State of the Dogs....and other tidbits on a Tuesday

Oprah's on TV right now talking about menopause. Oh goody! The wife was going to change the channel until I reminded her that this would be a topic of interest...to both of us, like it or not...so, we are spending the afternoon pointing at each other saying, "that's you," followed by the other saying, "that's you." Thanks to the wife for pointing out my worsening acne. Damn that Oprah. As I have a faulty thyroid and am at "that" age, I have so much to think about....and, not just about that acne. I guess I'll be looking up Dr. Northrup's book the next time I drag my sorry ass to Barnes and Noble...

Prior to Oprah's dissertation on our menopausing bodies, I spent a chunk of the day visiting with the vet. Not for me, for the dogs. Time for those annual canine physicals. Here's a photo of Freckles Warrior Princess post-vet-visit. Of course, her eyes are shut because her eyes are ALWAYS shut when I talk a photo. (It's a gift she has.) As I talk about the dogs ad nauseum, I thought a State of the Dogs report appropriate. Good news, sports fans--Freckles' yeasty beasties are dissipating, although she still stinks like the dickens. At least the bacteria is gone. More good news--she is at a perfect weight--no more calling her the "Fatty Patty." All that walking pays off, I guess. The bad news--that deformed dewclaw of hers had literally curled up and grown "into" her skin. Ugh. The groomer missed cutting the nail last visit, despite me giving the lady a written reminder about the dew club. God bless that vet assistant--it was quite the ordeal to get that dew claw clipped. If Freckles could scream, I think she would have squawked. She's a true champion, though, so she took it like a champion. (And, may I add that they didn't charge me for this. You may be thinking that they should not charge me for something that the groomer missed, but the groomer is just some contracted chick, so there was a chance I'd get another charge on the long of bills.) The only question left about FWP is whether or not she has a heart murmur. Well, it certainly isn't hurting her and it hasn't bothered her before and she seems no worse for the wear, so I'm gonna focus on that stench coming from her skin and leave the heart for another day. A really happy moment for the Warrior Princess: no more Bordella in the nose--a disgusting thing to have done, I'm guessing--it was an injection this time. I think Freckles did a dance when she heard it was a shot in the neck, not a drink shot in the schnoz.

Lucy was reported to be a bit "skinnier" than might be expected--that's not to say she is too thin or thin--it just means she has a few ounces to gain, should she choose to do so. (No, Lucy, this does not mean more treats.) I was relieved to hear this, as I was afraid that she might have tipped the scales a bit too high. She's so much bigger than she used to be that I worry. Her bad news--yeasty ears and tartar! As a person of the dental world (having a history of being an orthodontic assistant for five years), I was aghast about the tartar thing. I'm always looking at Lucy and Freckles' teeth....but, I wasn't looking back "far enough," where the really big molars are hiding. Dear god, I almost peed when the vet showed me that back tooth. I wanted to grab a tool and start playing dental hygienist. Did you know they have people who specialize in cleaning dog and cat teeth? Well, they do. The procedure under general anesthesia, which not only sounds kinda scary but also very expensive. I've decided Lucy can live with tartar for the time being. (If I could get her to hold still, I'd get a photo of the tartar. I'm not giving up yet...) The other thing the vet assistant showed me was the yucky crap in Lucy's ears. She then started RIPPING out ear hair, first with her hands, then with this tweezer-like implement. Lucy looked startled. I mean, I'm thinking it would suck to have someone ripping ear hair out of your ear canal. I got to grab the crusty strands of hair as the lady pulled them out. Tasty!

As I remain an embarrassingly shallow person, I am here to tell you I am so excited about "Dancing with the Stars" I could just pee. Last night was the "Paso Doble," my favorite dance. OLE! Jenny Garth and that Cheetah Girl kicked my ass right out of the living room! Oooh! I was cheering out loud. How am I supposed to choose a winner when there are so many fun people on the show? Marie's humor and wit, Mel B's surprising grace, Jane Seymour's flowing movement, Jenny's incredible improvement....get rid of the guys and let the girls keep dancing!

And, thus that's the State of the Dogs and other tidbits this fine Tuesday afternoon. This weekend is the Love Loft, so there will be plenty of fodder to share within a matter of hours...