It's In the Syllabus

I dedicate this post to all the teachers of the world... which, is a good thing, since googling "it's in the syllabus" might accidentally lead you to the Addiverse. These stolen memes and these words are for you. Besides, many of my friends are teachers--in fact, I'd venture that 50% of my friends are teachers. I have relatives who are teachers. I am married to a teacher. Educators: you deserve to feel the love at the start of the new year.


Ah, the end of summer. The sunburn is finally done peeling. The days are getting surprisingly shorter. A overachieving tree is already starting to turn colors. Vacations are winding down. NFL fantasy football drafts are underway. The Boys of Summer are preparing for the play-offs. The harvest is just about to start (city folk like me don't think about the harvest, but I hear it's this time of year). The temperature remains scorching but paper and pencils and notebooks and glue sticks are all on sale, so....

...teachers, I'm sorry but you have to go back to school. Forget the kids. Most kids love going back to school. It means new school supplies, new shoes, seeing friends on a daily basis. It's the teachers that are freaking out as school approaches. Yes, teachers--you have to go back. Inservices, classrooms without air conditioning and copier jams are awaiting your arrival.

"Back to school" is the time of year that I'm glad I don't have my summers off from work. Seriously. The angst eminating from teachers the week before school suggests it is not worth it. I'll just plug along on the 12 month schedule, thank you very much.

This is the wife's 29th year of teaching. Twenty nine years. (Man, that's a lot of student names.) After twenty nine years, you would think that seeing the "Back to School" sales would have no effect. But, they do. Oh, they do. It's bad enough when the ads start showing up right after July 4th, but to SEE the actual supplies is terrifying. The panic sets in. The truth permiates the soul. The fretting begins. I don't need a calendar to know what time of year it is--all I have to do is observe the wife. She's an educational calendar barometer. I can recognize the beginning of the year, mid-terms, return-after-Christmas-break, finals, end-of-summer, all by observing the wife.

Teachers are a kindred spirit, gathering in the break room, sharing student rosters and comparing schedules. They dust off the cobwebs and put on their teaching clothes. They lament the list of meetings and inservices demanding their attention. I'm sure they talk about what they did over the summer but I'd bet dollars to donuts that the conversation is about the classroom, room assignments, student rosters and in-service schedule, not about what happened in July.

Like I said, having to work year round has merit. There is no tongue in cheek here nor am I facetious. I'll stick to working year round. That culture shock is not worth the time off

My favorite quote this time of year is "It's in the syllabus." No kidding. I didn't think people really said that but they do. And, students--it really IS in the syllabus. The wife says she is going to get a t-shirt that says this and wear it to the first day of class.

I admit that I never once looked at a syllabus handed to me by my college professors. My focus was on how the first day of class--syllabus day--was going to be super-short. I just folded it in half and stuck it in the front of my text book. Don't tell that to the wife.... she spends hour upon hour developing syllabi for her classes. It truly does include everything a student needs to know. It is a work of syllabi art and yet... it goes unnoticed, unappreciated, unused. Students, you really do deserve to hear "it's in the syllabus" if you haven't looked at it.

I'm sure teachers as students loved going back to school. Hell, that's why they are teachers--they loved going to school. They are passionate about educating and love to educate students. For those of you teachers who are excited to see the end of summer, I salute you. For those of you teachers who are not excited to see the end of summer, I salute you, too. I salute your passion, your love of education, your willingness to serve our children, your desire to make a difference in the world.

As you start the school year, I wish you the best of luck.
I hope students read the syllabus and that they don't ask questions about that of which you just explained.
I pray no one pukes, poops or pees in your class room.
I ask the Universe to keep your classroom lice-free.
I wish you a stress free parent zone.
I envision you giving grades that are not challenged by student and parent alike.
I wish you bravery, strength and patience as you resume your educational efforts.
I support a vision of cell-phone-free classrooms.
May your pencils remains sharp and your "back of the head" seeing eye even sharper.
May the cheaters be few and the completed homework be plenty.

May the answer ever be in the syllabus.

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P.S. Here's a way to ensure your students aren't staring at their crotches (texting, of course) or cheating the electronic way.....