Voting: It's Snot Funny

I rely on Feedblitz to email me my posts (yeah, i read my own blog. Pathetic, isn't it?). I didn't receive my last two entries...the ones about the jury duty antics & the new furnace. I would HATE you to miss one billionth of a second of the Addiverse, so, if you too rely on Feedblitz, please go to the blog, directly to the blog. Of course, if there is something wrong with Feedblitz, you won't be reading this, either.

I don't have much profundity today because I have a cold and thus my brain cells are filled with snot, which makes it hard to think. The watery eyes make it hard to see the screen and taking time to hack all those fur balls distracts me from staying on task. I feel great, though--just sound terrible. I have gone through a gallon of Germ-X, so I am doing my civic duty in keeping my germs to myself.

Speaking of civic duty, have I ever posted this illustration before? It makes me laugh every time I look at it. I suppose I shouldn't be laughing, considering the outcome of this week's elections. Republicans, I bow to you. Good luck with fixing everything. My words of wisdom to you are: "be careful for what you ask." They are now the proud owner of all those problems they've been bitching about.

Our neighbor is Republican--gasp! we live in a mixed neighborhood--so she's gloating. I will gladly taunt her when the Republicans can't do any better (and, they can't--people, we need to work together!). Ms. Gay Republican (almost an oxymoron, isn't it?) has a liberal, Democrat of a partner. As you can imagine, Ms. Gay Dem is not entertained by Ms. Gay Rep. (a mixed marriage in a mixed neighborhood--the horror!) and has made it clear to this partner that when we as gay people lose our basic rights--which Ms. Gay Dem is sure will happen with the onslaught of Righties--we will all remind her that she voted for this and did this to "us."

Could get mighty entertaining in our neck of the woods.

Remember: "I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming."

I wish I could say I got all excited and fired up about this election, but I didn't. Maybe it is because I have a cold. Maybe it's because I knew it the country would swing way right no matter what I voted. Maybe I just got sick and tired of all those robo-mated phone calls we got inundated with every night. No matter. I didn't get passionate about much of anything with this time around.

I did have an unsettling "voting experience" where my little voter card thingy was gone by the time I got at the polling place to vote. That made me really nervous--who the hell voted for me before I got there? I was able to vote provisionally. The experience went like this:

Me: Hand driver's license to the Electioneer.

Crusty old Electioneer #1 (to Crusty old Electioneer #2): "I dunno where her card is. She is on this list and is at the right polling place." (Electioneer points to the book where everyone's voting doohickey is supposed to be.)

Crusty old Electioneer #2 (to me): "Are you at the right polling place?" (Studies my driver's license.)

Me: (Politely point after snorting a fur ball.) "My name is right there, at the top of your list." (It pays to have a last name with the letter "A." I am always at the top of every list. I can easily see my name and address. Score!)

Crusty old Electioneer #3: (eyeballing my license, then eyeballing the list, then eyeballing me) "Yes, there she is."

Crusty old Electioneer #1: "Well, her card isn't here. Have you already voted?"

A big groan is heard from the line behind me. I am holding up traffic.

Me: "No, I haven't voted yet." (In the background a cell phone rings. Thankfully, it is not mine.)

Crusty old Electioneer #2: (yelling) "NO CELL PHONES AT THE POLLING PLACE! TURN OFF THAT CELL PHONE! SOMEONE'S PHONE IS RINGING!"

Crusty old Electioneer #3: "I don't know what to do. What do we do?"

More groans.

Crusty old Electioneer #4: (looking very annoyed and disgusted) "COME OVER HERE."

I shuffle toward the end of the table.

Crusty old Electioneer #4: "Have you already voted?"

I want to say something smarty pants like, "Well, we DO live in the state where the motto is vote early and vote often," but I politely answer, "No."

I also want to ask what the hell happened to my little voter doohickey thing but decide to remain mute. I sneeze on Electioneer #4.

Crusty old Electioneer #4: (growls.) "FILL THIS OUT."

And, so I did. I am not sure they gave me a "real" ballot, but they did hand me something, so I am hopeful that my non-tea party-based ballot did indeed count for something.

It is my hope that we know who the governor of Illinois is going to be by the end of my cold......

.....knowing the ways of Illinois politics, we probably won't know until the end of Cold and Flu season.

Snotty? Yes. I vote someone hand me a Kleenex.
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