Out of Control


Janet Jackson and she's in Control.
Me? Not so much.

This album by Ms. Nasty, by the way, was awesome. It features "What Have You Done for Me Lately?" and "Nasty," both of which had killer videos on MTV (back when MTV actually played videos). Big (BIG!) hair, big coats, big dancing. If you have a few minutes, check out this NINE minute video from Janet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EleKwkt_fU Don't you dare click on this link to you've paid appropriate homage to the Addiverse, though.

Ah, 1986: I was an orthodontic assistant, I had platinum blonde hair with a foot long tail ('Til Tuesday, anyone?), I was MTV loving, tattoo-free, beer-drinking carnivore and I was in control......

....well, not really, but at the time and at that age it seemed like I was in control of everything. Besides, when you are twenty-something, you are too stupid and naive to realize you are really in control of absolutely nothing. (In 1986, the wife was still in college. Boy, that puts things into perspective for me.) Those were the days of softball leagues, softball tournaments, softball drama, softball intra-team dating, softball injuries, softball road trips.

Did I mention I played softball in 1986?

Top Gun was the hot movie, the Chicago Bears were in their glory, we were walking like Egyptians with the Bangles and one of my all time favorite songs ("Kiss" by Prince) was playing over and over on the radio. I liked 1986. Well, most of it.

Here we are, camping in 1986. I think this is the last time the wife and I ever went camping, as the wife really hates to camp. Talk about being out of control--camping is one big uncontrolled festival. (Not quite out of control as those short shorts with hi-tops. Yum.)

Things have really seemed out of my control in the Addiverse, especially at that place of which I do not speak. And, as it is in the Universe, the more in control I try to be, the more out of control everything gets. Funny how that works.

And, so here I sit, trying to get some control. In the meantime, I've literally just burned the biscuits. Damn.

Because my attempts to control everything/something/one thing in my life seem to have fallen on the Universe's deaf ears, I've decided to surrender and take a "First step" approach: the Addiverse is unmanageable and I'm pretty powerless about the whole thing.

Universe, I am waving the big, white flag!

Powerless and looking around for that long lost higher power. Hmmmm, I know I saw him sometime last year....behind the sofa? At the Madonna concert? On the lawn mower when I blew it up? In the recycling bin with the Bible I threw away/wife recycled? On the ice cream truck that drove down the street a few weeks ago? This powerless thing isn't going to work if I can't find my misplaced higher power. Okay, so I'll wave the white flag and surrender with the hopes that the Higher power will see me waving the big white flag and thus he'll/she'll/it'll come back to stay with me for awhile.

Just so we are clear: I am NOT seeking the Jiving Jesus.

I'm hoping my "new I'm-not-in-control-I'm-powerless-I surrender" approach will help.....

.....um, I was going to say "my new approach will help gain control in the Addiverse" but that would mean I really hadn't surrendered to anything, now would it?

Forget it. I'm gonna go get my Janet Jackson C.D. and do a nasty dance. At least if I'm gonna feel out of control, I'm gonna have fun with the in-control Janet Jackson while doing it.
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P.S. Yeah, Wild mama for such a quick recovery!
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