Don't Put Your Lips on It

Seems that I have caught a cold.  It's a pretty lame cold, as far as colds go--I have been "low grade, not very miserable" version, thankfully not "oh-my-god-this-is-the-worst-cold-ever" cold, like some of my co-workers have experienced in the past few weeks.  Everyone at work is sick with some form of disgusting virus or bacteria: I've been dodging Swine Flu, Bronchitis, puking flu, Strep Throat, Pneumonia, regular-non-swine flu, sinus infections, tonsillitis and the common cold. Poor MJagger's household has been swimming in germs for the past three months--they've had everything but the Bubonic Plague and I'm not sure they didn't have that, too.  They've been to the ER, the walk-in, the regular doctor's office and her manly peep was even hospitalized with pneumonia. That's a houseful of germs. (Side note: I am especially grateful to "only" have a cold because I am in MJagger's office more than I am in my own and I use her computer all the time...if there is one thing that has germs, it's a keyboard.  I also use her phone, which is another germ fest. I refused to get MJagger's illnesses.  Seriously.  I refused. I told the Universe that I wasn't having any of that nonsense and I haven't. Thank you, baby jesus and thank you, Universe!)

I'm pretty pleased with my "decision" to go with the cold.  I've been trying not to brag, as I was one of the few left that hadn't caught anything, and I've been putting out thoughts of good health, so I am not too distraught over my "failure" to avoid all illness-producing germs.  Besides, my cold pales in comparison to those around me--I've seen co-workers just about accidentally blow their brains out with bionic sneezing, while others have missed days of work with their version of the wheezing and sneezing cold.  Me? I've gotten away with a 12 hour period of a scratchy throat, followed by 12 hours of non-stop watering eyes...five days of fuzzy thinking with an accompanying feeling of being on the verge of not feeling very good but feeling good enough to do whatever I wanted, a fever that never got above 99 degrees, a bout of ongoing but not copious clogginess and.....a cold sore. This cold sore thing was a complete surprise to me as I almost never, ever get a cold sore; in fact, I can't remember the last time I had one.  As a kid, I used to get canker sores but I rarely ever get those now that I'm an adult (knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood). I'm a pretty "sore-free-mouth" kind of girl, so I'm not sure what to do with this thing developing on my lower lip.

The placement of my developing cold sore makes it suspect.  I thought it was a cold sore--after all, I have a cold--but, the wife thinks it might be a canker sore.   It's on my lower lip but it's more on the inside of the lip than not.  Further review suggests it's like an innie-outie belly button--it's kind of inside but kind of outside. The wife's statement that it looked like a canker sore made me think: what the hell IS the difference between a canker sore and a cold sore? A quick jaunt on the Internet suggests that a cold sore is caused by a virus and the canker sore is not. Cold sores are on the outside of your lips and canker sores are on the inside.  Cold sores are contagious and canker sores are not.  Cold sores can lead to some mighty big problems (think Herpes on your naughty bits), while cold sores usually stick to making you miserable and then don't give the gift that keeps on giving.

That said, I'm still not sure what I have.  All I know is that I should not touch my lips and then touch my naughty bits.

As with everything, I turned to Book de la Face for help regarding my cold/canker sore.  My proclamation regarding the development of a cold sore led to many interesting suggestions, of which a few are illustrated here.  Ear wax and toothpaste were also mentioned.  I really got some good ideas here and will be taking this up with my local pharmacy later on in the day.  If it were a canker sore, I would go get some Milk of Magnesia and swish it around, just like my mother taught me to do as a child.  I'm not sure how I'd swish it around considering the placement of this thing but I'd give it the old college try.  I'm probably not going to try putting my own earwax on the thing (and am certainly not put the dog's earwax on it) but I'm might try a bit of OTC TLC. Whatever I do, I won't be kissing you and I won't be touching anything important.

If you come to my place of employment, I suggest you don a mask, gloves and haz-mat suit.  Although we seem to be approaching the end of the work-place plague, it's always better to be safe than sorry.  Do not shake anyone's hand, do not kiss anyone, do not lick anyone's keyboard.  Douse yourself in hand sanitizer and bleach when you leave.  On second thought, just stay home and far away from my co-workers. And, whatever you do, do not kiss me and then touch your naughty bits.  Just sayin.'