Was Blind but Now I See

Three weeks later and I'm still talking about my glasses.

I was right when I told the 12 year old my lens were done incorrectly. Not only were they done incorrectly in numerous ways, I was charged incorrectly. You know, I kept thinking about the bill during the few days I tried to wear those new glasses. It just seemed so wrong, even with the coupon finally added.....

How do I know these things? Because I went and found a 40 year old who would listen to me. In fact, I worked with the manager. She confirmed that my lens were nowhere done properly and that I had been overcharged $200.00 by the 12 year old. My pupil measurements were wrong, wrong, wrong. (Since your pupils don't move, that is something hard to screw up, especially when my measurements are in the system--at least ten glasses in a row.) When you wear progressive lenses, wrong pupil measurements don't work. My new lens weren't HD. Again, with progressive lenses that makes a huge difference.

I appreciated how the manager turned the screen to me and showed me the various measurements from over the many years. She focused on the pupil measurements from the last several visits...and, then the most recent visit. Not.Even.Close.

I felt vindicated. Take that, 12 year old! I know what the hell I'm talking about when it comes to glasses.

My favorite part was when the manager asked (to the cosmos, not to me), with a scowl and calculator, why I paid so much for the glasses. She pounded on the keys. Scowled more.

My 40 year old manager looked at me and, with as much restraint as she could master, ask"Who did you work with?"

I pointed her out. The scowl got even bigger. "Say no more," she growled. Oh my.

So, I had my eyes re-checked--just in case. The eye doctor wasn't entertained but he obliged their request. Spot on. So, the manager took care of everything else. She even went and got another pair of the same glasses and said, "we're starting over." She measured my pupils, which surprisingly hadn't moved since the last time a 40 year old measured them (insert snarky voice). She talked about HD lens, eye measurements, on and on.

She was singing the song of my people--the severely myopic.

When she re-did my bill, it turned out I was indeed changed $200 too much. I think that was the breaking point.

It appeared the 12 year old was about to become unemployed.

Anyway, I got my new glasses and they are fabulous. I can see with 100% accuracy. They fit better. I can actually see--eagle-eye vision is tough to get with my prescription. Bonus points: I have money in my pocket.

When I went to pick up my glasses, I looked around. No 12 year old in sight. (No pun intended.) I felt a bit bad about this and hoped it was her day off. I was tickled pink that my glasses were perfect.....

....well, they were perfect in every way but one.....

....the wife took one look at me and exclaimed,

"YOU BOUGHT THE SAME GLASSES AS ME!"

God Bless America, she was right. I was wearing the same glasses as her. I found this hilarious. She was not--in any capacity--entertained. She lamented how she would never again be able to wear her glasses. I assured her no one would notice. Seriously. Who the hell would notice that kind of thing?

Flash forward to the P!nk concert this weekend. For the first time, the wife and I both wore our matching glasses. I talked her into wearing hers (she doesn't have to wear them all the time). I mean, seriously--we're at a concert with a bazillion people. NO ONE is looking at our glasses. No one.

We ran into some friends before taking our seats. We're talking and one of them says, I kid you not:

"Do you two have the same glasses?"

Screw my life.

The wife's face said it all: I told you. I told you so. I hate you.

Suffice it to say, I don't think the wife will EVER wear her glasses again. I told her I'd go get my previous pair updated to my new prescription so I can wear my "old" ones when she is wearing her pair. It was too late. The point had been made. No number of new lens would fix this error of mine.

I may still go ahead and update my old lens, just in case. Rest assured that only the 40 year old will be allowed to come near me and my pupils. Me and my pupils seek only the people who sing our song.

Let's face it: It's a lot easier to take my pupils to the store than to listen to the wife talk on and on about our matching glasses. Me and my pupils might be dumb but we're not stupid. If wearing the same glasses isn't romantic (and, I take it it is not), I must do what must be done.

Before I go back to the store, I think I'll go through the wife's pile of glasses and make sure I don't end up with another matching pair...