Giving a hoot about Owl Poop

First, may I say my new soul-mate-boyfriend is a man-whore. EVERYONE knows him. I am just a tiny speck in his gigantic universe. Well, I guess I can share...

I don't know what you've been up to, but I've been discussing (arguing?) with co-workers about what owl poop is called. Really.

It all started because of great horned owl hooting outside in the backyard for the past couple of weeks. The wife and I have heard the owl before but not yet this year, so we were very excited to hear of its return. You haven't really lived until you've heard the beautiful, loud, easily-recognizable call of the great horned owl. (And no, those aren't horns or ears--they're just tufts of feathers--sure makes it easy to tell if it's a great horned owl or not.) I, of course, had to share the event with co-workers, who do NOT appreciate the fine merits of bird-watching.

Say it with me: BUBO VIRGINANUS!

For you blessed readers that do not know of my amateur Ornithologist status, let me educate you. When my ex-husband used to ask me on dates (don't try to understand), he would often take me bird watching. While I found this to be interesting on most occasions, there were other times I confess my eyes were shut as I pretended to look through the binoculars. I guess one of the best times to see birds is near the time of dawn, so that meant getting up really early (college-age standards, that is) so we could be in birding position at the dawn.
I believe I probably was drunk for some of those bird outings, as the time of dawn isn't exactly very "far" from the end of bar closing time, but I digress.

During those hot dates, I was exposed--on more than one occasion--to owl poop, as pointed out by the Gentle Giant. The ex was very thorough in his passion for birding and thus I was educated on everything from the various calls to the finding of poop to locate specific birds. Owl poop was the best and easiest as it is big and is full of things like bones and fur....

Somehow, the wife has also picked up a passion for ornithology albeit from the back porch. (Hang in there, I'll get to the owl poop in just a second.) In true nerd fashion, we have a book where we keep a list of all the birds we've seen out our window. It's pretty amazing (well, amazing to a bird nerd like moi) that we've seen everything from a red-tailed hawk literally perched on the deck railing (creepily staring into the kitchen, staring at Lucy) to an American Oriole chirping in the tree (no longer called the Baltimore Oriole) to a tiny humming bird flitting around the wife's flower boxes....don't you just want to run outside with some binoculars and enjoy the birds in your neighborhood???

Suffice it to say that the wife and I have spent many a minute with the binoculars pressed to our little eyeballs looking at the great horned owl in the tree right at the end of our yard. In fact, I was late leaving for work one day (well, late for me--I was still an hour before the actual scheduled time of my work hours--don't try to understand that, either) because I was too busy looking at the owl to leave for work. (If you ever have to choose between watching an owl or going to work, always pick the bird.)

Back to the owl poop. So, I'm out for holiday cheer with MJagger, Cheesabatti Grrrl, Tututony and the rest of the work gang when the subject of my owl-siting comes up. As you can imagine, this leads to much good-humored teasing and laughing, me included in the laughter. And, as you imagine, this leads somehow in someway to discussion about owl poop. For some reason, none of us can remember what owl poop is technically called but we all seem to know it has a special name. We all seem to know that owl poop is full of gross things like bones and fur but none of us can recall the specific name for this product. Of course, I cannot go on one more minute without knowing, so I use a handy cell phone and call the wife, as I know she will be at home perusing the internet.....

.....For some reason, she doesn't really seemed amused by my intense need to know what owl poop is called. I don't understand! (I swear to you that NO alcohol had been consumed during this dinner. None. My co-workers were saving the booze for later. It's very important to be sober when discussing owl poop and talking about man-whore soul mates.)

This is what Owl poop looks like. Yum!

I talk the wife into typing "owl poop" into a Google search but I can tell it's not going well. (Looking back, had I asked her to type in "owl droppings," the search would have gone swimmingly. "Owl poop" is not so good in the search department. I was under pressure--I couldn't think straight.) No, the wife is SO not amused. I'm laughing and yelling orders about what to type and she keeps saying things like, "I can't understand you." (Meaning: because of my laughing and background noise, not because she cannot understand me and my need to know what owl poop is called. She has long given up on understanding me.) In the meantime, four other people are trying to get the answer before I do. This launches the competitive side in all of us, if there can be such a thing related to bird poop.

Feral Cat Women is on the phone with her ex-husband, who thinks the word is "guano" but I reject this, saying that is the word for BAT poop. MJagger is on the phone with her husband as the knows his dad will know the name of this prized poop--they, too are saying it's guano, but I know this is not what Gentle Giant called it. Trucker Boy finds a Haiku poem entitled, "Owl Pellets" while using his new fancy cell phone with the touch screen and full keyboard. (He should win extra points for finding this, as how many people can find let alone write Haiku about owl poop?

This then leads to my "no-so-a-ha-moment-moment" of knowing that owl poop is technically known as pellets. (By this time, I am no longer on the phone with the wife. Trust me, it was safer to end the call than bark out more demands about Google Searches. If only I had one of those fancy phones!) Many still seem skeptical that "pellet" is the correct term, but they had better things to worry about (like getting to the bar) than nerd terms for owl poop. I'd be on my own for the rest of the search.

You know I came home and looked up this crap (pun intended), don't you? By the way, I am here to tell you that A LOT of teachers have "units" about dissection of owl pellets. Above is a photo of some kid holding is owl pellet. Ya gotta love those teachers. (I don't think the wife has ever assigned anyone to dissect an owl pellet but there is still time.)

(I don't know what that gray stripe is all about. Just ignore it.)

According to owlpages.com, "Pellets are very large, about 7.6 to 10.2 cm (3- 4") long and 3.8 cm (1.5") thick. Pellets are dark greyish-black and compact. Skulls as wide as 3 cm (1.2") are regurgitated whole. Pellets are regurgitated 6 to 10 hours after eating."

Wait a minute--regurgitated?

Yes, indeed! "....birds produce solid waste, though this is regurgitated through the mouth in pellets. The owl is well known for the production of pellets." It's not poop at all! Technically, owls are PUKING, not POOPING. Why, I even found a book on line focused exclusively on "owl puke." Is this a great country or what? And, let me tell you--there are even OWL PELLET DISSECTING KITS for sale on line! (Santa: What do you want for Christmas, little girl? Addiwp: "I want an Owl Pellet Dissecting kit.")

So you have a visual: ViaNegativa.us, "When an Owl is about to produce a pellet, it will take on a pained expression — the eyes are closed, the facial disc narrow, and the bird will be reluctant to fly. At the moment of expulsion, the neck is stretched up and forward, the beak is opened, and the pellet simply drops out without any retching or spitting movements." What a descriptive passage regarding the passage of the pellet! I so want to go out and watch our owl shoot a pellet! Maybe I could watch the owl choke out a pellet and pick it up while it's still fresh!


People write poetry about this "shit:" Owl Pellet by Erica Funkhouser
(completely presented her without permission but it's about owl pellets, for crying out loud--Erica, please forgive me!)

I was crossing the field -- that is all --
longing for nothing more than a color,
when I found the owl's pellet
coiled in the grass.
Beneath the glistening veil of mucus,
a mass of conflicting ingredients:
squirrel fur, rabbit hip,
feather of flicker and jay.
Farther in, I came upon crow quills
splintered and wrapped into balls,
tidy parcels of polished bone,
a frog's spotted fingers.

Robin Yim (springthawpoetry) writes his poem:

Its a compression
of fur and bones
an owl leaves behind
after digesting a mouse;
a life now ready
for resurrecting
in a lab tray
by school children
studying the natural world.

And, thus you now understand why I give a hoot about owl poop. It's a beautiful thing, almost as beautiful as the owl itself. I'm going to send this blog link to all my co-workers so they, too can give a hoot about owl poop....

....god only knows what I'm gonna find on my desk after sending them this link......