Grooming of the Dogs & the Breakfast of Champions

The "Grrrlz" went to the "spa" yesterday. They hate it. You'd think they were being tortured, the way they act when they get to the groomer's den. Who wouldn't love being bathed and shaved and blow-dried and primped and cologne-ized? They shake and hide and tremble and poop and put on the breaks.

I don't know how the groomer does it--Lucy wiggles so much, it must be like trying to groom a greased pig while water skiing. I know I've tried to complete a bit of "home grooming" and it's a disaster. First, I have to catch Lucy. Then, I have to hang on to her. She's like a bucking bronco--you'd think I was killing her. Forget about doing her paws. The groomer deserves a tip bigger than what she charges. God bless you, Saint Linda Groomer Girl! I feel your pain.

Poor Freckles gets blamed for being the wiggly one, but it's Lucy that causes the commotion. Freckles probably just stands there and trembles and resigns herself to the fact that she can't escape so she might as well just stand there and shake as this lady shaves her butt.

The good news is that getting groomed makes Fatty Patty Freckles look much thinner. It's like a five pound instant weight loss.

The photos above include "Babushka Girl," "Hiding under the Table and Pissed about the whole Grooming thing," and "What are you looking at?" Below, Freckles takes a nap--it's tough to be at the groomer's--a long nap is needed after that whole shin-dog.

As for breaksfast today, I had the wife make me some steel-cut oats. Mmm! We learned about this food while at Miravel last summer (on the Oprah trip, living the life of leisure). I, of course, personalize my oats by putting mini M&M's in them--a true breakfast of champions. Here's a picutre for those of you who don't think I'm serious. (I've also been known to put M&M's on my pizza, so beware!) Tasty!