Hasta La Vista, Asswipe 2009

Greetings, holiday goers. I trust you had a wonderful holiday, safe and sound, full of commercialism and travel. The wife and I survived quite nicely, despite the ice storm start. We made it to/from the Cheddarlands two times in four days and the family was able to get to us on Christmas Day without incident. (Going home, so I hear, was a bit dicey, but they did get home and all is well.)

BTW, have you ever read the words to Auld Lang Syne? Woof. Now, that's a strange song. You really should google the lyrics. Make sure to read the lyrics from our era, not the original lyrics of the 1700's.

I started to look back at the year via the blog, then decided I really didn't want to read about not going to Mexico, not being successfully "saved," not losing the new-found weight, not talking about the place of which I do not speak. Actually, I am quite relieved to say adios to 2009. In fact, I have an urge to scream, "DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU IN THE ASS on your way out, 2009." I am so happy about 2010 I want to weep.

Don't get me wrong--there were wonderful, fabulous, awesome things that happened in 2009.

I will say that spending my morning in a pile of snow was the perfect ending for this year. Summed it up just fine. The photo doesn't do justice to how stuck I was. That's all ice under there and I managed to dig quite the rut with my front wheel drive. The ice was shoved under the entire front of my car.

....I was on the way to see my Beloved Lady Chiropractor one last time this year and was unable to stop as I slid down the hill to the driveway. I left the car and walked to the appointment, only to find out My Beloved Lady Chiropractor wasn't there!!!!! I was distraught. I still got my adjustment, just not from her. Sigh. Another sad moment on the last day of the year.

For blogging purposes (and, as means of cheap therapy), I decided I would distract myself by reflecting on my ever-so-favorite New Year's Eve party, called "No Shoes, No Booze" of 1995 (or, do you say 1996, as that is the year it was becoming?) instead of reflecting on 2009. The wife feels otherwise about this blessed event, as she was not entertained about me throwing a bowling ball off the deck, so she may rather think about 2009. To each their own.

I have written about No Shoes, No Booze party before but I've never featured photos, so I have to write about it again. I scanned this puppies in quickly while no one was looking at the place of which I do not speak. (I will deny everything.) I did get kinda freaked out when thinking about how long ago it was we had this party, but I'm over it now.

The concept was simple: you had to take your shoes off and there was no alcohol at the party. Lest you think it was a lame bust, I assure you we had plenty of party goers, as evidenced by the pile of shoes displayed at the front door. I tend to think the highlight of the party was me wrapping my bowling ball in tin foil and then launching it off the back porch. I did it to pretend we had our own New Year's ball dropping, like they do in Times Square. Okay, okay--I admit that was a stupid thing to do--it's hard to safely shot put a 14 pound bowling ball over one's head and into the night and I think I ripped about 12 different muscles, but it sure looked cool and was mighty fun and it's something no one will forget.

There will be no bowling ball launch this year.

We will be ringing in the new year with Cheeseball neighbor, her gaywad gal pal and Brown Dog, plus their closest 5000 friends. They are featuring a "no shoes" theme, but I'm pretty sure there will be alcohol.

....We don't have to drive, so I won't be stuck in any snow banks as the new year arrives. Hasta La Vista, 2009. Happy New Year, beloved Addiverse visitors!