suddenly pop open and everything is green--it's like, when did this happen? POW POW! GREEN! I'm serious--the leaves popped out within the last 15 minutes. Our lawn is looking good, no thanks to me. I haven't gotten around to weeding or edging, the mulch is everywhere but on the flowerbeds and I lack a lot in the mowing department. At least all the perennial things are looking good, as illustrated in the photos of our trees and early-blooming plants.  Love me some bleeding hearts and blossoming cherry trees.  I'm hoping this weekend will bring nice enough weather so I can edge and weed. Maybe I will secretly hide in the yard while doing this, just to see what happens.....because......

I've blogged about the wife.
I've blogged about the dog.
I shall now blog about the wife as related to the dog.
Or, maybe I will blog about the wife as related to the dog.

There is something REALLY weird going on in the Addiverse.

As you know, two weeks ago, I left the wife and dog behind to join some friends for fun....by mid-day, the dog was back to shooting rounds of bloody diarrhea and the wife was overcome with pain, reduced to tears. Once I returned home, the pooping stopped and the wife was able to relax.

And, as you know, a week ago, I left the wife and dog behind for the day....by mid-day, the dog was back to repeated bouts of diarrhea and the wife was once again in overwhelming pain and shedding more tears. Both look like death warmed over. Once again, I came home, the pooping stopped and the wife was able to go to bed.

Yesterday, when the wife was leaving after lunch to returning to work, the dog freaked out--jumping around, frantic, just about throwing herself at the wife.  Today, the dog peed on the rug.

This is not typical warrior princess behavior. What on earth is going on in the Addiverse?

I am beginning to think this is not an Addisonian crisis, but rather a "worried about the wife canine conundrum." I think the two seemingly separate issues have become inexplicably tied to each other. Which came first is like asking the chicken/egg question.

These two give the saying, "I feel your pain" a whole new meaning.  The dog and the wife: misery loves company.

See why I want to secretly hide in the yard this weekend? I'll tell the wife I'm going somewhere (hmmmmm, where to say?), go out the door as if I am really going somewhere, and then I will be "gone" but not really gone. I'll pretend like I'm going out of town and go to Wally World and the garden instead. Then, I will wait, wait, wait....see if any poop starts shooting out or crying increases. This might be genius!

Here's a photo of Freckles howling through the screen door, Lucy in the background, wondering what the heck is going on.

Freckles has always been a guard dog. Over the years, she has been especially loyal to the wife. Whether it be guarding after the wife's surgery in 2008 or guarding after a long, painful day, Frecks is always at the ready. It really isn't too surprising that the dog would sense and be affected by the wife's pain. Freckles "knows." Well, as much as a dog can "know" anything.

I'm not quite sure it is the dog that is affected by the wife--it may be the other way around. Perhaps it is a two-way street, each having quite the effect on the other. They truly do understand each is in pain.  The chicken and the egg arrived at the same time.

I try to focus on some form of normalcy but none is to be had these days. We no longer have normal conversations in the Addiverse. We spend time talking about dog poop or pain. We spend time looking at poop, wondering about poop, asking each other if we remember how the poop used to be. We spend time contemplating vomit: Freckles threw up her dinner tonight right after eating it--is this a symptom of a current medical crisis? Is this just because she's a pig and has always done this since we got her? Is this a long-standing symptom that we've overlooked for 10 years? If you have a symptom for ten years, does it really matter? We talk about whether or not Freckles should take her Benadryl, if I've killed her by giving her Benadryl over the years. We don't speak aloud of how Freckles is or isn't doing, as each time we whisper words of joy, she gets sick again. We wonder if she is in pain.  We then turn to the wife. We talk about the wife's efforts to function while in such pain. We talk about the merit of pain pills, of taking or not taking pain pills, of ways to feel better for a minute or two, of "making it" without ibuprofen 'til the day of surgery, of me taking pain pills.  We then talk about how we need to not focus on poop, illness, pain.  We need to focus on what we want, what will need, what we have just for the asking.  We need to be thankful the poop is fine before the poop literally looks fine.  We need to talk about the weather or the most recent episode of Modern Family or enjoying the company of friends or about getting a new tattoo for the civil union. (I just threw that one in there.  There really isn't any talk of this.  Although.....)

The wife has little worry dolls sitting on the kitchen table, one for each of us. "We" lay on the little alter, waiting for the worry to seep away. So far, the dolls look no worse for the wear and we look like a truck ran over us.

She needs to get some bigger worry dolls.

Actually, I need "I feel helpless" dolls.  All I can do is be nice, be understanding and try to mow the lawn the way the wife would like it mowed.

And so, we play the waiting game, waiting for the wife's day of surgery to arrive, waiting for prolonged pooping success by the dog, waiting for me to go out of town, waiting for the pain meds to kick in.  We forget what we want to talk about and worry about things we are trying to let go.  Thankfully, the wife has announced she wants to buy an iPad before the surgery so she has something to do while recuperating.  This is music to my ears.  Something happy for her on which to focus.

I know that once the wife's surgery is successfully completed, the dog will rebound and the wife will be delightful.  The relief will probably be felt across the nation.  Gas prices will fall, world peace will reign, responses for the civil union will pour in and every dog will have its day.

The day for surgery can't come soon enough for me...and, I'm not the one in pain.  Hit the road, misery-- you make for lousy company.