Road Trip de la Cerveza y Bratwurst

The wife and I decided to take a short road trip, as inspired by MJagger's availability of a Milwaukee hotel room. (Why did she have this hotel room and why didn't she use it? MJagger and her sister BJovi had secured a hotel room via Priceline for the Gwen Stefani concert in Milwaukee. Alas, Gwen cancelled and they were stuck with a non-refundable room. Enter the Addiverse.) We dropped the grrrlz off at the kennel (where Freckles managed to poop right on the Welcome mat as we entered) and stayed at the art-deco-blessed Ambassador Hotel, as illustrated above. (I will NOT have fond memories of the Ambassador, not because I didn't like the hotel, but because I managed to poke the piss out of my eardrum while in the room. I know, I know--you are not supposed to put things in your ears, but I had this itch and I couldn't stand it so I grabbed a Q Tip and stuck it in there and unfortunately shoved it right into my eardrum. I'm telling you, my knees buckled. It STILL hurts and I am not a happy camper. Don't make fun of me if I say, "What?" more often. This is my GOOD ear, so we are all in trouble in the Addiverse.) I am proud to noted that the Ambassador is right in the neighborhood of Marquette University, and as we are fond of visiting campuses across America, this seemed like a good sign for a great visit. (We are SUCH nerds! Who else visits college campuses when traveling the globe?)

Milwaukee is a city that is near and dear to our heart. It is, after all, where me and the wife had our first fight. (She tried to get me to go ON an OFF ramp. We're were almost killed; hence, the screaming and first fight. I believe it was in 1984.) Milwaukee has many happy memories--days spent at Summerfest, days filled with Jacob Best, days filled with concerts (everyone from Melissa Etheridge to Dwight Yokam).

So, we head northeast to the land of breweries and no left turns. If you think I'm kidding about this, head east on Washington Street and try to make a left turn. I swear, every intersection sported a "No Left Turn" sign. This, of course, led to mumbling by the driver (moi) to the passenger (the wife). She claims she knows how to read a map but I beg to differ. Loudly.

As we no longer drink beer, it was rather difficult to find somewhere without the words "brewery" in the title. Not being able to turn Left also made it tough to get anywhere that might actually have food of interest. Let's just say that being a non-beer-drinking vegetarian in the land of Bratwurst & suds is a very difficult thing to be. The wife was giddy with delight because of the Usinger's Sausage-serving establishments were everywhere and she loves a Wisconsin Usinger brat almost as much as I love chocolate. So much for my meal--how could this Beer-free, sausage-free partner say no to a salivating brat lover? Alas, we finally agreed to eat at the Water Street Brewery because it sported portobella mushroom on the menu. After FINALLY finding somewhere to make a left hand turn, we were proud to find a parking space at the Blatz Brewery Condominiums, as shown in this photo:

You have to understand--we have had a long-standing long love affair with Blatz Beer. I can't even say the word "Blatz" without getting a smile on my face. It was the beer of choice for the ex-husband's family (don't let that hurt your head) and the wife and I have shared many a beer with Wesley and the ex-gang. (My first legal beer was a Blatz Beer on tap. Tasty!)

The road trip also featured a stop for breakfast at George Webb. The wife wanted a hamburger for breakfast--UGH!--and I guess this is the one place on earth that she wanted to do this. As a non-Wisconsinite, I had no idea what or who George Webb is/was/might be. I was glad to see pancakes on the menu, so I was agreeable with the hamburger for breakfast idea. She sucked that puppy down faster than I could say, "So, how's your hamburger?" I don't know who George Webb was, but he sure knows how to make the wife a good burger. All I know is that the pancakes were good and I liked that there were two clocks on the wall, right next to each other. (Why, I do not know. I guess it's a George thing.)

The thing that stands out most for me about Milwaukee is the beer-themed everything: Miller Park, The Milwaukee Brewers, the Pabst Mansion, The Pabst theatre, Blatz Condos...but, we couldn't find anything with the name Schlitz on it. (We're showing our age thinking about Schlitz Beer.) The other thing that stands out is the pain in my eardrum, which I guess will be a souvenir of the trip.

I think I would have rather had a bratwurst....

P.S. What HAVE they done to my beloved Xena? Woof! Here's Lucy Lawless covered in....in.....well, leather? dipped in tar? stuffed into a stolen outfit from Battlestar Gallactica? Whatever. Here she is in concert in New York. I can't wait to hear an album from her..... I'm not sure if Xena would be proud or mortified.....ayaiaiaiaiai!