Stalking Cat Osterman


Okay, so we're really NOT stalking Cat Osterman, but I thought it would make for a catchy title to this blog and after all my picture-taking, she was probably feeling a little stalked. Some of you are saying to yourself, "who the hell is Cat Osterman and why would anyone stalk her?" Cat is the pitcher for the Rockford Thunder Women's Professional Softball Team. "So what?" you foolishly ask. Well, she is only the BEST pitcher on the entire planet right now and somehow she found herself standing in the middle of Rockford wondering what the hell happened.

(Above): Cat Crying because she is stuck in Rockford, IL.

(If you really don't know who Cat is, go to her website at catosterman.com but go there only after you finish this blog. Hey--we have to have priorities here.)

We got to "meet" Cat & her teammates at a promotion this morning. One of our peers had the chance to take five strikes from Cat. I would personally have peed on myself if I had to do this, but our friend did us proud. She got a hold of a couple of those pitches and she's the only one of the five that made any significant contact. (Addendum to the Addiverse: There was the one foul ball that I neglected to mention during the original posting of this blog. My apologies to Anna, as she got a piece of the Cat with the bat and that is something I could never do....that most of us couldn't do. You go, girl! Apologies for missing you the first pub.) Of course, since the five celebrity batters only had a chance at five Cat Strikes, that left a lot of time for stalking and goofing around. I don't think Cat was amused by me but what the heck. I was excited about the whole thing and if I want to act like a deranged stalker, more power to me. Below is a photo facing the esteemed pitcher. She doesn't look scared but I'm guessing she is close to hyperventilating:

In case you don't know, Cat is TALL. Like, really tall. Like, I'm a short pee wee next to her tall. She's a lefty--all the more reason I am very glad to be in the stands and not in the batter's box. (Hey, it's been 23 years since I hit a fast-pitch ball. I'm not stupid. I'm not going near her.)

(Above): Lest you think only Cat matters, here are two other Thunder players smiling for the camera as they autograph some softballs. You go, grrlz! We promise to stalk you, too.

The Poor Rockford Thunder. Last thing they knew, they were in Texas, in a state-of-the art softball field. Now, they are in an embarrassment of a ball park where the dugouts don't even have cement floors yet, the bleachers are made of tacky plywood and the bathrooms are more like outhouses than not. I'm embarrassed for our town. What were the people who brought the Thunder to town thinking? This is big business, not some po-dunk gradeschool league. They are still working on the field and it needs a LOT of work. In fact, there is no way any of this is going to be done by tomorrow's sold-out home opener. The fields are okay for park district play but not professionals. I'm surprised the team didn't just get back on the bus after taking a look at the facilities. Cat probably needed a Valium and a raise after coming to the park the first time.

The good news is that Rockford will provide them something they didn't have in Texas: FANS. That's right. Rockford is a HUGE softball town. The opening game tomorrow night has been sold out for months. The place will be packed every game. The Thunder might not hate the field so much when there are all those screaming fans bursting out of the stands. That will be our only saving grace.

I have lots of questions for the Rockford Thunder but I figure I have the whole season to get answers. Where do they live when in town? What do they do when they are not playing softball, both during the season and off season? How the hell did they get to Rockford? Did they even know there was a Rockford? Will any of them stay in Rockford after the season is done? Why do so many of them have facial piercings? (This is a good thing in my book, but a question, nonetheless). Why do they wear make-up when playing softball? Do they have tattoos? Will they still love us even if their home field sucks? How much do they get paid? Do they get their equipment as part of the deal? Do they have to do their own laundry? Do any of them like Madonna, Xena and/or cheeseballs? Are they freaked out about having a 44 year old stalker? Are they scared by my hair? Do they wanna hang out in the Addiverse or with Pat? (That's Pat PAT to you.) What can we do to help them feel the love?

Help them feel the love: http://www.thunderprofastpitch.com/ Go out to a game. Buy some of their merchandise. Buy some cement for the dugout floor. Stalk Cat. In a legal, non-weird way, please. Until they get cement floors for the dugout, I'll be praying to St. Jude for a ballpark intervention and watching the neighbor dog try to climb our tree:

You think I'm kidding about this? We do not kid in the Addiverse. That is a dog climbing our tree. Happens every day. That should give Cat something to think about between innings: "why is that dog climbing a tree? Is this some weird Rockford thing? What the hell am I doing here? Why do I have to go where dogs climb trees?"

Maybe that dog is looking for a cat. Ha ha. Get it? A cat? Cat? Never mind.....