Say What?

I couldn't fall asleep last night. You know why? Because I kept hearing Michael Jackson singing, "You're a vegetable." Seriously. You try going to sleep with "You're a Vegetable" circling in your brain.

Don't think MJ is signing those words in that wanna/gotta be startin' something song? I have the album with lyrics to prove it. I went down in the basement and dug out the album to check what the hell he was singing. Sure sounded like he was saying vegetable, but you never know.....

You're A Vegetable, You're A Vegetable
Still They Hate You, You're A Vegetable
You're Just A Buffet, You're A Vegetable
They Eat Off Of You, You're A Vegetable

Why he is singing about being a vegetable is not included in the liner notes. Of course, the vegetable reference is in the same song as the "Mama-se, mama-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa" babbling, so it all makes perfect sense. Or not.

Yesterday was a big beetle banner day. A Japanese Beetle bounced off my nose. No kidding. You know what this means? This. Means. War! (This morning, a bird pooped on my head when we were walking and I ran over a cardinal while driving to meet MJagger. Nature is trying to tell me something. What, I am not sure.) The beetles are here in droves--you can see clouds of them flitting around the tops of trees. Picking them off one by one is officially over. There are just too many. If the wind dies down, I'll be breaking out the poison. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Mama-se, mama-sa, ma-ma-kill-the-bug.

Harry Potter Movie Time! I am stoked, although I am not a big fan of Book Six; in fact, my dislike was strong enough that I gave the book away to a friend. I'll get over it and will be going to see HP during the first week it's out. I am all about Book Seven. You go, Dumbledor!

Welcome, Culver Gryffendor, GSI, to the Addiverse! In honor of the HP movie and in great effort to pay proper homage to a dear friend (and blog reader!), I want to officially introduce you to "Culver Gryffendor, GSI." This wonderful friend, whom I'll cll CGg for purposes of this blog, is spectacular enough to rate her own logo. Wow! All family & friends in the Addiverse get nick names--but, only a very few every get some form of visual representation, so I hope she feels very special, indeed. (I also hope she is not singing that friggin' vegetable song.) Nick names are the best because they always have such meaning behind them for me--most names make sense in context of the person's relation to the Addiverse: "Cheeseball Neighbor" is labeled such b/c she lives next door and was the host of the New Year's Eve Cheeseball Attack; "Grand Canyon Black Toes (aka GCBT)" earned his nick name from a trek down and up the trails at the Grand Canyon (I hope his toe nails have grown back by now). As for Culver? Suffice it to say it encompasses her work, street location, birth place, some semblance of her last name and her passion for reading (although I do not know that she would be a HP fan; rather, she is an avid reader and JK Rowling's books certainly fall on many a reader's list of consumed books. If I could have Incorporated a cook book title or chef, that would have been the ultimate nick name. Sigh.)

While out to dinner with CGg last week (eating orgasmic Mexican food, I might add), we were talking about song lyrics and how stupid (naive?) we were as kids (and possibly as adults) in relation to such lyrics. This was triggered for me when I was walking on Wednesday night and was listening to AC/DC singing "let me put my love it to you, babe." Wait a minute--let me put my love into you babe, let me cut your cake with my knife?" Talk about almost walking into a parked car. It only took me 47 years to realize what the hell this guy was singing.

Although I am a huge music whore, I don't pay much attention to lyrics--I hear the beat and melody and sing along but it's about the gestalt, if you will, of the musical experience, not just the words (thank god or I'd NEVER be able to listen to even one Shania Twain song). The words are mindless dribble that I don't even consider on most occasions until I am shocked into realizing what the hell I've just been singing. CGg, the wife and I had some pretty good laughs about how we totally missed all those sexual connotations in the music of our childhood. Even our most beloved movies (read: Grease) went way above our head. Yeah, Grease is the word, all right. Rod Stewart's spreading her wings, Starland Vocal Band is getting some Afternoon Delight, the Rolling Stones make a dead man you-know-what, AC/DC's giving the dog a bone (THOSE are some vulgar lyrics!), we won't even talk about what Queen is doing. (Side note: how the hell did we miss why Queen was named Queen? Not once in 40-some years did I ever think about that. Duh!)

At least I knew what "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" was about.

Today's lyrics seem so obliviously, overtly vulgar--but, I don't think the nine year old boy who is singing about someone licking his lollipop knows exactly what he's saying.....and so, the trend continues.

By the way, for a good laugh after reading this blog (I should say, if you need ANOTHER good laugh after reading this blog), remember: if this isn't the best song ever, I'll fight you:
http://www.youtube.com/afternoondelightanchorman

Lyrics in general are always hilarious when misunderstood. The Spatzies thought, "When Smoky Sings," was "When You Smoke Your Cigs." That's pretty funny. I thought Christopher Cross was singing "all-ey boo-la" but he was really singing, "I'll live alone." I could go on for days with this....and, will glady print any of your misunderstood lyrics if you send them to me. Think of the fun we can have with this!

Of course, some times lyrics are actually what they are, which brings me back to those damn vegetables. And, that brings me back to Beetles (Japanese kind, not the British invasion kind) It is time for me to go outside and poison something--hopefully the beetles. Someone suggested I use a grill lighter to fry them. I say, "Don't. tempt. me."
Final Lap from Daytona: Alas, the fun had to come to an end. Daytona D & family are taking the long way home and are now in hell...er, I mean Kentucky. It's the end of the trail tomorrow, so we thank her now for the family vacation updates. Can't wait to see the photos! Daytona D writes: "... like most years, the vacation has lasted about two or three days too long. Not that I want to get home and get to work, but the togetherness may kill us all. 5 family members all in one hotel room, one car, with only one bathroom for 14 days is just a little too long. Especially when Captain Morgan isn't typically home more than two days in a row. The "she is looking at me," "she's touching me," "she's on my side of the bed," etc..... is getting pretty bad."

Sounds like it's time to come home. Mybe the nieces need to be singing about vegetables. Think they have Japanese Beetles in Kentucky?

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