My Canines' Canines

We live in a ridiculous time. So says the wife. She is 100% right. Our country has lost its' mind. So, instead of commenting on the ridiculous, I shall comment on the status of our dogs' teeth.

When I was younger (read: four decades younger), I wanted to be either a pilot or a dentist when I grew up. That changed when I learned dentists had the highest rate of suicide and that my eyesight was too poor to fly the friendly skies. My path went a much different way, although I did end up being an orthodontic assistant for five years.

For the record, I never once felt suicidal while tighting wires and poking brackets. No one liked us but I suppose the sadistic part of the job made it downright fun. Besides, what's not to love about orthodontics?

Also for the record, my eyesight did not improve. I still couldn't be a pilot. Eye surgery isn't an option unless I want to have my lens removed and replaced. Since I'm not going to be a pilot, I'll keep my lens for the time being, thank you very much.

Had dog dentristy been a "thing" back in the day, my path might have been down the doggie trail.

Bandido had some dental work done last week. She had five broken teeth pulled out and it was noted she has three of her larger teeth missing. I'm not kidding when I say life on the streets of the Tex-Mex border is brutal. God knows how her teeth were broken or lost but I am sure it's not because she was living the life of leisure. She is now the proud owner of a cute gap on both the top and bottom of her smile. Once the sutures are a thing of the past, I'll make sure to take a photo. For now, this photo will suffice.

Rosita is having dental work done this week. Hopefully, she just needs a really good cleaning. I could see Bandido's broken front teeth but I don't see anything of the sort with Rosita. If she needs any teeth removed, I'm guessing because they somehow rotted during her short tenure on the planet.

Our beloved Lucy (rest in peace) had to have nine teeth pulled out at one time when she visited the doggie dentist. They were all loose, so they basically fell out for the dog dentist. Who knows why that happened to her--it was weird enough that she was at the dentist to get a molar extracted, as its root was growing out of her snout. She had a bad dental thing going on. Here's a gross photo of the tooth they removed from Lucy's snout. (She's still a bit giddy from being knocked out for surgery. That's one big tooth for one small dog.

Freckles, god rest her soul, also had dental issues--she didn't "grow" all her teeth. In fact, her canines-- you know, the scary fangs--never showed up. She had little nubs for teeth. Try as she might, her bark was definitely worse than her bite. She could give you a good "front teeth scraping" of a bite but a puncture wound would be impossible.

We have definitely have doggie teeth theme going on. 

When I reflect on it, I would've loved to have been a dog dentist. It would be a combination of two passions: teeth and dogs. The thought of going to veterinary school does nothing for me but the idea of dog dentistry is intriguing. At this stage of the game, I'd have to settle for being a dog dental technician, if there is such a thing. Although I could fake my way through biology, I coudn't pass chemistry classes to save my soul (nor would have any desire to try--I left chemistry behind in high school, thank you very much).

I took a few minute to check up on this potential field (not that I'm looking for a new career). To become a dental vet tech (no looking into being a dog dentist--that's for current vets to do), it takes at least two years of training plus an internship. To be certified, it takes a bazillion hours on the job....

.... perhaps I should start by brushing my own dogs' teeth before looking into doing anything with other people's dog teeth. Seriously, I'm the one who needs to get with the program, not with the doggie school program.

Have you ever tried to brush a dog's teeth? I can tell you that Bandido does not take kindly to it. I had enough trouble trying to get a DNA sample from her cheeks. She's gonna have to get with the program, because brushing is now in her routine. I'll be happy with once a week. One can't be too greedy. Rosita doesn't understand what the heck is happening, so I can fake it with her. But, Bandido? It's gonna involve a lot of swearing (me) and squirming (her).

I'll keep you posted about Rosita's trip to the doggie dentist. I'm sure it will be entertaining, one way or another. Here's hoping I don't have any photos to post.

My canines' canines. Sounds like a great title for a book or a poem or a video or a lecture...

...or a blog.

Please tell me they don't floss dog teeth. I'm so not ready for that.