Mirrored

Hot damn,this queen was a real beaty. Hot, hot, hot.

Alas, she was also so proud that she could not bear to be surpassed in beauty by anyone. No one. Not Angelina. Not Madonna. Not Miss America. Not anyone. 

Now, this fly girl , the Queen, had a wonderful mirror of which answered all her questions....and so, when she asked who was the fairest of them all....the mirror would reply, "You got it going on--you're the bomb," and the Queen was contented, because she knew the mirror could speak nothing but the truth.

But as time passed on, that biscuit Snow-White grew more and more beautiful, until she was as lovely as the sunshine-filled days, and still more lovely than the Queen and Angelina and Madonna and Miss America....so, when ol' Queenie one day asked her mirror- "Mirror, mirror upon the wall, Who is the fairest fair of all?  "The mirror answered "Bitch, Snow-White is fairer than your ugly puss, indeed."

And the Queen RIPPED the mirror off the wall, threw it at the damned dwarves, had seven years bad luck and never ate an apple again.

Indeed.

I started thinking about the whole mirror thing because of the a particular person, of whom I've written about in previous blogs. (You don't need to know her or the backstory to consider what this blog says. It's a bonus but not a necessity. All you really need to know that this person is on my radar and that there is an issue with mice. Yes, mice. Remember the mice. Embrace the mice.) 

I hear that when you dislike something in someone, it usually means that the thing YOU like the least in that person is the thing YOU need to work on the most within yourself. 

Damn that therapist speak.

With that in mind, I stepped up to the mirror and croaked out, "okay, so what is it about this person that I do not like and that I must need to improve in myself?"

The mirror gives me a blank stare, followed with a half-smile smile. I tell the mirror, as if the mirror doesn't already know, "I WANT to have NOTHING in common with this woman. I want to be kind and gentle and loving and and honest and grounded and non-psychotic and chocolate-filled and...."

I suppose it is not exactly peachy to harbor even a dollop of venom toward another human. It isn't what I'd like to attract to myself. I know I must need to work on about four billion things within myself, so I best keep lookig in the mirror and get on with it. After all, if I want to attract positive things, I must BE a positive thing. 

I whisper to the mirror, "It's hard to be a positive person if you are always making fun of someone, no matter who they are or what they've done."

I chew on my lower lip. Well, I don't like to harm mice, so that's not it. I don't like to save mice, either. Actually, I don't really care much about mice except that the wife peed in her pants once when laughing during a mouse attack at Wild Mama's house, but that's really the only thoughts I have about mice.

I consider my weaknesses. I do have a terrible time not interrupting others. I do use humor inappropriately. I do get an arrogant hair up my very naughty, hauty butt. I can be a judgemental ass. I am probably delusional at times. Universe, what do you want?
 

I look at my reflection, but as there is no reply, I decide to go at this another way. I stand up straight and announce, "Well, we both like dogs. We both know many of the same people. We both like men's shoes. We both have weird noses. We both drive the same model cars. We are basically both nerds. We are both bad with snowblowers. We have the same education.  We are both gay as the day is long. We both don't wear dresses unless at gunpoint...."

The man in the mirror mirror raises an eyebrow. Hmmm. Closer? That's not it, either, although it never hurts to find good in those you do not find yourself drawn to...... maybe the universe has put her in my life so I can practice life lessons. Ugh.

For some reason, I have a moment of decency and decorum. I am filled with Recovering-Catholic Guilt. I am a teensy bit ashamed. I say to my not-exactly-a-friend the mirror, "She can't help it she's delusional. I must mend my ways and become a better human being."

Perhaps this dedication to decency will lead to improved frequency of bowel movements; after all, I'll be letting go of my shallow dislike and naughtiness. I vow to never write about her in a blog from here on in....

....well, I won't speak of her unless she leaves a poop floating in the toilet...then, all bets are off. I will take pictures and write more blogs about her. Heck, I'd do that about anyone, so it's not like I'm being mean or anything.

In 6th grade, I was in the play "Snow White" and I'm not kidding when I say I played the mirror. I sat behind this cardboard cut-out and pulled out the tinfoil center when it was my turn to talk. I still remember my one line: My lady queen, you are fair, tis true, but Snow White is fairer, far than you." 

An Oscar-winning performance, indeed.

Perhaps this was the start of the Universe saying, "look at yourself, not others." Maybe it was a beginner's guide to how we reflect what we want to--and don't want to--see in others. 

Maybe it was trying to teach me that we are all Snow White AND the Queen.

It sucks not to be Snow White. I want to be Snow White. I don't want to be the Queen. Who the hell wants to be the queen? I'd bet dollars to donuts that we all want to be Snow White (or, the Prince....this is a gender-inclusive blog).

I give a last glance at the mirror. "Perhaps we are all destined to not like some people and that's okay and that's just the way it is. We can't be everyone's cup of tea."

The mirror replies, "I prefer coffee. With cream. Get on it, Cinderalla."

Dammit! Not only do I have to reflect on myself, I must serve others. Coffee, with cream. Coffee with cream. So much to ponder.... 

Be nice to the dwarves, 
leave the mirror where you can see it, 
serve the coffee, 
be the Queen,
be Snow White, 
be the prince, 
be Cinderella..... 

and, be nice to the mice. Snow White and Cinderella loved mice.
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