Turning Japanese 2009

(With Bonus Report from Daytona D)

THEY'RE BACK!

The bane of my existence, the scurge of my summer....the Japanese Beetle is creeping back into the Addiverse. I saw the first few most-hated creatures on the ferns last night. My blood pressure went up so high my eye balls swelled when I saw that first beetle. I. HATE. THEM. Exasperation overload. They, as far as bugs go, are pretty and don't bite and don't seem to get in the house. It's what they do to our poor foilage every year that makes me crazy. C.R.A.Z.Y. Certifiably crazy..

Bug bags, schmug bags--forget the bag-a beetle traps....

....I am ARMED and DANGEROUS this year!

Screw the environment, I am fighting back. A quick tour of the Internet and a jaunt down the bug aisle at Homo Depot armed me with the chemicals I need to win this war. Sevin! Well, maybe not win the war--improve the odds the tree might live, I'm guessing.

Of course, bug spray tends to be uber-poisonous, and I probably shouldn't be messing with anything poisonous, but I am one desperate woman and I can't take those bugs any more. I am all about chemicals. Poison the bastards, I say! I'll spray them one by one if I have to.....

Yesterday, when applying the first round of Sevin, I was thinking that spraying leaves above my head without having a mask or gloves on was probably a bad idea. It wasn't windy out, so I figured it probably wouldn't kill me. At least I wasn't on a ladder or anything. I didn't smell anything wafting toward me and my glasses weren't getting spritzed with anything, so I took that as a good sign. It was only later when I was in bed, I started to freak myself out about the sinus headache that was developing. It was only a matter of seconds before I went from a normal sinus headache to "oh my god, I've poisoned my mucous membranes with Sevin!"

I think I'll wear a mask next time.

I'm also doing the "pick-one-at-a-time-off-the ferns-drop-them-in-the-soapy-water" method, but that's only until the masses arrive. So far, I've only had to pick five beetles off, as there have only been five Japanese beetles in the Addiverse. Don't even tease me that maybe this year they will go somewhere else. I hear them smacking their lips in anticipation of devouring our flowering cherry tree. I will not be able use the pick-one-method once the entire bug party arrives. Remember: last year, we were changing the beetle bag at least once a day. Overflowing, crawling, swarming, swimming on each other. Makes me want to vomit. THAT'S a bug party.

This has become an annual event. I promise there will be photos to be had regarding "Turning Japanese 2009."
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Bonus material: Daytona D has struck again, this time post-race. Picture three crabby teenage girls and one sun burnt husband on a road trip when reading this. Upon reflection, I don't know which would be worse: the level of Nascar love or the level of hormones in that car.

Daytona D writes: "How about a quick Daytona quiz?

Question: Why should you not pick up thing in the ocean with your toes?
Answer: Because they might be alive!

Middle Child and Eldest Daughter were out on the sand bar, and of course you can't see the bottom of the ocean. ED stepped on what felt like a cool shell but couldn't quite get it with her toes, so MC tried. When MC picked it up, it was a live Hermit Crab. I didn't hear them scream from the beach or anything, but the crab did not make it to shore.

Question: If a NASCAR race takes 3.5 hours to run, how long does it take to get back to the hotel?Answer: the same amount of time it took for the race - or about 3 times longer than it took to get there--3.5 hours

Yep, we went to the Daytona 400 last night. We arrived early enough for Captain Morgan, not early enough for ED and way too early for the rest of us. All things considered it was an ok race. There was a huge crash at the end which took out Kyle Bush-who was in the lead. It is amazing how many fans don't like Kyle. The heat was not as bad as it could have been, since it was a night race. We would have been baked lobsters during the day. We sat in the very top row. According to Captain, they are the best seats in the house.

Question: Who is the crabbiest child in our family at 3:00am? Answer: Who knows, they aren't speaking to each other by then!

Yep, that is the time we got back to the room, and the bed wars began. It was kind of comical. Youngest child went to bed. ED stood there, and MC sat in a chair. I had had enough and went to bed. Captain Morgan came in the room and thought they were nuts and told them no switching spots, go to bed. Amazingly, they did and no one got hurt. Of course, they are still sleeping and the feud will continue today, I am sure.

Question: Who was the first one to become a lobster in our family? Answer: Captain Morgan!

Yes, “Mr. Man” doesn't need sun screen. He'll also tell you it doesn't hurt; but, I have to help him keep lotioning his back.

Thanks for taking my little Daytona quiz. We are going back to the track today. Captain and ED are going to get to ride in a race car. They aren't doing driving experiences today. Tomorrow it's off to Alabama. What's in Alabama you say? I don't know, I'll have to let you know."

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