Hedgehog Hell
Oh dear, there is trouble in doggy paradise.

I ordered $150.00 worth of dog food on line, which is a good thing. (I know, I know, you’re wondering how two small dogs need that much or that expensive of food. Just go with it.) In the box from JB Pets was a free squeaky toy—an even better thing. But, two dogs looking in the box from JB Pets and only seeing one squeaky hedgehog is a bad thing.

Let me re-iterate: one toy, two dogs, bad news.

Lucy took an immediate liking to Mr. Hedgehog, as seen in the photo. She’s not giving it up, either. She carries it everywhere, including to bed, to her dinner plate, on walks. She only drops it for a millisecond while getting a drink of water or eating a treat, and even then she really doesn’t want to drop it. Lucy keeps her paw on it when the toy is not directly in her mouth. You can see by the photo of Freckles that she is sad and lonely without a hedgehog of her own. Sigh.

The pacifist of the group, Lucy has taken on a whole new persona—she is a hedgehog-hog. A mean, paranoid hedgehog-hog. She even growled at Freckles today when Freckles got too close to the hedgehog. Freckles looks morose…all she wants is one chance—one chance!--at the hedgehog. Lucy has two words for Freckles and they are not “thank you.”

The hedgehog makes it hard for Lucy to breath. She makes these snoring, grunting, gagging sounds. LBP can’t afford to lose any more brain cells, so this is troubling to me—she needs all the oxygen she can get.

I see that I am going to have to buy Freckles her very own hedgehog at the local pet store or I’m going to have to pay for therapy and doggy Prozac for Freckles. It’s cheaper just to get the toy. FWP is not used to being anything but the top dog in all situations. The hedgehog might push her over the edge. I don’t dare try to take the hedgehog from Lucy and give it to Freckles, as that would be a fate worse than death to our younger, not-at-the-top-of-the-pack dog. This is her moment of glory and she is going to take it for all its worth.

Those of you who truly know me know what I do next.

I put the dogs in the car and head off to PetSmart. I put the dogs in the cart and push them up and down the aisles looking for Hedgehog Twin. The gods were with us--there was ONE lonely hedgehog hanging on the rank--and, on sale! I buy the toy (and some treats, of course, quite to the wife's dismay...after all, I did just get $150 worth of dog crap yesterday) and off we go.

We take the twin home but of course no one now wants to play with the old hedgehog...they both want the new one. I bang my head on the wall. The wife decides that washing them both will make them "equal" and thus each dog will want there own. This sounds like a great idea to us but a very bad idea to Lucy. She actually sits next to the washing machine, staring upward. She KNOWS her hedgehog is in there!

There is no consoling her until the wash cycle is done. Both dogs are handed their own hedgehogs (a little soggy, but who cares--they'll just be covered with drool within minutes).

You know how this is going to end. Both dogs still want the same hedgehog, although I can't tell if it's the new one or the old one. Just like kids, they want the same thing.

There is no such thing as a free hedgehog, eh?