Vacations I have known
As it is the last few hours of my vacation, I thought I'd reminisce about previous vacations.
There's not much to reminisce about this vacation--after all, being push-up-pleurisy-couch-potato-bound has vastly limited our options. Not that I'm complaining--not working is always a vacation.

(I'm having deja vu that I've already written these things before, but if I can't remember, I'm hoping you can't remember, either.)

Last Camping Vacation: Is this a great photo or what? I'll let you figure out what year it is. I'll give you a clue--it was in the 1980's. We haven't camped since then. The wife is NOT big on camping. If you had stayed in that tent, you'd never camp again, either.

For those of you can't believe the wife let me post this photo (left), rest assured she is torturing me by playing Bobby Goldsboro, Glen Campbell & Three dog night C.D.s she purchased today. Trust me--we're even. (I'm not kidding about the music, either.)

Most traumatic vacation memory: Fourth grade, stuck in the "Matterhorn" at Disneyland. I didn't want to go on that stupid "Skyway to Tomorrowland" and then it gets "stuck" in the Matterhorn. I probably still need therapy after that. I hear they got rid of that ride. Good! Here's a photo of what it looked like--well, what it looks like when it's not stuck in a fake white mountain with bobsleds shooting past you. I can even tell you what I was wearing that day--a red, white and blue striped shirt; hush puppy shoes, blue pants. Now, THAT'S true (PTSD) post traumatic skyway disorder.




Most disgusting hotel: Jackson, Mississippi, Econolodge, complete with cockroaches (in the daylight!) hanging off the bed headboard and rooms-by-the hour. No, we didn't stay. No hotel has ever compared to the disgust of this place (although there was that one hotel in Greensville during college softball where my supposedly clean pillow reeked of stale beer....). The cockroaches were shared with our favorite travelers, pictured here incognito to protect their true identity. Thankfully, we were able to move to a hotel in the area that didn't have cockroaches (but did have a broken toilet--I'm still sorry I didn't listen & just HAD to flush the toilet.)


Craziest vacation: Stuffing a 6'7" guy from Denmark into Bead Lady's compact card (without air conditioning) and driving to Massachusetts for no known reason and with no planning. By far one of the most spontaneous things I have ever done. He was so tall he didn't fit in hotel beds, let alone her car. We refused to let him drive. I think we were gone for a total four days--two there, two back. I guess Bead Lady and I decided this Danish guy needed to see more of the U.S. than where we worked (he was there as an intern or guest of the country or something--he was here for the summer). We drove through ten states, all the way out to the tip of Cape Cod (again, for no reason--but because it was there and was supposedly artsy and why not). Mr. Denmark met some guy on the beach--a scrawny guy from Elgin--and invited him to stay with us for the night. Um, that's not how we do it in the U.S. but I guess everyone is friendly in Denmark and that's what they do. Bead Lady and I were none too pleased about this and Mr. Denmark knew it. Highlights of the trip included getting a flat tire and in Erie, gawking at Niagara Falls and Mr. Denmark sticking White Castle french fries in his nose. (I'm not kidding. After four days in a compact car, you'd be doing the same.) I have some great photos of this trip but don't have a scanner so you'll have to use your imagination about the french fries.


Favorite Annual Summer Event: Petite Lake. Here's a photo from near where we went vacationing every year when I was a kid. No, that's not me & the wife on the swings. That's my grandma and relatives. I could write thirty blog entries on Petite Lake alone, but I'll leave it to this one picture and a bunch of happy memories.



Best Puking Tourists: On New Year's Day, 1994, the wife and I were vacationing in St. Thomas. As we didn't party the night before, we were good to go for our new year's catamaran ride to St. John's. The poor Japanese tourists joining us were not so ready. In fact, we were the only two on the boat (besides the crew, of course) that weren't puking. That left us the ENTIRE buffet lunch for the taking--none of those puking Japanese people ate a thing. We were eating like kings, snorkeling for days, romping around....and all they could do is puke. Bet that's a New Year's Day they won't forget.

Smallest Airplane: Vieques Airlines, Puerto Rico and Vieques, P.R. I swear my car is bigger than this plane. Actually, it was a very fun (albeit short) ride. The highlight was having the pilot have to watch for dogs on the runway and learning that the other airline company (who would think there would be TWO Vieques airlines) was shut down for safety reasons the same day we were flying in that teeny plane.

Worst airplane flight: St. Petersburg, 1981. Anyone who wants to argue with me about this needs to talk to my mother and sister about it. There's nothing like landing at the "wrong" airport in the middle of a story (we're talking tornado warnings) and watching the crew fill the plane up with gas so you can go back up in the storm and circle for days while waiting for the "right" airport to clear up. Hell NO! We got ourselves right off that plane.

Best food (by far): Cozumel.
Best Vacation spot: Cozumel.
Best rent-a-car: Cozumel.
Best reason to stop in Florida because there is no gas on the island: Cozumel.
Best sinkhole: Cozumel.
Best snorkeling: Cozumel.
Best fish in a stranger's swimsuit: Cozumel.
Best jellyfish sting: Cozumel.

This is a photo of us in a Cozumel-ian sinkhole. We were on a horseback ride with some guy who didn't speak English and he pointed down to the sinkhole. Being the stupid tourists that we are, we went down into the hole. Thankfully, he just wanted to take our photo and not stuff us in there. I guess Cozumel Sinkholes are very important or unusual or rare or good photo ops. I'm not really sure because, like I said, I couldn't understand the guide (despite my two years of high school Spanish--I could ask him where the library is but not about what he was showing us). He seemed pretty excited about it, though. So, if you go to Cozumel, be sure to eat the native food and go see a sink hole.

Okay, I have to stop writing so the wife will turn off the god-forsaken Bobby Goldsboro music....."and, honey, I miss you but I'm being good........."