Freckles Warrior Pee-er

Doggone it! Freckles has kept up her "I'm-naughty-and-I'm-gonna-pee-on-your-rug-for-no-known-reason" behavior. This keeps me and Freckles in the dog house at home. (Don't you just love the photo of that dog peeing on a laptop?! If Freckles does that, she will SO be on the street as coyote food.)

Here is a photo of a dog peeing on the rug. It's not Freckles but I bet this dog is in trouble for urinating on the carpeting, just like Freckles is in trouble, just like I am in trouble for Freckles being in trouble.

So, I take Freckles Warrior Princess (FWP) to the vet. I figure she's got a goopy eye, so we can talk to the vet about two problems at the same time. I'm thinking that the potty problem is purely behavioral but would feel like a real schmuck if it turned out to be something medical. (By the way: FWP has learned to eat her eye boogers. It's disgusting but works well. She uses her paw to wipe the boogers off and then licks them off her paw. Better than me having to do it.)

I am here to tell you: if you have never seen a vet assistant try to get a urine sample from a dog, you have not lived. The vet assistant asks if FWP has peed recently; I tell her, "yes, twice before we even got in the door." (A real macho dog, that FWP is--always marking her territory.) We go outside and try to get a dribble or two, anyway. (Just like when you or I go to the doctor--they tell you to pee in a cup and you just peed because you didn't know this was coming and now they are demanding a urine specimen and they are not going to take no for an answer.) The lady has this little paper plate thingy and is following FWP around. I'm saying "go potty go potty go potty" and FWP is thinking "I want to go potty but this lady is chasing me" and the lady keeps following the dog's butt. FWP squats for a pee and then FREAKS when the vet lady tries to slide the paper thingy under her unmentionables. The dog walks away, gets ready to squat, sees the lady coming and thus sits down. When the lady got a bit closer, Freckles literally laid down in the grass. I think I'd sit down if someone was stuffing something under my parts while I was trying to pee....

Incredibly, the lady manages to get a few dribbles and thus deems this to be a success. She carries the little paper plate to the lab and all is well in the world.

Let me tell you--going to the vet is NEVER cheap. It's a minimum of $100 just to walk in the door, I swear. Well worth it, but a good chunk of change for something that is ruining your carpeting. The vet is concerned and I answer the questions. They are all the questions I have answered for myself about a zillion times. Yes, we walk her daily. Yes, she's on a schedule--AM, Noon, Dinner, PM. No, she's not drinking more than usual. Yes, she is eating well. No, she does not do it when we're home (well, there was that one time but that doesn't count). Yes, she was completely potty trained. No, there haven't been any major changes in the household. Yes, she tends to be an anxious dog but this is a bit better. No, she doesn't pee in the same place every time. A kidney problem can't be ruled out at this point, as the dribble of pee didn't really give a good sample for testing--but, there's no blood and there's not protein problems and there's none of this or that--it's just something about the pee being too diluted and that another pee test will be needed when she pees first thing in the morning.

Oh great. Now I get to chase her around and use a pee plate.

Next comes the eye tests. Shih tzus are known for their eye problems, so I wasn't too surprised when her eye boogers surfaced. (Thankfully, it's in just one eye. One boogery eye is enough.) The vet, who is very high tech (only the best for the pee-ing one) uses these strips to test the "wetness" of the eyes as Shih tzus tend to get dry eye. They are called "Schirmer Tear Test" strips and it's rather interesting. Only thing is, FWP's eye "water" is off the scale to the good. Guess that's not the problem. Next comes the "shine-this-light-into-your-eye" test, just like we when glasses-wearing people go for an eye exam. Then comes the "stain-the-eye-yellow-and-use-a-brighter-light" (better known as the "Flourescence Dye") eye test. Ooooooohhh! Ahhhhhhhh! FWP is diagnosed with having a history of some kind of pigment problem that has now scarred and healed. That's not what's causing the problem but it does stand out during the eye peek. Even I could see it and I don't have a special light. I am handed a vial of some triple-antibiotic opthamalic ointment and sent on my way to save FWP from terminal boogers.

Side note: FWP gained a pound. That is TERRIBLE for her, as she only weighed 14 lbs and now weighs 15 pounds. That's a huge increase in such a little dog. I feel a diet coming on. Less treats, more walks! The wife says I give the dogs too many treats. Heck, I only feed them when I feed myself.....

As for the peeing, I am supposed to try using behavior modification. Trust me, I've been all over that. I think I gave the vet a "how stupid do you think I am I'm already doing that" look. I'm already watching Caser the dog whisperer and doing all the things I think I should be doing....it's worth it to try again.... If that doesn't work, we'll try bloodwork to rule out medical conditions. If that doesn't show anything, we'll try Puppy Prozac. If that doesn't work, I'll take the prozac. If that doesn't work, I'll give the wife the prozac and we'll get hardwood floors......

....I just had a thought.....wouldn't it be something if has been LUCY peeing on the carpeting and not Freckles? After all, we don't catch them in the act.......now we'll have to be on "Pee Patrol" to make sure we've got the right culpret!