A Heavenly Surprise After an uneventful popliteus weekend, I packed up my knee and headed to see Dr. Jesus for my next chiropractic event. I decided to give him a try while working out the Universe's message to me. After all, having the baby Jesus on your side when getting chiropractic intervention can't be bad at all. I pulled into the parking lot and notice the building right next door. I don't know why I hadn't noticed it the first two times I was there, but I didn't. I burst out laughing when I read the sign: it is the area's anti-abortion agency, the most conservative place in town. Me, bleeding liberal, champion of choice, is standing in front of the anti-abortion clinic. Shame on you, Universe! I keep laughing as I enter the building. This just keeps getting more and more entertaining. It's quiet in the office but I didn't really think about it til minutes later. My name was called, I sat in a chair, the chiropractic assistant slapped some electrode things on my knee, set the timer, walked away, leaving me to enjoy ten minutes of silence and electricity. "Hmmm," I think. It's really quiet here. I mean really quiet.... It's then I realize I don't hear Dr. Jesus. I shrug my shoulders and think maybe he's not here yet. Maybe he's praying. Maybe he is having a consultation with someone off site. The timer goes off and the assistant rips the contraption off my leg. Pant leg still rolled up, I am led to another exam room, one I was not in during my first two visits. I sit down in the chair and wait, looking around the room at the various Jesus posters and pictures of the human body's trigger points. I am contemplating what trigger points I should push on for this or that when.... ....I hear the rustling of papers..... ....I hear someone standing outside the door.... .....I hear the knock on the door..... ....and in walks some woman. Wait a minute--THAT'S not Dr. Jesus! That's a woman! She's a young, very attractive woman, wearing a white coat, looking like a doctor, nose ring perfectly placed, fashionable & approachable but all business. She sticks her hand out and introduces herself. "Hi, I'm Dr. Crackyerbones." I am stunned into silence but manage to shake her hand. A good, strong handshake. I am impressed. Ol' Dr. Jesus had a handshake like a limp fish. Thank you. Thank you, baby Jesus. 

 Thank you, Universe. Thank you for this blessed surprise. I knew that Dr. Jesus had a business partner but I really didn't think I'd ever seen the partner as I thought I had been "assigned" to Dr. Jesus. Apparently not, cuz there she was, just like a gift from above. No wonder I didn't hear Dr. Jesus...he's not in the building yet. Dr. Crackyerbones is all mine. Heaven! I am greatly relieved and greatly surprised. I am one happy piploteus-impaired camper. I can't say whether Dr. Crackyerbones did a good, adequate or poor job on my knee. I can't say if she is a good or bad or indifferent chiropractor. I can't say much at all, as I was so stunned by this turns of events I was left with jello for a brain. I suddenly liked the idea of tithing my income to Dr. Jesus. This is going to be a very expensive endeavor, but I must be ready to dance at the Madonna concert. I believe this is the woman who can do it. I will put my faith--and my knee--in her hands. I'll still have to see Dr. Jesus on days Dr. Crackyerbones isn't in the office, but I'm all good with that. I figure I can't lose (well, nothing but money and that's not so bad in the big picture, especially in comparison to Dr. Jesus' eternity). I am one with my knee pain. Praise the baby Jesus, the eight pound, six ounce baby Jesus! (In the meantime, I am running for President. Here's a newsclip regarding my efforts. Don't forget to write me in on the ballot!! Click here to learn more.) http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=4682&altf=Beej&altl=Xbssjps1Qsjodftt