End of the Road for the Mold Mobile?

Ah, the poor "Mold Mobile." Our "third car" used to be called the "Pee Wee Mobile," as it's the car we use to drag the dogs around town, but with the advent of multiplying mold growth....

....and with the dripping of water onto the occupants of the car while driving down the road.....

....and with the upholstery slowly sagging down toward the interior of the car.....

....the name had to be changed.

Yes, that's mold in the photo. That's just a taste of what it looks like in the interior of the Mold Mobile. Tasty. Bet that kills a bunch of brain cells and sinus pockets when we drive around town. I'm always terrified when we ride around in the Mold Mobile and have to keep the windows closed.

The problem with the car (well, besides the very obvious mold problem) is that it leaks. I don't mean a little. I mean pours-buckets-leaking. Unfortunately, it leaks in more than one place, without rhyme or reason. Sometimes, water pours in through the roof (leading to mold as illustrated above). Sometimes, it pours through the driver side dashboard area, flooding the foot pedal area. Sometimes, it drips onto the passenger seat. Other times, it doesn't leak at all.

It's enough to drive the wife to drink.

The Mold Mobile has been very good to us....until recently (well, unless you count the mold as not being good to us, but until now, we've tried to overlook the fungus amongus). We now have the "Mystery Beeping Horn Mold Mobile," which is quite irritating to both the wife and neighborhood. For no known reason, the horn will start sounding as if the car is being broken in to by some neighborhood thug. The wife goes outside, turns it off, comes back inside......

.....BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

We realize that it's probably water-logged, moldy wiring that is the culprit but aren't exactly sure what to do about it. No sense in fixing something that is just going to get soaked again and since we haven't stopped the leaking, the water will keep coming and the mold will keep growing.....

Do we shoot the Mold Mobile and put it out of its misery? It runs perfectly and the wife has invested much money in it over the years, so we are wary of calling it a day. We hate the thought of being without the much-beloved third car. We hate the thought of the wife trying to tool around the winter in a Mustang. We hate the thought of putting all those extra miles on our cars. It's not like we can actually sell it (even though it runs well--who the hell do you sell a mold mobile to?). We can't exactly stuff the dogs into the Mustang (oh, the sacrilege!). Yet.....

....who really wants to put money into something called "The Mold Mobile?"

My real question is this: What does one do when they want to "get rid of" a Mold Mobile? Do you donate it to science? Do you try to pawn it off on some unsuspecting not for profit agency? Do you push it out into traffic and hope for the best? Do you spray an anti- fungal product in the interior and wait for the mold to die, THEN try to pawn it off on someone else? Do you give it to a relative or someone who doesn't have a car? Do you use it to harvest penicillin? Do you pull the battery out and leave the car in the driveway, just ignoring it for the time being?

....You know, maybe that's why Freckles has yeast infections on her skin. Her problem isn't allergies--it's the Mold Mobile.......

I'll keep you informed on what transpires with the end of the road for the Mold Mobile. Until then, all suggestions and smart-alecky comments welcomed......