Sick of Slugs yet?

Okay, I've decided the Native Americans and animal totems are the way to go with the whole snail/slug thing. I promise to move on from the snails to fun stories of the mentally ill and regarding the dogs, but for this minute,  

I am OBSESSED with the gastropod.

I trolled (slimed across?) the internet and found that totems (spirit animals, if you will) certainly can be snails. Most of the sites suggest that the snail is a sign of perseverance and tender nature despite a cold facade. Linsdomain.com indicatres that the snail is "a reflection of the protective spirts that surround each of us."

Well, that sounds good.

Uh oh--she adds, "the appears of a snail in your life reflects the need to be more protective in your environment. Be aware of your surroundings and keep your guard up."

These are not comforting words to a paranoid freak like me. Thanks for nothing, Linsdomain.

Anyway, she (I'm assuming it's a she) states that "snail people often present a hard shell to the world when they really have a tender heart and strong feelings." Yes! That's more like it. Kind of like Cancer, the Crab--crusty on the outside, soft and tender on the inside. 

Wait a minute--am I a snail people now? I'm not sure I want to be a snail people. How bout a hawk people or a dog people or a tiger people?

According to sayahda.com, the snail "reminds us to take the easiest path to reach our destination. When snail appears in your life, ask yourself if you are taking a harder path than necessary."

Damn, I'm ALWAYS learning things the hard way. Dang snails showing up and throwing this in my face. Rat bastards! And, hard headed--just like a snail shell--yeah, I can't argue with that.

Sayahda adds, "[the snail] holds the teaching of patience, perseverance and respect. It asks us to be mobile and fluidic as we move through life, always aware of how our actions or lack of them affect others. ...when the snail enters your life, your reputation is under review. Past situations come to the surface to be healed or balanced in some way....snail asks us to right whatever we have wronged."

Geez, more life lessons, more scrutiny, more guilt! The good news is that is sounds like I can right what wrongs I have done. Um, that is SO going to be a long laundry list.

I liked it better when there were no slugs and snails in my life. And, that whole patience thing--I didn't get any of that when they were handing it out at the front of the line.

So, that is my snail of woe. (Ha ha, get it--tail of woe, snail of woe? Well, I thought it was punny.) I think I'll move on from snails to figuring out why our garage and lower level smell so much like mildewy, stale smoky yuckiness. 

Maybe there are snails living in our drywall.....