Random Poop Nonsense on a Saturday

First of all, I don't want you to forget that POOP FOR PEACE DAY is April 14, 2006. I don't know about you, but I'm saving up my poop so I can have the motherload on that day. If you didn't catch the previous "poop for peace" blog (not log), here's what you need to know, taken directly from The Poop Report:

"Poop For Peace Day is not about protest or partisanship or politics. PoopFor Peace Day is about acknowledging the fundamental basis of sharedhumanity: black or white, liberal or conservative, Christian or Muslim orJew, we are all united in struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.And Poop For Peace Day is April 14 -- next Friday.Spread the word. Tell the media. And start eating roughage." More info: http://www.poopreport.com/Peace

(The poop photo is from poop-on-peaceniks.blogspot.com/ is probably copywrited but it was too funny not to take the chance. Heck, I'm giving credit for where the photo came from. Can you believe you can find this kind of "crap" (pun intended) on the Internet? All I did was a Google Search for "poop peace" and a whole pile of images showed up. Is this a great country or what?)

This leads me to thoughts about one of my all-time favorite work stories--related, of course--to poop. As the supervisor of a group home, I had the pleasure of sometimes plunging a toilet. Mind you, there are eight giant men living in that group home and they make eight zillion pounds of giant poop every day. Those old toilets can only handle so much and staff was forever plunging. Well, one day I go into the bathroom and in the toilet is the hugest, roundest piece of poop I have EVER seen. It was the size and shape of a baseball, or perhaps an 11 inch softball, and it was spinning round and round and round because it couldn't fit through the hole. It was AMAZING! So, this poor puppy of a poop had to go. Being the creative type, I went into the kitchen and got some tongs. I entered the bathroom, plucked out the spinning ball of poop and yelled, "WHO MADE THIS POOP?" Several of the guys were standing around watching, hands in pockets, silent. No one makes eye contact with me but I do catch them looking at the tong-held, hard-as-a-rock poop. I can't believe this thing actually came out of someone's orphace. How the hell did it ever get out of there, how did they make it so round and big and why was it like CEMENT? Ouch! I tell them," Whoever made this poop should be proud and take ownership! I've never seen a round poop like this before!" Still, no one takes the credit--or blame. After we had all had a chance to contemplate the meaning of this round poop and after the case manager and I stopped laughing, I threw the poop away in the garbage can--I threw away the tongs, too, so you can rest assured no salad was tossed after poop-removal-tong duties.

On a happier note, the pooper at work finally seems to have caught on that it is his/her poop (I won't incriminate the person) we are taking photos of and them posting around the agency, as we haven't seen any poop in the toilet in the last week. It's not like we were subtle or anything....desparate times for desparate measures.

Another work-related poop thing is that we as supervisors were recently given written directions on how to plunge and turn on/off the water to the toilet. There were even photos on the instructions. You know, that Master's Degree really didn't cover proper plunging techniques, so I suppose it's very important.

Finally, Lucy made the BIGGEST poop ever this morning. It was human sized and I was very jealous. Even the wife was amazed. It wasn't round or clogging a toilet but it was still really impressive.

That's enough poop for one day, don't you think? Flush early and flush often, that's what I say.....