Friday, December 22, 2006

Here's the Scoop, Poop!


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....

Today was a great day and a real downer at the same time. (I would have said it was a shitty day but there was no shit to be had, so it really just kind of sucked.) I refuse to give any "power" to today's yuckiness and instead focus on the poop. Literally.



I'm thinking of Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo, from South Park. Merry Poopy Christmas!

My beloved employees, who know me so well it's almost scary, got me a "Monthly Doos" dog poop calendar for Christmas. This may not be your cup of tea, but it certainly is mine. In addition, they got me a poop key chain, a poop pen and a poop ornament for the tree. (That's one ornament the wife won't be hanging on the christmas tree.) It's poop overload, only better. 




How can you not just love a gnome with a wheelbarrel heading for the dog poop?



(Go to www.zymetrical.com to see the poop-related items, including this calendar--described on their website: "Finally, a calendar dedicated to the colorful achievements of man's best friend! In the fifth edition of this cult classic, no mound was left unturned in search of the perfect shot. With 12 nauseating and somewhat disturbing high art photos inside, this work of crap gives new hope to boring calendars everywhere....") Tasty!

Since I'm babbling about poop, I'd like to share that the Colon Care Formula has made my life a little more....pleasant? I can't thank Suziki DiFranco enough for helping my bowels become one with the Universe. See? Now my bad day doesn't fell so bad. A few minutes of infantile poop talk and I'm good to go.....well, not literally, in this case. Maybe in 12 or 14 hours....

In addition to my poop gifts, my beloved employees made me a "The Scoop on Poop" Book. It looks like they gleaned a lot of the information from www.heptune.com/poop.html The information includes facts on:why poops stinks, what poop is made of, why poop is brown (usually, that is), why some poop floats, even the origin of the word poop. The Poop Thesaurus is especially entertaining--there are more names for poop than you can shake a stick at. 

Give me a holler if you're looking for twenty or thirty slang words for poop. I'm sure that will come in handy during Christmas dinner.....

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