Happy Birthday, Freckles "Helen" Warrior Princess, 13 years young.  The wife and I cannot believe this dog is still kicking.  We originally guessed she'd be on the planet for 16 years, then changed our minds when she had her brush with death--we decided we'd be good with getting to ten years.  Although mostly blind and mostly deaf, this dog rocks and she most certainly could make it a few more rounds.

Recently, the wife and I were invited to go to friends' summer home.  Being the gracious hostesses that they are, our friends told us they would provide everything, including the food.  They asked if I wanted some veggie burgers; I assured them that was not necessary, as I can always find things to eat from the foods others are eating.  (I can usually feast on non-meat-ified side dishes, if nothing else.)  Besides, they said we'd be making shish-kabobs and those are always easy to modify for vegetarian needs.  I was so sure of the situation that I didn't even bring chocolate along for the trip.

Those who know me know that I cannot live without chocolate.  This is not an exaggeration--it is a bonafide addiction.  I'm not sure what possessed me to leave home without chocolate, as I am not kidding about taking it everywhere--I've held up lines in airports as the TSA tries to figure out what is in my carry on (Dove Dark Chocolates make for interesting x-rays, I guess), I've hidden bags of M&Ms so I wouldn't have to share them, I've planned for days how I can bring chocolate wherever I am going.  Why I decided this trip not to bring any is beyond me.

So, we get to the house and all is well.  It is absolutely delightful and it is wonderful to be with friends in such a stress-free setting.  As it is lunch time when we arrive, we are ushered into the house....

....and, that is when we learn our friends are on a five-day, "reset" liquid diet/cleanse.

We had NO idea that our friends would not be eating this weekend--heck, we had no idea that they would even consider a five day cleanse, let alone do such a cleanse on a vacation.  Who goes on vacation and sucks down nothing more than diet shakes? I mean, isn't that against the law? If it isn't, it should be.  And, if they aren't eating....what have they brought along for us to eat? I had envisioned a lot more than something that shoots out of a blender.

I was stymied about why they were providing the food when they weren't planning to eat any of it.

I surveyed the counter and didn't see anything but a mound of shake packets, four bags of chips, two bags of popcorn and a bunch of pears.  Now, I like a good chip now and then but I'm not a big fan.  I don't eat popcorn 'cuz it bothers my parts and I hate pears.  (I apologize to the pears of the world--I'm just not a fan.)  I saw a loaf of bread and a bag of giant fire-pit-sized marshmallows...I don't eat those, either but I do love bread.  I figured if marshmallows were on the premises, Hershey bars couldn't be far behind.  I cursed myself for (1) saying "no" to veggie burgers; and, (2) not bringing chocolate on the trip.   I found a 1/2 jar of peanut butter in the cupboard, so I whipped up a peanut butter and butter sandwich with a side of chips.  Good enough for jazz.  At least I didn't have to have one of those shakes.

The chocolate thing REALLY bothered me; in fact, I was on the verge of panic. I had found the Hershey bars but they were very limited in number and definitely had been set aside for s'more making.  I knew it would not be appropriate to break into the pack during the first hour at the house.  There was nothing else.  I was doomed.  Not only would I be eating peanut butter and butter sandwiches, I would be twitching on the ground, going through sugar withdrawal.

I hate to admit it, but in the wee hours of Saturday morning, in a moment of desperation, I dug through every drawer, every nook, every storage bin and the entire pantry.  I am pleased to say I hit the jackpot when I found a 1/2 bag of chocolate chips (probably from 2009).  A true addict, I opened that bag and shoveled them in.

And no, I did not share them.  In fact, I did not mention that I had found them or eaten any of them.  I made sure I'd have some for Sunday, too.

Suffice it to say, when it came time for s'mores, I was first in line.  I had several non-marshmallowed s'mores, weeping silently to have access to the chocolate that had taunted me.  I don't know what the hurry was, as our friends certainly weren't eating any.  While shoveling in s'more #3, I realized that it really would be okay to eat the extra chocolate bars.  Score! Breakfast was planned for tomorrow......

Who doesn't love a peanut butter, butter and chocolate bar sandwich?

I should have put some chips on the sandwich. That would have taken it to gourmet level.

I am pleased to report that a good time was had by all and that their liquid diet didn't really slow me down in the long run.  I suppose I should "do" something about this chocolate addiction but really have no motivation to do so; in fact, I have more motivation to go on a five day cleanse than address my chocolate consumption.

They did mention that one of the shake flavors was chocolate.....