Our first trip was to the north woods of the Cheddarlands for a wedding. We made a two-car convoy and made sure eight people and their luggage got to the church on time. We stayed in a cabin on a little lake, safely tucked in what I attest was the middle of nowhere.
It was so nowhere that I thought we were in Minnesota but later learned we were in Wisconsin. Now, THAT's nowhere!
As the wife and I do not stay anywhere without indoor plumbing, it is safe for you to assume that there was indoor plumbing. It is also safe to assume that we did not stay somewhere rustic. We don't do rustic. Rustic is a three star hotel.
It was beautiful, fun was had by all and the brides looked stunning.....although, I must say that offering to stay in the bunk beds so others could have the full sized beds was a bad idea--note to self: before acting selflessly, consult with the wife.
I will offer that the food truck was amazing. You know I am all about the food. I liked that the tapas-spewing truck featured a masked wrestler. How could I resist doing an imitation?Okay, so that's a napkin on my face. This was a spontaneous happening. One does what one must do.
The second leg of our trip consisted of jumping in the Gaybors' car and heading to Kansas City. No food truck was featured but I can attest that much food was consumed.
If you've never been to Kansas City, I say: go. I have never been to a friendlier place....and, it was mighty tasty to boot. The friendliness bordered on being over-the-top ridiculous. Everyone smiles at you, says hi, is polite. Cars stop on a dime when you step off the curb. People let each other "in" when leaving a parking lot after a big event. People said, "excuse me" and "thank you" and "after you." It was kind of freaky at times. Try as we might, we really couldn't find anyone blatantly mean, grumpy or rude.
It was kinda like being at Disneyworld, where all the workers are fun and friendly and smiley and helpful and drinking the Mickey kool-aid. Well, maybe more like two Disneyworlds at one time--after all, there are TWO Kansas Cities. (I'll stick to the one in Missouri, no offense to Kansas.)
I'm sure everything is not sunshine and rainbows in KC but they did a good job hiding the yuckies while we were there. For instance, there were a whole lot of homeless people in Kansas City but even they looked pretty happy and certainly didn't interfere with our fun.
The food. Oh, the food. You may think Kansas City is all about meat products. Vegetarians, do not be afraid to enter the land of carnivores! I had the best, and I mean THE BEST veggie burger I've ever had in my entire life while in Kansas City.
The wife asked for a bite. She did not get a bite. I was not sharing this work of art.
I cannot describe what makes something the best. It is something that must be experienced. It cannot be put into words. The gaybors were stunned--I did not utter one word during dinner as I was too busy being enveloped in this most delicious culinary orgasm.
If that wasn't enough....the next day, I enjoyed what was BY FAR the best veggie dog I've ever had in my life. I dare not exaggerate. One does not exaggerate about a veggie dog, as those things aren't exactly tasty tidbits of healthy living. We were at a Royals game (front row, behind the dug out, baby!) and I thought it'd be worth a gander to see if they had veggie dogs. There's nothing like a hot dog at a ball game, so I was mighty happy to see they were selling veggie dogs AND there was YELLOW mustard, not that stupid brown mustard. (Dang cheeseheads, always using brown mustard. What is wrong with you?) There was no one ever in line at the concession stand, so there was never any waiting. It was like having your very own concession worker. I'm telling ya, it was weirdly wonderful.
When I ordered the veggie dog, I saw a bit of concern cross the cashier's face. "It'll take 15 minutes for a veggie dog." Since I wasn't in a hurry and I wasn't starving and as I was in a good mood from all this friendliness, I had no issue waiting. For the record, it only took 10 minutes. Usually, people nuke a veggie dog and call it a day. Not this place. They carefully placed it on a grill (most definitely tainted by some meat-by-product-laden sausage of one type or another) and cooked it the old fashioned way. It was bigger than your standard "are you kidding" small, chemical-looking veggie dog--in fact, it spilled over both sides of the bun--so, that made it even MORE worth the wait. I smothered that puppy in yellow mustard, took a bite and........I swear a tear came to my eye.
Never has a tastier veggie hot dog crossed these lips. I doubt another one ever will.
(One should never think too long about hot dogs, even veggie ones. For the "real" thing: Parts is parts and really no one knows what parts are parts of those parts. For the veggie kind, it's a long list of chemicals used on chemicals to make a fake chemical product. The truth hurts.)
I sound like a damn commercial. I guess I had a good time.
I'm not sure if it's kid-friendly, as we didn't have any kids with us nor did I pay attention to that kind of thing. They do have Dunkin' Donuts, so that greatly improves its overall score. The wife was impressed that they had a Church's Chicken (a story for a different day) and the gaybors were pleased to see a Jack in the Box. (Obviously, we do not have such places where we live.) The taxes on our purchases kinda sucked (almost 10% on the clothes I scored at the outlet mall), but that's not much to complain about when surrounded by such nice people. We did see some of the "more-poverty-ridden" areas, so it's not all so shiny and bubbly. It was super hot and I'm guessing they have a pretty hot and steamy summer year after year. I can't speak about if it's dog-friendly or not, as we didn't have the dogs along for the trip and we really didn't see that many dogs.........well, except for at the ball game, as it was "Bark at the Park" when we were there. There were dogs everywhere. Dogs got to walk the stadium warning track, hang out with their friends and even stay for the game. It was blazing hot (90 degrees at the start of the game, got hotter as the game went on), so I'm thinking there were hot dogs, veggie dogs AND very hot, four-legged dogs.
Any city that has veggie dogs and dog days at the ball park is okay with me.
The icing on the cake? Taking a potty break at the "World's Largest Truck Stop" on the way home." If you see something called the "world's largest," you should ALWAYS stop and take a gander. Always.
It was pretty impressive, especially for a truck stop. I find it hard to believe it is the WORLD'S largest, as it's a pretty big world out there, but who am I to argue? It seemed pretty large. I was able to pee as well as purchase some coffee, oatmeal and other sugar-laden products. I could have purchased a new outfit, a state-themed thimble, a sundae or even a VHS. I admit to being rather giddy while stopping at this place.....
Bottom line: Give me a road trip, the world's largest anything and a yellow mustard-smothered veggie dog and I'm good to go.
Just keep that brown mustard far away from me.....and, don't offer to take the bunk beds without talking first to the wife.
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