May...or...may not

this photo technically has nothing to do with this blog entry except that it illustrates how I felt after today's episode. There's nothing sadder than a little piece of cake that gets dropped on the ground. I dropped it last week when serving cake during a recent work-related party. If you are wondering: no, I didn't eat it.

oh.
my.
god.

I missed a scheduled one-on-one meeting with the mayor yesterday.

I believe it is not a good idea for me to blow off the mayor when it comes to my employment.

The meeting was set up in regards to things of which I do not speak (read: my job and the fate of something I supervisor, of which I also do not speak). It was an important meeting, not only because it was with a major political figure but also because he might have the ket to my fate as both a boss and employer.

I had been very excited about the meeting, yipping about it for weeks. Even Cheeseball Neighbor and ChiSky Grrrrl (who will soon have a new nickname) knew about it. The appointment was set for noon. It was in my hand-written calendar book, it was in my computer calendar, it was in my brain. I wondered if I'd have to take the Mayor out for lunch as the meeting was at lunch time. I mused about taking him to the county fair as that's big news where he's from. I yipped about it to the wife. I thought about what I was going to wear--it's hot, can I wear sandals? Do I have to wear my suit? I hope not cuz they don't fit. Do you think he cares if my Mickey Mouse tattoo hangs out of my capris? I settled on casual but not too casual, complete with sandals and Mickey Mouse indeed peeking. I went to work as usual, checked my calendar one last time, and went on with my day.

So, I'm at one of my sites, covering for vacationing staff when the CEO calls and asks if I need a ride to see the Mayor. I assure her I do not, as I'm going to go early to see one of my sites and that I'll go from there. The Marketing guy (who set up the appointment) calls me and asks me if I want a ride to see the Mayor; I again reiterate I don't need a ride but thanks, anyways.

I didn't think twice about them calling.

I finish what I'm doing, get in the car, and start heading to my site. It's only 10 AM, so I know I have plenty of time to visit my site and then meet with His Honor. I fluff my hair, turn on my Rascal Flatts CD, sing happily along with the music. That's when I hear my phone ring. I look at the display--it's the CEO. I turn down the music and shut my windows so I can hear her.

"Hello!" I answer cheerfully. After all, I'm off to see the Mayor and do great things for my program. It's a happy day.

"Where are you?" she asks.

Although I find this to be a weird question, I jauntily answer, "I'm in the car, on the way to my site and then to see the Mayor."

Silence.

"What time is the meeting?" she asks.

"Noon!" I exclaim.

Silence. Long, long silence. So long that I'm afraid we've been disconnected.

She finally speaks. "The meeting was at 9 A.M."

I am so stunned I have to pull over. I start to babble, incredulous. "You're kidding, right? You're kidding? No, you wouldn't kid about something like that. You're kidding?"

More silence. Painful, painful, horrible silence. I want to vomit. She is obviously not kidding.

I assure her I have it written down in my book and on my computer. I ramble on incoherently when the Marketing Guy (who obviously is standing right there) chirps in, "the meeting was at 9 AM." As he is the one who set it up, chances are he's right.

I try profusely not to cry.

I. am. mortified.

How can this be?

She tells me to come to the main office so we can talk about this. She asks if I have any free time today. I mutter out, "Well, I do now!"

Thankfully, she finds this to be a funny comment. I have no idea why, because it's really not funny that I have free time now that I've missed my meeting with the Mayor.

Suffice it to say, I turned my car around and started to head toward the main office. On the way, I run in to my office so I can read the email Marketing Guy sent me way back when. Clear as day, black and white, the email says that my meeting with the Mayor is on August 12........at 9 A.M.

Where I got noon is beyond me.

Of course, this means.....I panic--where the hell am I supposed to be at Noon? I figure I must have a noon appointment and now not only have I missed my meeting with the Mayor, I am about to miss another meeting of unknown origin.

This is when I burst into tears.

Crying, as everyone knows, is oh-so helpful.

I get to the Main Office and run right into the HR Lady. She takes one look at me and her jaw drops. I step into her office and again burst into tears. No one has ever seen me in any mood but perky and positive. No one has seen me cry at work, for Pete's sake. Here I am sobbing. I explain what has happened, adding that "In a week, this is really going to be funny, but it's not funny right now." I cannot gain my composure. My crying is way out of proportion to the situation. I begin to think peri-menopause has decided to rear it's ugly head. Note to self: call physician and get a damned physical scheduled.

The CEO walks in. This makes me cry more. I slob out, "I so don't want to be crying in front of you," leave and go to the bathroom. I am so mad at myself I could just spit. Now, not only did I miss my meeting with the Mayor, I am now crying hysterically and don't know why. I feel so stupid I want to just lay down on the gross bathroom floor and never get up.

I am embarrassed to say that it took me quite some time to gain my composure.

When I get out of the bathroom, I drag my sorry ass self into the CEO's office. I explain that I know saying I'm sorry won't change anything but I am really sorry and assure her I do not know what happened. I tell her I feel so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She stares at me for what seems like an eternity and then barks out, "If anyone ever tells you you are stupid, that's fine. Just reply back to them: I may be stupid but I can learn. I can become smart. You can't learn how to be pretty."

That's funny, especially in consideration to the situation.

It appears I am forgiven, although I have not exactly figured out what I am going to do about the Mayor. I may...or may not have to do anything. I didn't ask about the Mayor as I didn't want to start crying again. I figure I can ask about him on the next business day. Until then, I am going to learn how not to be stupid.....

....that, and check my calendar. Check it over and over and over.....

....and, get a doctor's appointment. I am soooo not spending the next five years crying at work or anywhere else. (please don't let me turn in to Kathy Bates' character in Fried Green Tomatos:
Evelyn (Kathy): Towanda! Right of Wrong, Queen Beyond Compare! Ninny: How many of them hormones you takin', honey? Towanda!")

This morning, it IS really a little bit funny that I missed a meeting with the Mayor, even though I remain mortified. I am SOOOO going to be the butt of all jokes at our next Executive-type meeting and I will SOOOOOO deserve it. I'm just going to focus on not being stupid and on looking pretty.
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