Doing the Right Thing

I am so proud of our niece that I could just burst.

(Of course, I am proud of all our nieces.  It's just that for this story, I speak of Eldest Niece.)

Our three fabulous, talented nieces were bowling in the State Bowling Tournament Finals today. (That's kind of redundant--they wouldn't be bowling if it weren't a bowling tournament.)  What an amazing story--three sisters on one high school team.  Even more amazing: their mom (my sister) is one of the two coaches.  Three sisters bowling for one high school......

.....I thought that sounded pretty news-worthy--after all, how many times does one see three sisters on the same state tournament team? Alas, I have yet to see the story in print or on the news.  Of course, you are now reading about it in this blog, so at least that is a start.

Back to the point.

I was taking photos of the three nieces in front of the State Tournament Banner when a coach from another high school team approached me.  "Excuse me, are these your daughters?" 

I laughed and told them, "no, they are my nieces!  Here's the proud dad, tho."  I pointed to my brother-in-law,who happened to be standing next to me, taking some photos, too.

The coach pointed out Eldest niece and spoke to us of how she had fouled during her approach and had enough sportsmanship, enough honesty, enough integrity to report it.  The coach said, "no one saw that she fouled.  She threw a strike.  None of us knew.  But, she turned and reported that foul.  That is an amazing young woman.  I was so impressed I reported it to the officials.  She should be recognized for this." 

Let's think about that.  You are a high school senior in THE State bowling tournament.  You want to win so badly you can taste it.  You're going along, doing okay, keeping up with the pack.  You need every pin you can get. You know it's now or never. During the third game, you throw a strike...and foul on the approach....you turn, walk back.....and, alert the coaches & official of the foul on the approach.

No buzzers went off. 
No lights flashed. 
Nothing on the scoreboard showed. 
No one saw it. 
No one knows about it......

...but, you do.

Do you do the right thing and report it? Or, do you think, "no one saw that, so who cares?" 

Well, my sister and brother-in-law have raised some fine, upstanding young ladies and I'll tell you what Eldest Niece did: she did the right thing.

Eldest niece reported the foul.   

I want to thank that coach for noticing, for actually caring about sportsmanship, about recognizing Eldest Niece's honesty and subsequent action.  So often, coaches just want to win and to cut down their opponents, sportsmanship be damned.  I want to thank this coach for taking the time to seek out this bowler's parents and letting them know how impressed he was, for recognizing the integrity with which she had been raised. I want to thank him for giving her recognition.


You know the best part?  I know Eldest Niece didn't even have to think twice about it.  That makes me even prouder.


Now, for the rest of the story.....


...unfortunately, Eldest niece didn't make the cut for tomorrow's Singles Finals.  Although she hung in there, she was just shy of making the cut.  One of her teammates made it.  One of her friends made it.  She narrowly, oh so narrowly missed her ultimate goal.  

You know what she lost by?

You guessed it.


That strike.


That strike on which she fouled.

That strike on which she fouled and reported.

I am sure it absolutely, positively sucks to be her right now.  She burst into tears right after they read off the list of finalists and then announced the total pins that had determined the cut off.  She melted down right before our eyes. It is already hard enough to be a teenage.  It is awful to be a teenage girl in a bowling tournament (I swear there are girls crying everywhere at those things).  I am sure it is even worse by a billion-fold to do the right thing and then lose something because you did the right thing.


But, you know what say to her?

"You did the right thing. I am so proud of you. There is nothing more honorable than doing that.  You are a true winner.  You did what so many others would not have done.  I know you would have done the right thing even if you knew it would cost you something you wanted very dearly."

You know, I don't know if I would have done the right thing.  I am very much about sportsmanship; in fact, I put it in front of winning.  It makes the wife crazy.  (It makes anyone who has to be on my team crazy.  Don't even get me started about intramural volleyball in college!) I don't have that competitive-winning-is-everything gene.  I like to win, don't get me wrong.  I like to win a lot.  It's just that I don't want to win in an unsportsmanlike fashion.  I won an award in college for sportsmanship.  I won an award in high school for  sportsmanship-related behavior.  I take it seriously.  Even so.....

......I'm not sure I would be as big a person as my niece was today. I know I'd at least think, "if no one saw it, it's all good--I'm not saying a word."   I know I wish I could say definitively that I would do the right thing if faced with the same situation....but, I can't tell you that.


I am so very, very proud of her.  I get tearful just thinking about it!


And so, on this very painful day in a world of teenage angst, this awful day of hurt and tears, this day that probably feels like the end of the world, I tell her that doing the right thing is worth more than any trophy she could ever win.

Good job, nieces!  We ooze with love and pride for you.
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