Hallowed

I am practicing an upgraded way of being as I enjoy my little plot of reality on planet Earth. It's simple, it's free and it's nothing new. Anyone can do it. 

I am clearing the hairballs out of my chakras.

Kidding. My chakras don't have hairballs. They are filled with glitter and chocolate.

 Before I move on to the topic at hand (which was supposed to be Halloween), I want to congratulate my second chakra, as it must be spinning in a most bionic manner. Getting my period this month--AGAIN, RIGHT ON TIME at this stage of the game suggests my second chakra is a happy place to be. I embrace my ovaries, surrounding them in love and light. After all, it's pretty amazing that they've been able to shoot eggs for over 40 years. Thank you, ovaries. You've done me proud. I'm okay if you'd like to fade into retirement, though.
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Okay, NOW we can talk about Halloween.
*********************************************************As it is Halloween in less than 48 hours, I have a task of which I must complete, much sooner than not: I need to figure out a costume. Usually, this is a super-easy thing for me to do. This year, not so much. I'm not sure what the hold up is in my creativity department is but it's giving me a run for the money. After all, I need time to make/put together/buy the costume.

Side note: Don't suggest "pinning" to find a costume. I don't have time to Pin. If I go to that site, the next thing I know it will be November 1st.

This is serious business, this costume thing of mine. I have to be something for the work party. Let me clarify: a daytime work party, with clients--no booze, no nonsense--just music, costumes and sugar products. Still, this remains very serious to me.

It is important to me that my costume be relevant, recognizable and clever. A tall order, to be sure. So far over the years, I believe I have been successful on all accounts. This year, though.....

Suggestions from Book de la Face have included Tony Stark (a most wonderful idea), a cup of DD coffee (a most, most wonderful idea), a role of toilet paper (hilarious) and various cartoon characters (fabulous, but iffy--last year, I was Tina Belcher.... most people didn't know who that was, quite to my dismay). Let's brainstorm aloud, shan't we?

• I've already been poop, so that's out. I never do a costume twice, although it's debatable, as one time I was just a plain old poop and another time I was later Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo, so technically I've been poop twice. 
• I assume there will be a lot of "Rey" from Star Wars, so I've crossed that off the list.
• I figure lots of people will be Chicago Cub baseball players OR Joe Madden (an easy enough costume), so forget that.
• I do NOT want to be anything political, so that rules out a few costumes.
• I've already been the characters from all my favorite TV shows.
• I thought about being a cardboard-applicator tampon, but that seemed to freak people out when I mentioned it. 
• Wonder Woman would be awesome--with the movie coming out sooner than not and seeing she's from island of all women--but, I'm not ready to don that measly outfit.
• I could be a pirate, seeing as we'll be going to a Pirate Party in December--two for one... but, that's cheating.
• I could easily be a zombie but that wouldn't be right, as I don't watch any zombie shows...
• For some reason, I think there are going to be a lot of pineapples this year. I have no idea why I think this. Time will tell.
• I can't wear a scary mask as my glasses won't allow it... and, trust me when I say I HAVE to wear my glasses.
• I wouldn't mind being something chocolate, considering I've never done that, but I'm afraid people would mistake me for some form of poop (Hershey squirts, anyone?).
• I do have an idea for a board game but it would involve flesh colored leggings and there IS NO WAY IN HELL I am donning or buying flesh colored leggings.
• All princess ideas are OUT. No princess costumes. None. Don't toy with me. (I was one of the ugly step-sisters one year... that's almost a princess.... and, there is a certain Warrior Princess, but that's not the same thing. 
• No clowns. I hate clowns. And, with all the clown problems this year, I might accidentally get shot or arrested.

Would it be wrong if I wandered around the office with my eyes closed and wearing ear plugs, pretending to be Helen Keller?


I asked the wife about a particular idea that sprung to mind while typing this. She said I shouldn't be anything of which requires me to buy something. Spoil sport.

What does she know? She finds no humor in Halloween. 

I daresay I am thinking WAY too much. I am confident that when I am helping the wife with the yard today, an idea will spring to mind. 

Perhaps I should go as my Facebook feed. Right now, it's a bunch of dogs, cats and Cubs (the kind with two legs, not four)... babies, recipes, positive memes and poop. Heaven. Sure would be clever, relevant and recognizable. Hmmmmmm..... that might be the winning idea.... although, who knows what will come to mind as I wander the yard this afternoon?

Time is of the essence, so if you have an idea of which you think I cannot live without, do say something. Send a message, a comment, an email, a text, a post, carrier pigeon.  Bet you can't wait to see what costume wins the honors.

While you are waiting, might as well clean your chakras. Make sure they are spinning in the correct direction. See them happy, clean, shiny and glorious. Get the fur balls out. Get the love and light in.

Flesh colored leggings. Dear god. Don't picture flesh colored leggings while cleaning your chakras. You have been warned.
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