WWMD?

It's Friday. I find myself asking, "What would Madonna do?"

Here's what's going on in my head at this very moment. Picture me sitting at my desk, drinking DD coffee, arguing with myself:

Addi One: "Lady Gaga tickets go on sale today."

Addi-Tude: "Really? I'd love to see Lady Gaga. What a performance that would be!"

One: "I know! And, in Milwaukee to boot. A great venue, less traffic, friendlier drivers, same driving time as Chicago."

Tude: "Pre-sale tickets are all over the 'Net. Real sales start today at 10 AM. Reasonable prices, if you compare to a Madonna concert."

One: "Don't EVER compare anything to a Madonna Concert."

Tude: "True dat."

One: "I was on last night, looking at tickets. MJagger's already got her ticket, so I need to jump on this. It's just...it's just that....."

Tude: "Just what?"

One: "Well, there's those new appliances. And, the new floor will be put in within a few weeks. I won't even mention wanting new glasses or my need to visit the dentist."

TUDE: "OH.MY.GOD!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU?"

One: "Huh?"

TUDE: "Where is this ridiculous thinking coming from? You only live once! You're not getting any younger, you know. For god's sake, you don't need glasses or teeth! You need Gaga!"

One: "Well, I'd like to keep my teeth."

TUDE: "You are a concert whore. This is no time to be thinking about teeth or glasses."

One: "I won't be able to see Lady Gaga without glasses."

TUDE: "Oh, for god's sake, don't be a drama queen. You have plenty of old glasses. Get floor tickets and you'll see her just fine. Take those bird watching binoculars with you. Stop being wimpy and reasonable!"

One: "Well, Dave Ramsey & Suze Orman would say I shouldn't even think about going unless I can pay outright for the tickets....and, we're getting mulch this weekend. Mulch is expensive. What about all those birthdays and graduations coming up?"

TUDE: "What kind of abundance thinking is this? Forget WWMD--think WWUD--what would Unity do? They would tell you to focus on abundance and prosperity. Stop this don't-have-enough-thinking. Do I have to call Master Pastor Reiki to slap you into shape? What do Dave and Suze know? They're not concert whores. They don't get it. GAGA!"

One: "Hmmmm. I like the abundance-thinking."

TUDE: "Either buy tickets or, in the words of the Peas, Take your broke ass home!"

One: "Well, my car IS almost paid off. The wife has made a reasonable appliance payment plan for me. MJagger is really fun at concerts. My teeth can wait a few more months.....I'll floss more.

TUDE: "And, look at how much you are now saving for retirement! I'm so proud of you. Those tires will be paid off in no time. Come on--what would Madonna do?"

One: "I forgot about the tires.....!"

TUDE: "STOP IT! WHAT WOULD MADONNA DO?

One: "She'd Gaga."

TUDE: "EXACTLY!"

One: "Well, she's a zillionaire."

TUDE: "Piss on that! Abundance! Prosperity! Positive thinking! Don't think Madonna--DO as Madonna!"

One: "Has anyone seen my credit card?"

TUDE: "SCORE!"

One: "Maybe if I leave it up to the Universe.... I'll call a few time and get tickets. If I can get them for 'real' prices and I can get through, it will be a sign from the Universe that I should go."

TUDE: "SCORE SQUARED! The Universe wants you happy."

One: "Gaga!"

TUDE: "That's the Addi Warrior Princess I know and love. Madonna would be so proud! The Universe is all a-glow for you."

One: "I embrace my inner concert-whore-ness. Gaga gaga gaga!"

TUDE: "You get the tickets, Gaga will bring the fun."

One: "We'll see what 10 A.M. brings....."

TUDE: "It's gonna bring you sweet Gaga tickets. And, just you watch. The Universe is going to bring you the means to pay for it with ease. You have unlimited abundance. The Universe gets pissy when you don't trust in it. Trust me! Your teeth are fine. Your eye site is fine. The appliances are fine."

One: "That's why I love you."

TUDE: "I won't tell you that I love you; Kiss or hug you; Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin; I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning..."

One: "Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm; Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm; Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance; Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance!"

TUDE: "Rah-rah-ah-ah-ahhhhh! muhhh muhh muh ma muhh! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!"

One: "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! PEAS! MADONNA! GAGA!"

TUDE: "Gaga, indeed--We are the crowd, we're c-comin' out; Got my flash on, it's true; Need that picture of you; It so magical, we'd be so fantastical!"

Teeth? What teeth? :-)