Don't Tread on Me

Dearest blog reader, where DID the week go? I guess I spent more time shining my class ring (bling bling! in preparation for the upcoming reunion), visualizing Larry Lump's departure, avoiding BP gas and picking out a new "incoming work call" ring tones than I realized. I also tried to start a new blog for "easy reunion reference" but after spending an entire evening fighting with it (cutting and pasting does not work well in this format), I gave up and left the new site with a half-assed page and nothing done. Perhaps tomorrow.

Perhaps not.

I think I shall speak of the dogs, as it's always about the dogs in the Addiverse. (Well, about the dogs or Madonna. It's a toss up.) Here is a photo of Freckles doing the "Stair Stare." Freckles is not one ounce amused by this particular upgrade to the house. She already had enough trouble going up and down stairs (if you actually watch her, you'd notice she hugs the wall on the right when going either direction--maybe she's blind in her left eye and needs her right eye to keep her straight and narrow) and now this. No, there is no carpet runner to be had, so she is so on her own....

....well, not really. I now carry her down the stairs. This may end up being a bad idea, as we all know my history. I will make sure to have bare feet (for sure footing--socks are like a lethal weapon on finished wooden stairs) and one hand on the railing when carrying her (she'll have to deal with not being along the right wall). In effort to ensure our safety, please do not envision us flying through the air. Please keep us grounded and safe in the Universe's eye.

Perhaps slipper socks with those little gripper things on the bottom are in order for my birthday.

The new stairs are indeed quite beautiful, so it's all good. They are not as slippery as I thought they might end up being, so that's also good. As I am still concerned for our safety (me and Freckles, that is--Lucy and the wife have it goin' on), I ordered some "stair treads," little carpet squares which are guaranteed not to slide, even though they are not tacked or glued down. Sounds way too good to be true, but after reading a bazillion reviews regarding stair treads (I did almost as much research about stair treads as I did about getting my new tires, so that says a LOT), I thought I'd give them a try. The wife approved the aesthetics of the said treads and I'll be the judge if they will work or not. I am hoping that the treads will encourage Freckles to walk down the stairs, although I am rather skeptical, as the treads won't be near the right side--they are in the middle. In the ten years we've had her, I don't think I've ever seen Freckles walk down the middle of the stairs, so this might be all for naught.

I thought about getting a really light colored-tread that would really help her discern the different steps--she also has a hard time seeing and the wood all blends into one big blog, I am sure--but, figured that wouldn't work because they'd get dirty fast (due to my feet, not her paws). I went with "toast" for the color. We'll see how that goes, too.

The wood floor installation has come to a grinding halt, as the wife has decided (mid- game) she wants to put wood floors in the entire upstairs and that means the wood has to be ordered, which will take about a month to arrive. (She must have good or weird taste--I'm not sure which--as the wood has to be special ordered.) This means we are now living in flooring limbo, as one bedroom and the stairway are done, but the hallway is not....as the hallway carpeting was ripped out in preparation for what was supposed to be finished in the original project....and, as the hallway cannot be done at this time until the bedroom is done at the same time, we are walking on cardboard boxes (flattened out and taped down, of course), which is on top of the particle board. I'm not sure how the wife will survive this, as she really doesn't like half-done things--she likes neat and tidy.....

....This is not a neat and tidy time in her life: boxes of wood are lined up in the kitchen, rooms are half done, Freckles nails make all sorts of noise on the cardboard (she wanders in circles at night), furniture isn't where it is supposed to be, nothing is exactly where is belongs. Pray for her, dearest blog readers. She is going to need it.

Poor Lucy does not mind the stairs whatsoever, but she is having one nasty case of gastro-intestinal distress that she is almost beside herself. She looks so sad and her belly keeps making all these awful noises. We won't even talk about what shot out of her butt last night--we took turns getting up with her--and she left us pretty gifts of vomit earlier in the evening. I think going to the groomer yesterday was just too much for her--ever since that dog attack a few weeks back, Lucy hasn't been the same when she sees other dogs (even Bitty Bichon makes her crazed). I suppose she could have eaten something weird along the way...the cause doesn't really matter, as long as she ends up fine in the long run (and as long as she doesn't vomit on the new wooden floor in the bedroom). Thankfully, I think her insides are pretty well emptied now, so we should have a few diarrhea-free hours. On a positive note, she looks great--the groomer always does an awesome job....too bad she reeks of vomit now, as she smelled so fresh and pretty upon her arrival home from her spa day. You know it's not a good day when Freckles smells better than Lucy.

Saturday, beautiful Saturday. Today will be spent congratulating Cheeseball Neighbor (whose softball team is crushing people like bugs and who has been named Coach of the Year--again--what a woman!), visualizing the complete and total departure of Larry Lump, grocery shopping (what am I thinking--going to the store on a holiday weekend?), watching the wife mow the lawn/wash & wax the cars/attempt to organize the house and working on that reunion blog page. I affirm this day will not involve cleaning puke or diarrhea, I promise to spend one hour or less on Book de la Face, I will plan ahead so I don't have to go up or down the news stairs unless absolutely needed. It's warm, it's sunny, it's the perfect day. The wife is already outside mowing the lawn, so Larry and I best get moving. Just watch where you step in the Addiverse today....

...shiny stairs, means stares and accidental bodily canine functions have been forecast. Happy Memorial Day Weekend!