Attitude of Gratitude


Shout out to Tall Ori and Little Ori, with the hopes you find your Dori.

I am a pathetic slug.

(No offense to the slugs of the world)

Some of you are thinking, "You just figured that out?" while others are thinking, "what the heck are you talking about?"

I am here to confess my horrifically lazy ways and to pay a debt of gratitude to the wife. It IS Thanksgiving, after all, and that's what got me to thinking. I am really grateful to and for the wife. I am thankful for her and for all she does around the house & in my life.

I was in the shower (where I do my best thinking and where I had just figured out that my beloved lady chiropractor is 26 years old and where I realized that I'm not really sure the Posh Spice Pixie is really for me) and started thinking about how grateful I am for the wife, Favre-a-roid and all. This led to me recognizing what a pathetic slug I truly am. It is my penance to publicly humiliate myself and to publicly declare my gratitude to the wife and...well and....change my pathetic ways, as pathetically impossible sounding as that might be.

• During the time it takes me to write a blog entry, the wife has washed & waxed all three cars, "swiffer-ized" the entire house, changed the furnace filter and re-filled the water softener.
  
• While I am pondering whether to have oatmeal or cold cereal for dinner, the wife has emptied the dishwasher, started a load of laundry, vacuumed the upper level, changed the dog water and paid the bills.
  
• While I am trying to decide what to wear tomorrow, she has mowed the lawn, edged the sidewalk, cleaned the interior of all three cars, made a crock pot meal and has written yet another power point presentation, talked to the neighbors and taken out the trash.
• While I am doing my Leslie Sansone walking tapes, the wife has watered the plants, cleaned up the salt & little grounds of coffee I spilled (AGAIN), finished the wash, changed the sheets, scrubbing-bubbled the shower, put gas stabilizer in the mowers, checked her email and washed the tile floors by hand.
  

If you think I am kidding or exaggerating, you do NOT know the wife.

I'd love to say I do my share around the house but this is not even remotely true. I vacuum once a week, I clean "my" bathroom when I notice spots of food particles on the mirror (bad flossing incidents), empty the dryer lint trap whenever I empty the dryer and iron my own clothes. I do the grocery shopping but that only happens once every two weeks so I'm not sure that should count. Blogging doesn't pay any money (not yet, at least), so it's not like I can say I am doing something for the good of the household (beyond providing free therapy to me, which I suppose does save us money). I help bathe the dogs when they smell like vomit and I do love a good snow-blowing episode but how often do I need to snow blow in the spring, summer or fall?

I'd love to say I am going to change my ways, but I know this might not be as true as I'd like it to be. I DID make a resolution in 1997 that I would ALWAYS change the toilet paper roll any time it was empty and I have stuck to this resolution to this day, so I know I can mend my ways. I think I'll start small. In the Twelve Step program, they stay admitting you have a problem is the first step, so I guess I am on my way to Step One. I will start by posting this blog entry and admitting my character defects. From there, it might be folding the clothes or putting my belongings away or even--gasp!--changing the furnace filter.....

Until then, I express my true heart-felt gratitude to the wife and wish her a very thank-filled Thanksgiving. Thank you. Please know that you are loved & appreciated. Gobble Gobble!