Earthquakes and Milkshakes

Here is a book. If you are tired of reading my blog, you should read this book. Of course, I hope you keep reading my blog AND read this book on the side. I find it to be a very good book and I like the way she writes. If you don't like the way I write, you probably won't like the way she writes but what do I know? Did any of you feel the earthquake today? We sure didn't. The dogs didn't even stir. People at work said they felt the rumbling but I think it was their stomachs or bowels or something. Mighty unusual for an earthquake in these parts. I hear it was at 4:39 or so AM. I went to work, arriving at 6:15 AM and asked the people at the site if they had felt the earthquake. They looked at me like I had three heads. I immediately made them turn on the TV, as to prove my sanity. Nope, none of them had felt the earthquake....

Today, while eating lunch with MJagger, Ciabatta bread and the wife (after the earthquake, of course, of which they did not feel, either), the subject of our refrigerator came up. This may seem a strange, mundane subject, but you haven't seen our frig. Seems we aren't like "real" people and don't have much in our frig. The wife and I never really thought about it--we thought all people had frigs that looked like this on the inside:
Who needs more than a few bottles of water, a couple cans of pop and little orange juice??!! MJagger openly admits she opens our frig when she comes over to let the dogs out because it makes her laugh. The wife admits that she is always amazed when she looks in other people's refrigerators because there is always so much food in them. How do other people know when to go shopping if there is all that food in there?

By the way, in case you are wondering about the freezer, it's basically a bag of Dove Dark Chocolate, a bag of some frozen chicken product, some baking soda and some plastic ice cube fish things:Usually, there are a lot of frozen fake products for vegetarians in the freezer, but I go shopping tomorrow, so even I have to admit that things are pretty sparse at the moment. I suppose if you are hungry, we are not the place to be. Don't worry, though--I have a stash of protein bars and coffee, so it's not like we are going to go hungry or die of scurvy:
Also, I stopped by the Chocolate shoppe in town and got some really fancy chocolates today, so I am really good to go.....unless I want some real food or ice cream. Are these some decadent chocolates or what? God love that man who makes these. I bought the pyramid shaped one for the wife. Step away from the other ones because THEY--ARE--MINE!
Since there's not a lot of food in the house and as I was feeling a need for ice cream, I asked the dogs if they'd like to go for a ride in the car. This actually led to one photo of Freckles with her eyes almost OPEN:You can see she is tipping her head sideways while listening to me, as if to check if I am teasing or not. She understands that I may be kidding but is hoping not. Lucy, on the other hand, is all over the word CAR: "WHAT? DID YOU SAY CAR?" Add "ICE CREAM" to the word "CAR" and Lucy almost gives birth. The dogs start running around like they are possessed. It's almost impossible to get them in the car because they are so excited about going in the car.

The wife notes that it is raining out. In fact, it is now pouring. We--those on an ice cream mission--are not deterred by a little pouring rain. After all, ice cream is more important than some torrential downpour. (At least it wasn't another earthquake.) We did indeed get pretty soggy on the way to the car and soggy dogs never smell good and the Saturn is leaky buckets of rain but we proceeded as planned. The wife didn't want any ice cream and she didn't want to go out in the rain. What fun is she, anyways?

Lucy knows that the people at the Dairy Queen are going to give her a "puppy cup" and she is all about that. Freckles tries to remain indifferent as I drive up to to the window but I can see she is watching out of the corner of her eye to see if a puppy cup is indeed making its way into the car. The lady says the magic words, "Would your dogs like some puppy cups?" and Lucy almost falls off the seat. YES! YES! YES!

For the record, I got a Chocolate X-treme blizzard but it was not very chocolate-ty at all and it certainly wasn't extreme. In fact, it was the worst Chocolate X-treme blizzard I have ever eaten. It was like vanilla ice cream with a few chunks of chocolate in it. I'm not kidding. Woof. If I had noticed before driving away, I would have handed it back and said, "Um, this is supposed to have chocolate in it." Next time, I'll look before I drive away. It almost wasn't worth going out in the rain but I really wanted some ice cream. Next time it better be almost black with chocolate.

Anyways, here is Lucy enjoying her puppy cup:
If you look closely, you can see the ice cream on her chin:Pretty funny stuff. Pretty tasty stuff.

Finally, I am proud to announce that I indeed did "Poop for Peace" today. So did the dogs. I am assuming the wife did, too but I am not asking her. You can ask her. Not me. Maybe that really wasn't an earthquake at all but rather a whole bunch of people pooping for peace at the same time....

I end with words from my wild mama, an email from tonight:
"Hey, what's with this "poop day." I've got a story to tell you, actually two stories. Is there something about not flushing on Poop Day? I went to the bathroom on my break and some lady must have shed 12 pounds -- and didn't flush. It was gross. I hit the flusher (with my foot) and used the other stall. After work, I stopped in again as I was going to the store and here again, the toilet is filled beyond description. I actually stopped to think, did I walk into the man's bathroom instead??? Again I hit the flusher with my foot and used the other stall. What's with these broads? And what do they eat? And they must have hemorrhoids out the gazzoo to pass that huge amount."

That's my mama!