"Just Another Reason to Hate the Vikings Even More"

I didn't write that title. The wife did. That's what she said when I asked her about what I should title this blog entry. I told her I was going to write about Randy Moss returning to the Vikings, home of that guy whose last name starts with an "F."


Those of you who know the wife--the ultimate, obsessed, consumed Packer Backer who bleeds green and gold, a Cheddar head through and through, a woman who talks about "her" team in "we" and "our," a fan whose blood pressure rises just at the mention of the number four--are not surprised by her title suggestion.

"Bitter--table for one." That's the wife.

The wife's ultimate sporting nightmare is now underway. For those of you who actually have lives and aren't paying attention to the world of football (American football, not soccer football--don't even toy with me), please know that Randy Moss has been traded back to the Vikings. His illustrious (and I use that term loosely) career started in purple and gold and looks like it will end in purple and god (see mooning photo here to refresh your memory of MIP--Moss in Purple).

I suppose we could look at this like my return to my old job. I was there, I left, I returned there. Moss was there, he left, he returned. Not such a bad thing in itself....unless you are a Packer Fan.

The wife laments "he has always been a thorn in 'our' side."

This photo of our boyfriend number four is basically what the wife looks like when she starts talking about the Packers these days. I am waiting for her to hyperventilate and pass out. She is so distracted that she constantly mutters about this ultimate nightmare, unable to think of anything else besides this travesty.

"He OWNS the Packers!" she cries.

When I mention that this is ONLY a game, she gives me this incredulous, blank stare.

I thought it was bad the other night when the Packers lost to the Bears on Monday Night football. The wife was so distraught that she couldn't sleep. "EIGHTEEN PENALTIES!" she would growl. "EIGHTEEN PENALTIES!" She had to go sleep on the couch she was so upset. She radiated angst.

But, this. THIS is so much worse. I think I might have to stage an intervention.

Thankfully, the wife will be surrounded by supportive, loving Packer fans during this Sunday's Packer game. I may have to pay Argo Warrior Princess and Three Hawk therapy fees for inviting us over to watch the game.

As I type this, there is muttering in the distance.... something about bad behavior being rewarded, then a final:

"He and Favre: two selfish divas! They deserve one and other."

Yup. "Bitter--table of one. Your table is ready."