Orange or Blue or Pedro?

I try not to write about politics very often. After all, will a five-reader blog really change your mind about anything? I'm no expert. I'm opinionated, not impartial. But, for my own sanity--and, it is my blog, so I can employ it to help said sanity--I'm going to post in regards to political ridiculousness transpiring at this very moment. Besides, it's MUCH cheaper than therapy to blog about politics than not blog about it.

If you're an orange, you might as well go elsewhere. I hear Faux News is having a special report on Biden's kid. So wrong, so wrong! There is nothing here for you. You're welcome to stay but I'd prefer you go elsewhere. I honestly don't want to hear you spewing whatever you're spewing today.

If you're a blue, welcome. Don't waste your time worrying about the orange family. They can do what they want to do. Let's focus on our blue team. If you can call it a team... because I am here to say.... if I hear "It's rigged!" from one more blue person, I am going to scream:

Me: "YES! YES, KAREN. IT IS RIGGED!" You know what, Karen? I'd bet dollars to donuts it is rigged. But, you know what, Karen? Stay home because it's rigged.... and, you just voted orange.

The KAREN: I don't care. I'm not voting for anyone blue because it's rigged. If it weren't rigged, I'd be voting for my guy.

Me: Karen, I'm not thrilled with any of the candidates, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stay home. I am going to go vote. I am going to vote for someone who is not my first choice. I am going to vote blue. I'm going to go vote because I don't want four more years of orange. I want there to be someone who...

THE KAREN: (Rolls eyes.) 

Me: I don't want orange to brutally crush the Supreme Court. That's decades worth of damage. What about the environment? A living way? Someone for the people, not just the... I don't want orange to....

THE KAREN: (Rolls eyes louder.) Okay, Boomer. If you wouldn't have rigged last election, we wouldn't have an orange at the top. 

Me: So, four more years of orange is okay with you. (This is not a question. It's a statement.)

THE KAREN: It's YOUR fault! It'll be your fault again. I'm not voting! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! Don't you blame us for the orange. 

Me: Orange it is.

THE KAREN: YOUR fault.

Me: Actually, Karen--you're correct and miserably wrong at the same time. I'm not going to argue about that. I just wish there was a better understanding that this is SO MUCH BIGGER than one guy. It's the court system. It's education. It's the environment. It's respect. It's health care in general....

Me (flapping and now much louder): IT'S THE MIDDLE AND LOWER CLASS, KAREN! We're getting screwed and you're staying home because your person isn't at the top. How do I convey the important of voting, whether or not your person is at the top, Karen? I'm begging you to look at the bigger picture!

Then, I realize.... at her age, I wouldn't have seen a bigger picture, either. Sigh. And, thus I am a bit jaded, a tad bitter and quite concerned. We're here. I can't change that. Telling her my candidate isn't in the top doesn't help. I just sound old and crusty. It doesn't matter than I'm quite the liberal. It matters about her person, not about anything bigger.

Hmmm. Maybe I should go with this:

Damn old people. That might scare a few people out of bed and into the voting booth. Karen, you have the power to go out there and make a change, rigged or not. You have so much power! This is for YOU, your future. I know you're mad, but you have the power. Use it! Don't let old, crusty people crush your future like a bug!

But, actually.... maybe I'll go with this: Vote for Pedro.

After all, this might be our best choice. Vote for Pedro. He's not orange or blue.... he's got a sweet bike....

Pedro: Like, what are my skills?

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus, you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.

Those skills work for me. Vote for Pedro. This boomer feels better already.