Wrap This

It is said the number one thing couples argue about is money. (I know they also argue about the TV remote, channel surfing vs. not channel surfing, the temperature in the home and sex, but I'm not hear to talk about any of that--well, not this blog, anyways.)  The wife and I are no exception; in fact, it is probably the only thing we really argue about.  (Disclaimer: Yes, we are affectionately known as "The Bickersons," but that's because we bicker constantly and it's usually in good fun--an out-loud processing of our couple-dom thinking, differing communication styles and minor disagreements.)  Christmas and birthdays bring out the best of arguments.  With the holiday season upon us, our differing views on money are in red-hot mode.

Suffice it to say we disagree mainly on how much money to spend on gifts (total cost per person) and who actually should be getting gifts. Please do not misconstrue what I write...the wife is not Scrooge-like; it's that she is thoughtful, practical, fiscally-prudent and from a whole different world than the one in which I was raised.  Is has nothing to do with generosity--the wife is a very generous person.  She's just a wise owl who'd like to have a nest egg, whereas I just hope I have a nest in which to squat some day. Whereas I think you have to spend $50 per family person these days, she would say $30 was plenty and maybe even too much.  (This is retail value, by the way--if she can get it at a discount store for $10 and it's $30 value, it counts as $30. To me, it means I have $20 dollars to spend.)  You can see how this can lead to more than a bicker now and then.

Don't even get us started on co-workers.  I am a boss to 12 people this year (down from a high of 27--shoo!).  I want to give each of them something because I value their work and effort. I also find it the right thing to do in the Christmas spirit. The wife says I should give little or even nothing, again not because she is full of the Grinch but because she is wise with her money and knows the spending needs to stop somewhere.

There is no fiscal cliff in our house besides the one I am going to be thrown off if I spend too much money.

I've been fretting how much to spend for my minions and prefer to give gift cards; after all, I don't want to give someone making minimum wage a box of cheap, waxy chocolate they don't want, stuffed in an over-sized holiday mug they'll never use.  Giving a gift card, though, means you have to really think about it....it is what it is. That box of chocolate in a mug might cost $5.00 but no one really knows how much it is.  A gift card has the number right on it.  Because of our banter and because I'm still fretting, nary a work gift has been purchased.

As for when to "cut" people off of the gift list, I'm going to have to consult with a professional--my mother.  I never really thought about it until we started arguing about when you stop buying relatives (mainly the "kids" such as nieces and nephews) presents.  I thought it was NEVER.  You never stop.  She says the cut off is age 18.  I was mortified by this.  This is a new argument, as "my" three nieces are now 19, 18 and 16. We didn't have to think about this before and I had no idea she had an approach like this. She had no idea I didn't think you stop giving presents after age 18. I have NO plans of EVER stopping the gift train. The gift train, in her mind, has pulled into the station and come to a stop. I can tell you that this is going to be a bone of contention.  Again, she's just being practical and money wise and is probably right.  I probably should listen to her but I just can't....

The wife: When did your aunts and uncles stop giving you presents?

Me: Huh.  I dunno. (I really don't.  I never thought about it.)

The wife: See? They stopped giving you presents.

Me: But, two of these three are our god children!  You can't stop giving to your god children! And you can't just give to two of the three!

The wife: when did your god parents stop giving to you?

Me: (glaring, because this is an unfair argument. I throw the yellow FOUL flag. She accepts the infraction and focuses on herself.)

The wife: My god parents stopped when I turned 18.  So did my aunts and uncles.

Me: Well, I'm not stopping.

The wife: (Silence.)

Me: (Silence.)


The wife: (Silence.)

Me: (Silence.)

The wife: (Silence.)

Me: (Silence.)

Did I mention that our arguments tend to be REALLY quiet in nature?

And so, I bought the presents for my side of the family and she bought the presents for her side of the family and guess what? The total was the same.

So, to me the point is mute. To her, I spent way too much money because my family is so much smaller. In the end, we'll both be happy and our nieces and nephews will be happy and my co-workers will be somewhat happy (no matter what I give them, several will find it not enough--ingrates) and we'll all have a great Christmas.

...well, as long as she stays away from my checkbook and I stay away from hers, it truly will be a very Merry Christmas.....