Don't worry--it's only a minor back injury and I'm sure my McInjury will heal before you can list all the Big Mac ingredients.
Here's a photo of Freckles practicing McBalance. It takes talent to sleep on top of three stacked pillows. (This is how she peeks out the stained glass window. The wife and I designed this unusual set-up so the dog would stop jumping on the stained glass. Now, she just sleeps there. Ommm...
Good news is that the McInjury gives me plenty of time to listen to my new Dixie Chicks album, "Not Ready to Make Nice." I wouldn't make nice, if I were them. Piss on being nice. It's an awesome album but a ton of people won't be hearing it because they think the Chicks are too outspoken or too honest or too loudmouthed or to confrontive or too anti-good-ol'-boy or too bitchy. Stupid radio stations are boycotting them. The Chicks owe no one an apology. Does anyone make Bruce Springstein apology for his songs? His statements? No. I think you should all go out and buy a copy of this album because it's really good AND then you won't have to miss them on the radio and you can piss off all those good-ol'-boys. I am all for them being outspoken rebels, so I might be a wee bit biased....But, it's the music that rocks, so good for them and good for you if you go buy a copy.
As for work, a head honcho at my place of employment decided a croquet league was needed for our chronically mentally ill clients. I know you're thinking: "Uh, do you really want to give a bunch of mentally ill people a bunch of wooden mallets, metal wickets and rock-hard projectiles?" People, they're mentally ill, not drunk or psycho mass murders! (You are probably also thinking, "gosh, I didn't know the chronically mentally ill would want to play croquet. To be honest, I'm not sure that they do. We'll find out. ) Why the boss man is hot for croquet, I don't know, but at least it's free and cheap.
I know NOTHING about croquet. When we were kids, we would do things like pin each other to the ground using the wickets (not a good idea, so don't try it the next time you are drunk--you might poke an eye out) or we'd just whomp on the balls all over the lawn. Who knew there were actual rules to this lawn game? There are like a ZILLION rules to croquet and I can't decipher a one of them.
So, the wife says, "I'll help you with the croquet league." I take this to mean she is a professional croquet player and knows all about the game and is volunteering to be a croquet consultant for my soon-to-be-designed league. Heck, she's a PE major--didn't they have to have a croquet final sometime in her schooling? What she really meant was "I don't know a thing about croquet but I am willing to help out."
That's a much different thing than what I was thinking and thus many an argument has now occurred. Over croquet. We're arguing over croquet. How dumb is that?
I went to Barnes and Noble thinking there would be a book on "Croquet for Dummies," but no such thing exists. (Hey, maybe that's how I could make some extra cash--write a book about croquet for morons.) We were stuck with the Internet, and while we gleaned tons of info, we couldn't understand any of it. Do we want to play six or nine wicket? One ball or two ball? International rules, Australian Rules, American Rules? Geez, we just want the clients to have something to do. My McInjury hurts when I think about all this. I finally found a site that explained croquet for elementary students in Australia. At least I could decipher that one.
Just so you know, the wife resigned from helping with the croquet league.
While learning about croquet and as I'm recovering from my McInjury, MJagger had this awesome (and kind of creepy in a oujiu oujiu way) thing happen to her yesterday. I swear this is true, as I was a direct witness.
MJagger fried out her iPod this week. When it says "Do not disconnect," you should NOT disconnect it from the computer. That fried-out-now-not-working iPod has been a stressful mess for her. It's consumed many a moment. There have been a lot of swear words directed to that iPod.
Being a nerd and a well-meaning friend, I took a look at that poor puppy. After several minutes I realized, yup, this thing is fried. I didn't want to tell her but I did. I suggested she have one of our "work nerds" take a look at it.
After he worked on it, he gave it back to her and gave her that "oh-dear-you-are-screwed" look she was so hoping to avoid.
....She was just to give up on it when she got this idea. MJagger and I took the non-working iPod out to her car. She said out loud to one of her spirit friends (I'm not kidding about this) that if he was so real he should fix this iPod and start playing all the songs he usually plays for her.
Hey--desperate times, desperate measures. Who are we to argue about the reality of spirit guides?
She stuck the iPod into her car thingy.....and, damn if it didn't start working AND it started playing the songs she asked him to play! I almost shat myself.
I'm telling you, that thing was broken and now it's not! You may think my McInjury is squeezing a few brain cells but I'm telling you that the brain cells are just fine. I can't wait to tell Moriah the Medium about this....
...Do you think I can find a spirit guide to teach me croquet???
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