Kiddies All Right or Not?

The wife, the gaybors and I went to see a movie over the weekend. You can guess which movie we went to see by looking at the title of this blog entry. The film writer happened to write/make one of my all time favorite movies ("High Art," which is really dark and depressing, so don't watch it if you are taking anti depressants or Quaaludes or if you are working a 12 step program), so I had high hopes. Being the big gaywad that I am, I had even higher hopes--how can you go wrong with Annette & Julianne as a long-term couple in suburban-eque America?

Imagine my surprise when I only kinda/sorta liked the movie.

I really, really like this Pablo Lobato illustration of the movie, as displayed on the New Yorker web page. Love it. In fact, I like this illustration a lot more than I liked the movie.

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER ALERT!

If you don't want to hear any more about the movie, you should stop reading, go rent "High Art" and wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

I have "High Art" on video if you'd like to borrow it. If you don't mind hearing more about the kids (all right or not), you may proceed.

Don't get me wrong--there were things about the movie I liked/appreciated. For instance:

• There were several "strong performances" by the actors involved.
• The movie was not in 3-D, so that was a huge bonus (it does indeed seem the summer of 3-D, don't you think?).
• I like both actresses in general, so having both of them star in the same movie was fabulous.
• I loved their costumes--the clothes & jewelry were perfect.
• I loved Annette's hair. What a queer!
• I loved that they made the characters/couple "normal," per se--normal problems, normal struggles.
• I liked the sound track, although I'm not a big Joni Mitchell fan (no offense to all you Joni fans).
• I like that it was about relationships, a bigger picture of what could have been very sterotypical.

Before I babble on, I have to say this: I want all of you to go out and see this movie so we can then talk about it. We'll have a lot to talk about. Maybe it will be like Madonna's last album--first few listens, I wasn't impressed....a few weeks later, it was my favorite Madonna album of all time. (It's almost Madonna's birthday. Gotta get her in the blog in honor of her upcoming day.) I believe this movie will win awards when Oscar comes to town, so I think that will give us even more to talk about. Is this a lame movie or a great movie or just-another-movie or what?

Now Kiddies, answer me this: please tell me why these two characters are watching male N.R.O.P (spelled backwards with punctuation to prevent you from having problem with spam and/or setting off alarms at work). I cannot for the life of me fathom this...am I missing something here? Do I need to update our DVD collection? Am I an old and crusty prude? Am I really just a heterosexual male in wolf's clothing? Are the wife and I going to be "fired" from our community? Is this what my friends are doing at home and not telling me?

Sorry to say, I am unaware of any of my friends sitting around watching yag. norp.

That's pretty funny--yag norp. I think I am going to start saying that. "Oh, my yag norp is killing me!" "Has anyone seen my yag norp? I thought it was next to the soy sauce." "Have you heard that new band Yag Norp's new album?"

Secondly....why is Julianne having you-know-what with a man?

(Again, not using the "S" word so you don't have to worry about Internet woes, not because I am a prude. I'd say something like doing. the. nasty. but I'm afraid that might cause trouble for you, too.) Is this activity a means of catering to the straight males that got dragged to the movie by their wives, is it a nod to the fluidity of orientation or a commentary on the merits of a gay woman having relations with a male and still calling herself whatever she wants? I applaud the writer for being open minded and illustrating that an affair is an affair is an affair no matter who you are affair-ing with...male or female. In the big picture, it doesn't really matter with whom you are doing the nasty, as you are still doing the nasty.

I have to wonder: is it plausible a gay woman would want to have relations with the man who provided the "needed material" for making a baby? I am SO going to have to ask my friends who have used the service. Why not get what you need the old fashioned way if you want to know the donor? Save a lot of money, you know. Turkey basters are cheap. ha ha!

Let's face it: I thought this was going to be a "man-banging-free" lesbanese relationship movie. I am a wee-bit ashamed. I'm having a sad, shallow case of heterophobia.

We as members of the Addiverse should worry much more about what my Tea-party-peeps are saying about the president than pondering some Hollywood movie. These very politically active people (I do indeed celebrate their passion for our country) are posting stuff all over the internet indicating that....

.....the president is a gay, bath- frequenting Marxist Muslim who was not born in America.

A Chicago bath house, no less! I love Chicago. That Chi-town bath house should be uber-excited about all the free press it is getting due to the Conservatives frothing at the mouth about all this.

It's not enough to be just one of these things--he is the whole package! I knew I liked him. Of course, this is all news to me. I thought he was playing pick up games of basketball, not pick up games of....well, pick up games.

Why worry about summer movies or the economy when we can focus on such "news?"

Here's the real question I pose as I end this posting: why didn't someone think to make a lebanese movie with the lead female character doing the wild thang with a gay president? THAT'S a movie I'd like to see.....