Lucy: Back in the dog house

Another day, another pile of poop on the new carpeting. As you can imagine, this does NOT go over well with the wife.

Poor Lucy. When she goes to the kennel, she cannot figure out how to poop on the cement; thus, she holds it all in (literally) until she gets home....then, she just let's it fly. Being the good dog that she is, she does everything in her power to hold it until she gets outside, but sometimes, it is impossible. Of course, if you are going to poop inside and you are a dog, you should always poop on the newest carpeting you can find. And, if you've held your poop long enough, it tends to fly out in diarrhea fashion. Woof. (That's a photo of Lucy lying--laying?-- on my new Marcus Allen throwback jersey. When you're sick, you can get away with almost anything. The jersey is a whole 'nother story.)

Berber is a you-know-what to clean poop out of....the wife has been scrubbing and using all sorts of luscious products in an effort to remove the very visible stain. Even I can see it and I don't usually notice things like that. The OCD-inflicted wife laments, "why can't she poop on the old, crusty carpeting?" But, it is to no avail. The new carpeting is stained and it is not a pretty site. The berber was supposed to hide stains from pee, poop, puke and other messes.

It does not.

I'm glad that Lucy is the culprit this time, as I am usually the one to drop something or spill something or stain something. This episode thus gets me off the hook and I no longer need to live in fear when crossing the new carpeting. An additional stain will be no big deal at this point. I won't win any points if (make that WHEN) I do spill something on the carpeting, but it won't be as bad as if I were the first one to de-virginalize the carpet.

I must admit that I am the reason we had to get new carpeting in the first place. I had a glob of greasy oil in the tread of my shoes and managed to blop oil marks all over our beige carpeting. Every time we cleaned it up, it would look good for a few weeks...and, then oil would seep back up to the surface and leave black circles. It wasn't good. (I thought it was the man fixing the water softener, but my shoes incriminated me.) Had I followed the house rules and taken off my shoes when I got home, there wouldn't have been blops of grease everywhere.

I'm not good at following rules. Lucy and I are working on that.

I'll let you know if the poop stains ever are satisfactorally removed from the rug. Until then, please pray to St. Jude (saint for hopeless causes) so Lucy can get out of the dog house.