Summer, Madonna and LOHASians
Summer must officially be here. How do I know this? I finally put away my long underwear this morning and am back to shaving my legs more than once a month. Those are SURE signs of summer. Another sign is that the wife is mowing the lawn on the hour….

The Madonna Event (aka the concert at the United Center) is only 11 days away and counting. I just don’t have a thing to wear yet. (I don’t have the money to buy anything to wear but if you think that will stop me, you are sadly mistaken. I’d forgo food for a week if it meant having a mean outfit for the Madonna. You can’t be a true Madonna whore without a new outfit. Go back and read my two previous blogs on being a Madonna whore.) I can’t wait to see her in her “Jesus Christ on the Cross” pose. I’ll start praying for her right now.

On a spiritual note, I’ve finally found my ‘peeps!’ (No, not the sugary Easter candy—my people.) They are Lohasians, as defined in the June 5, 2006 edition of NEWSWEEK (see page 10, for those of you who are into references). Lohasians, according to this article are weirdos like me who “are dedicated to personal and planetary health.” LOHAS stands for “Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability.” There’s a mouthful.

Like a true Lohasian, I read the “Celestine Prophecy” when it came out (way back in 1993--I read it while riding a stationary bike-I don't suggest that mode of reading), I adore the Dan Millman “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” books, I own “What the Bleep do We Know” and I voted for Al Gore. "Contact" is one of my all timer favorite movies (and not just because of Jodie Foster). I shudder when I have to trim my houseplants (they’re living things that I just know don’t want a haircut), I’m a vegetarian (call me granola, crunchy girl), I want to kiss Oprah, Marianne Williamson and the Dali Lama. I hung up a wind chime in the garage to improve our feng shui, for god’s sake…

Just to prove my lohas-iousness, I’ll quote the Newsweek article and put my comments in (red parentheses). I would have posted some photos of LOHASians but for some reason my blog will just not post photos this AM. I'll work on it. (Besides, I need some more photos of Madonna, don't you think? )

--73% of Lohasians buy recycled paper goods (we’re queens of recycling--go ahead, check our garbage. We buy recycled products whenever possible. The wife is all over the whole landfill thing. She's still upset about all those hotdogs and disposable diapers sitting in there...)

--71% of Lohasians buy natural or organic personal care products (oh my god, I just washed my hair with organic shampoo & brushed my teeth with organic toothpaste. I bet you didn't even know they made organic toothpaste. No more flouride for me. If I get a zillion cavities, I'll let you know...)

--Lohasians pay more to get foods without pesticides (I don’t want any of that genetically modified or sprayed with chemical foods, either and I could pay for a new outfit for the Madonna concert if I'd stop buying all that expensive food. At least Woodman's, the cheap store around here, has a large selection of organic foods. Where is a Whole Foods when you need one? Why doesn't Rockford have one of these stores? I'd drive to Madison to visit their Whole foods but then I'd be wasting all that gas.....)

--Spiritual practices include meditation (Buddha babes--can you say, ooommmm? I'm a therapist, for crying out loud--I'm teaching people how to meditate), yoga (Hindu mamas--can you say "McYoga?), honoring nature (big ol’ Pagans! I want to hug a tree just hearing that), feng shui (Asian, can you say "windchimes in the garage--IN the garage, not outside?)

--Say they are “spiritual, not religious” ("I've been babbling that for years; thought it was just a leftover of Catholic guilt...)

--Do energy healing (I’m a Reiki student, hoping to get my Level II training this month....do you feel the energy? I'll need people to practice on, so send me an email if you need some distance healing....)

Wow. Do I feel like a weirdo with friends or what? Don't be scared, I'm still the poop-loving nerd that I've always been. Now I just have ANOTHER label to slap on myself...

If you need more info on this or are fearful that you, too might be a LOHASian, click on these sites:

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/192/story_19222_1.html or http://www.beliefnet.com/section/quiz/index.asp?sectionID=10007&surveyID=319

Now get out of my way so I can go eat some bark and dance like a virgin.