How to humilate your dog
Freckles Warrior Princess is not the type to wear a pink dress....but, for those oh-so-special occasions, a little lacy number is always in fashion. Here's FWP modeling her latest partywear.

(What she's thinking: "get this goddamned dress off me before I bite the piss out of your calves.")

Freckles used to be a certified "Canine Good Citizen" dog & a registered therapy dog, but then we got Lucy and Freckles became evil and now she is known as a "Canine Bad Citizen" Dog. It's downright embarrassing (but not as embarrassing as that pink dress).

(Okay, so it's not really very normal for a grown woman like moi to have a blog about her dog and then put a photo of the dog wearing a pink dress on said blog, but I had to wait 16 long years before the wife finally, finally, finally agreed to letting me have a dog...so, if I want to have a blog about dogs, I certainly will. Sixteen years, people!)

Freckles is a --gasp--pet store dog. (We claim ignorance, as we didn't learn about the whole puppy mill thing until AFTER we purchased her. We have since proclaimed our dismay over puppy mills and pet stores and the likes.) The wife picked her out, as she seemed to be the calmest one of the bunch. (We later learned that she had such a bad case of Ghiradia that she could barely function. But, that's a different poop story.) It was a tough start to life--I almost killed her by accident the first night with this horrific flea collar, then I almost squished her under the garage door, and we won't mention the ghiradia-soft-serve-poop that lasted for months). Freckles was very gifted in obedience class---the trainer called her "the hardest working Shih Tzu in America." Although her teeth are a disaster and her butt shoot is a little off to the side (it's hard not to look at when she's walking down the street), I was impressed. This dog was worth waiting 16 years for!

Then, it happened. We got Lucy and Freckles went to hell in a handbasket. More on that later.

Lucy and Freckles

Left: Life is so much better when not wearing a dress and when lounging on the couch. The dog on the right is Lucy, the diarrhea dog (see previous post). Freckles is the one smirking in the back.




Lucy, Bark of Poteidaia
Ah, now this is better--here's Lucy with her official Xena Warrior Princess Chakram. If you have to ask, don't bother.

Lucy is NOT a pet store dog. She's a certified "shot-out-of-a- dog-at-some-lady's-house" kind of dog. I got to meet Lucy when she was only four weeks old and two years into Freckles tenure with us. Lucy was lively and obnoxious and hilarious. I took photos of her and chased the wife around the house with them. I begged for dog number two. As you can see, all that whining and begging got me what I asked for....